Preparation 


(I would smile but the mud would start cracking.)

I have something booked for next week which I will do a post on later. What this post is about is getting camera ready. Featured in this photo is a “Fango Mud Therapy” sample mask by Jor’El Parker. (The DC/Marvel references are not lost on me.) I got it by way of a subscription to Ipsy. My face had a major break out due to stress and transitioning of my skin care. It was a total mess and I needed a fix so my face would not look jacked up on camera. Prior to working in human resources and working at the bar, I used to work in retail selling cosmetics. I’m a bit of a product junkie and I try many things to see what works on my skin. (Prior to working in cosmetics, I never wore make-up or was particularly girly and glamorous. I was definitely more of a Tomboy.)

Even though I was a Tomboy, I still had acne issues and tried to keep some sort of a skin care regime. This has served me well in the anti-aging department (I’m 33 currently.) Right now I’m in a weird place between using hardcore anti-aging and anti-acne skin care. My face does not know what it wants to do at the moment. Like either be dry and wrinkly or oily and pimply; pick a stuggle dammit!

A couple of things I also need to add to the list of preparation is:

•Touching up my roots because they are looking a little silver.

•Shaping up my brows.

•Eye cream (always!)

•Teeth Whitening treatment.

•Wax, wax, wax!

•Continue to train my naturally tight, curly hair to lay straight and flat for the shoot.

•Body wraps, lots of water and continue improving my fitness regime. (Story about that later.)

This will probably not be my only post today as I have a lot on my mind and need to talk about it, but I want to get a power nap in and think about how I’m going to write it in the meantime.

Rocktopia

(Source: Broadway.com)

I’m heading to Broadway tomorrow! This weekend, I’m required to register with Tribeca to complete my paperwork and pick up my credentials for access to the festival. At the same time, my friend and former castmate from ‘Orange Is The New Musical’, Yvette, is performing in the show ‘Rocktopia’ on Broadway. She has been posting pictures of her experience left and right, and I’m super happy for her. To lend my support, I bought a ticket to see the show and let her know I’m going. I’ll post pictures on Instagram after the show.

Filler Post

(Source: someecards.com)

Hello Friends,

Queen Procrastinator here. My apologies for being so late with posting on my blog. I was too lazy to write very busy and couldn’t make the time to write. But I’m back and brimming with ideas. Instead of writing a separate post each day, I’m going to write short topical blurbs I have to share/have opinions on, in this post. This way I’m all up to date and will have a fresh post for tomorrow. Ok, here we go.

Publicity Stunts

(Source: quickmeme.com and ABC)

I think the debacle with Conor McGregor is a total publicity stunt, here’s why:

I have found in the entertainment biz, that in order to keep the dollars rolling in and to create buzz, people pull publicity stunts, sell stories to tabloids, and drum up drama on social media seemingly from nowhere. UFC is a form of entertainment even if it consists of people beating the crap out of each other. Now while I’m a martial artist myself, watching others fight for profit is not my jam, but I get that it’s a business. The fight that McGregor had with Floyd Mayweather was insanely profitable, even though many fans watching it felt like they were fleeced out of their money. Much of the latest drama with CM flying in his people from Ireland (which is some next level shenanigans if you ask me) and attacking a bus full of fighters, feels along the same mode of operation. But what really stuck out to me that this may have been fraudulent? It was the subsequent interview with UFC’s owner, Dana White. He described the chaos in full, but for someone who claimed to be disturbed by the whole ordeal; he looked and sounded like a kid who’s struggling to hold in a secret that one of his classmates has a crush on his friend. It was really strange and frankly very suspicious to me. And while Conor McGregor did turn himself in for arrest, at best he is going to get a slap on the wrist. (Wealth and celebrity is a privilege.) Does this mean that all entertainment publicity stunts are done for profit? No. Some are done for vengeance, but profit leads the way most times.

Acro Yoga

(Source: Shared on Kurohime’s Palace FB.)

I was a flyer last night, which is shocking! I was always a backspot/base in cheerleading…I’m usually too tall and heavy to be a flyer. Somehow, during the quick lesson I took, I managed to do the “Bird” pose (as seen here):

(Source: Jeff Nelson, Yoga Journal , and Pinterest.)

All 200 lbs of me (no exaggeration.) I did have a spotter because I was a tad bit nervous about being up in the air. I want to practice some more (and drop some weight in the process) to see if this helps with re-conditioning my body back to the strength level it once was.

Working At The Theatre

(Source: Thespian Peacock Tumblr and Pinterest.)

