Earlier today, I attended my former boss’ memorial service. One statement that stood out to me was when one of the speakers said “No man is an island. He (my former boss) wanted to be a helping hand in the community.” I love that philosophy and it is one that I want to stick to. Recently I have had the experience of dealing with “help” which is the opposite of helping and making a positive influence. This is the more of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” type of help and I have very little tolerance for it. It smells of a savior complex to me. (I’m not coining that word by the way.)
A savior complex in my own definition would be described as someone who helps another, laced with ulterior motives. What would be an ulterior motive? It could be a couple of things like “I helped you, now you owe me a favor whether you like it or not.” Or they could get some weird bragging right out of it. (See meme above.)
Personally I’m not a fan. Which is often why I very seldom ask for help unless it is dire. I’ve accepted help in the past that was genuine and because I was blessed, I was able to either pay it forward or pay it back happily.