Fashion Week and Personal Grief

Before you get confused about the the meme, let me tell you that I am excited to be a part of Fashion Week. It just also happens to be the week that I’m going through the most stress and grief. At this time it’s best not for me to really open up as to why I’m blue. What I can talk about is how to maintain the “mask” of happiness and energy needed to make it through the job.

The best thing not to do is to lie to yourself or other when saying “everything is fine” when it’s not. That will lead to a public breakdown of the worst kind (this has happened to me.) Nor are you in an environment or platform to really explain what is going on in your life.

(Seriously, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable.)

So what do you do? First, do your best to avoid chatter about your personal life and keep the discussion very surface. (Ex. talking about upcoming projects, talk about the weather, talk about other things within your profession. Never politics.) If someone asks you how you are, instead of saying “good” I usually say “I can’t complain.” (Sounds weird but this actually works. I learned it from an old customer at a previous job.) If the person is really probing to find out how you are or they can tell something is off, be partially honest. “I’m not well, but I don’t want to discuss it.” They usually are very respectful and will respond with “Well, I’m here if you need me.” And that way they give you the space you need without being intrusive on your boundaries and no tears. If they are really pressing the issue, I hate to say it but they are an asshole. Stop talking to those people and walk away. They thrive off of causing you pain and drama. After that, find a way to channel the pain into your work. Since I’m walking in a fashion show  I will make my walk really strong.

I know this was really personal, but it’s relevant and I hope it helps.

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