In this case, I’m referring to the independent movie theatre I’m currently working at. I initially got hired in the Summer of 2016. Unbeknownst to me, the city planned to sell the theatre to a private buyer and I ended up being laid off after 2 short months of working, while the sale was finalized and renovations were made to the space. It’s almost 2 years later and I was hired back to my old position. I forgot how much I liked working here. Not just because I’m getting paid to watch movies, but the movies themselves are quality. As mentioned before, this is an independent movie theatre, meaning we play predominantly independent films (though it’s not part of a franchise either.) So far between my previous stint and currently I have watched:

•Weiner (documentary about Anthony Weiner.)

•I Saw The Light (biopic about Hank Williams Sr.)

•First Monday In May (documentary about the Met Gala.)

•Phantom Thread (the only movie I watched so far, that I hated.)

•All The Queen’s Horses (documentary about the Rita Crundwell fraud case in Dixon, IL.)

•A Fantastic Woman (winner of the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar.)

•Faces Places (Independent Spirit Award winner for Best Documentary.)

•And many more.

I’m eagerly awaiting ‘The Death of Stalin’ and to watch some of the AFI Top 100 films too.

Instagram Series

(Circa a few weeks ago with the ‘One Color Makeup Challenge’)

If you don’t follow me on Instagram, please do so! This blog is great for deeper thought, but Instagram is where I post all of the fun “behind the scenes” stuff. Since I’m working at Tribeca and got picked to the highest Crew position I can be in; I’m spending this week creating Instagram stories where I’m styling myself for the week. The theme: Creative Ways of Wearing All Black.

Storage

(Source: Iyanla: Fix My Life.)

The family storage unit had to be emptied because the rent was too high and we were getting behind on payments. This isn’t a bad thing. I take it as a sign that we have to get rid of more stuff. The biggest issue is much of it previously belonged to my great grandmother and grandmother. They shopped compulsively with no where to put things. After they died my family was left with the burden of picking up the pieces. Hopefully we can get it down to a manageable amount before I head off to Dublin.

Dublin

(Source: Facebook.)

Speaking of Dublin…I have a secret project I’m working on that will make my experience over there better. I’m not going to reveal too much as I don’t want to jinx it. Just know that once it gets closer to when I start school, I will write a whole post about it.

Whew! That’s all I have for now. Expect a fresh post tomorrow!

Kind of a Bum

(Photo taken today. Filter courtesy of Instagram.)

I have things going on, and yet I don’t have things going on. On the positive side:

• I got booked to work Tribeca Film Festival this year.

• I got a mentor to help me with my voiceover portfolio.

• I have two jobs at the pole studio and the movie theatre.

On the downside though:

• I haven’t been doing much performing.

Much of my depression, I believe, comes from the fact that I don’t feel like I’m doing enough; even though I’m doing plenty.

There are a couple of things coming up that I’m going to try to dip my toes into. First and foremost: Saturday Night Live has this Saturday and next where they will air an episode. I applied for this weekend, but if they don’t take me this weekend, I’ll definitely apply next weekend since I’m already going to be in NYC for Tribeca’s orientation. Also the community theatre in NJ (that I had the amazing ‘As You Like It’ audition, even though I didn’t get picked) is holding auditions for ‘Twelfth Night’. Which is funny, because I bombed the last ‘TN’ audition with Shakespeare in Clark Park, Philadelphia. Maybe I’m just supposed to try again with a different group. It would be earlier in the Summer, which is good, and in a very hip little town in Jersey. The only conflict is transportation, but I will figure something out.

Ultimately, I need to get out of this rut. Especially since it appears that most of my friends are working on various projects and shows (like Creed 2, which surprise, surprise…I didn’t get picked again 😏.) I don’t want to get into that jealous phase where I’m judging myself by another person’s highlight reel; so I really need to do something of my own soon. Even if the part is tiny, I don’t care. I want to be productive.

I’m Depressed

(Source: Facebook.)

My depression works in mysterious ways. There are days when the reality of my situation is a little too bleak; I’m lonely; or my favorite, absolutely no reason at all.

Today, all three of them are rearing their ugly heads at me, making it a difficult day. What I normally try to do is write a gratitude journal or write to God about my feelings. Sadly, I have a number of writing jobs besides journaling, and I haven’t accomplished any of them; with the exception of this post.

