Why Am I Here?


It’s the big question I ask myself everyday. Before I move any further, let me start by saying that until almost 2 years ago…I had NO intention of being an actress. This was a field that seemed very foreign to me. I never thought of it as a real career path even though I enjoy performing. Even the way in which I got here is nothing short of crazy. 

It started with me getting laid off of my job.

I worked a desk gig for a brief time. The job was cool because I was working with one of my best friends (who is still one of my best friends today), however it was incredibly stressful. I used to break out in hives. I gained close to 100 lbs. My hair would fall out and I was exhausted all of the time. When I got laid off, it was a scary moment. We are all one paycheck away from poverty and I was no exception. Shortly after I started collecting unemployment but the requirement for me to collect my weekly check was to attend a weekly class on how to find work again. I was was already actively seeking employment and was very successful in the past but still, I had to take this class. 🙄

One of the classes was exploring other career options and they handed us a booklet filled with other jobs viewed by the Department of Unemployment as viable options. Acting was one of them. That was my first introduction to this field but it wasn’t until a short time later when unemployment was running out, my new survival job still wasn’t catching me up on my bills, homelessness was imminent,  that I went back to something I did prior. Promotional Modeling.

It wasn’t easy to start with. The last job I had worked was well over a decade ago and none of my photos were recent. I ended up going back to the agency I started with to get photos and to get work. That is when I was encouraged to add acting to my resume and be able to pick up more work. Since that time 2 years ago along with a series of incredibly adversarial events (I did end up homeless for a brief time) and some small victories (I have a survival income coming in) I managed to carve out a tiny career for myself. I know over time my craft and my resume will get better as long as I keep plugging away at it. I still ask myself why am I here and I have the answer too, because nothing else fit me.

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