It could be Mercury Retrograde kicking my butt. However, I don’t find that likely. It doesn’t hit me as hard as it does for my friends. I will concede that I have been restless, having weird dreams (which are weighing heavily on my mind), and losing the job I thought would save me. I believe these things are adding fuel to the fire.

Speaking of the dreams…

I don’t know if my loneliness is spurring on the dreams, or if the dreams are spurring on my loneliness; but I keep dreaming that I meet my future boyfriend.

The reason why this is depressing is because I have had recurring dreams about this mystery guy for the better part of a decade to no avail. As I mentioned in previous posts, most of my dreams do translate to reality somehow, but not this one for some reason. I’ve dreamt about my first boyfriend a week before I met him. I’ve dreamt about the guy, who eventually ripped my heart to shreds, a couple of days before I met him (I curse the fact that my dreams didn’t tell me to run from him sooner.) If I were to interpret this dream, I would say that it’s my inner desire to be loved, not necessarily that it’s supposed to happen in real life. He is a fictional character meant to keep me hopeful so I don’t give up on life. It’s weird though, the dreams are frequent and extremely strong right now compared to the past. I don’t know what to think anymore, I’m so confused.

Anyway, this was something I wanted to get off my chest. Honestly writing about it, even though it’s public, is helping me quite a bit. Thanks for listening.

Celebrity Gossip…

(Source: Facebook.)

As I mentioned before: I loathe celebrity gossip and tabloids. I really don’t care what goes on in their day to day lives; however, a story broke from Tiffany Haddish, detailing the night she took a selfie with Beyoncé.

Apparently a heavily drugged up actress, bit Beyoncé on her face, and Tiffany was about to whoop the actress’s behind. Beyoncé put a stop to the impending altercation, hence the photo….

Beyoncé is a better person than me.

Because, IF A HEIFER PUT HER NASTY MOUTH ON ME, ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE!!!

I’m not a member of the “Beyhive” and probably never will be, but this is foul! People have no sense of boundaries and that’s why we have friggin’ problems like this.

(Source: Facebook.)

Beyoncé is too nice and should have allowed Tiffany to shut it down. If I continue to work in this industry, I’m going to have to maintain a high guard to stay away from all of these shenanigans.

Ewwww…

Wow, Wow, and More Wow!

(Source: Facebook.)

I have an amazing support group. I quit my very brief job at the restaurant and in the same week, one of my closest friends set up a fundraiser on my behalf! The fundraiser will provide the down payment I need to get into SAG. I can pay off the rest while I’m working on projects. Plus, I still have my two jobs at the pole studio and the independent movie theatre which will help me stay alive. I’m beyond words of how grateful I am to her and everyone that gave me money. My biggest wish is to work on a major project, with a decent sized part, so they can see where their investment took me.

😒

(Source: Facebook and my feelings exactly.)

Well…I received my first week’s schedule of my new job…and…it doesn’t adhere to my availability at all. I made it clear in my availability sheet what days I could work, and why I couldn’t work the days I’m not. I have other jobs and obligations to attend to that were scheduled before being called in to this place for an interview.

I’m going in on Monday to see if I can sort it out. Hopefully I can get back on the right track. If not, I have to walk away from it. Once again, another rug has been ripped out from under my feet. I don’t think my heart can take much more of this.

Rest

(Source: Facebook.)

Earlier this month, I read my March horoscope. The advice that was given:

Take as many naps as possible this month. You are going to need it.

I found it hilarious that a horoscope would give me this advice, but you know what? I do need it.

Tomorrow is the first day of training at my new job. I also have a private pole dance lesson to teach that night. On Friday, I have a modeling gig and later, I need to be at Wilmington Drama League to work their lights again. Pretty much for the rest of March, I’m going to be running between three jobs, a community theatre gig, a modeling gig, and a podcast interview.

I’m going to take a nap right now. ✌🏽

I Got a Job!

(Source: Fresh Prince of Bel Air NBC.)

After weeks of searching, I finally landed a job. I’m really super happy about it too since it’s close to home and I will earn money right away. I’m still gunning for the film festival job since that can be worked on the weekend; as well as possibly working my old gig at the independent movie theatre (also close to home).

The shifts are during the day, so my pole teaching gig is safe. I may have days free to work production gigs too! However, that will be on be back burner until I get my union dues paid.

While I’m on the subject about union dues, this is what this new job will help me pay for and hopefully with speed. Not saying I’m going to make thousands of dollars right away, but it’s possible to get a nice head start.

I have a lot of monetary goals and it’s fantastic to have another supplemental income while working on my career. This is so exciting.