Remember me telling you about the guy that I was in love with and broke my heart? Who suddenly reached out to me out of the blue a couple of months ago? Well he reached out to me again over the past few days on one of my social media sites to see how I was. And now because of that, I’m in a poor mood today.
No, I’m not going back to him. No, he is not making any attempt to try and date me either. Besides, he lives too far away as it is and I’m not interested in any long distance relationships. What I do think is happening, is that this is an unhealed situation that is brimming back to the surface. How do I know that, well I like to think that God leaves clues and the big one left for me was in the form of a video I watched the other day. It talked about how we treat unrequited love as something romantic when in fact it is absolute torture. In the past I have hoped and prayed that this guy would come to his senses. That somehow he would catch on that I’m the perfect woman for him, but that didn’t happen. I was too blinded by his potential instead of who he actually was to see why this wouldn’t work. He was in the military. He lived abroad in Africa for a bit and worked in the local communities. He was well read and had proper manners. He was clean cut and carried himself well. Worked with charities…but…He is a womanizer. Because of this, he was sexist. He would blatantly tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me and yet would still say that I the one he wants (I was foolish to go along with that and that was my fault for not establishing that boundary.) He wasn’t a good man even though he tried to portray himself as a good man to the public eye. And I fell for it.
So because of this, I think it’s best if I don’t date at all. There was someone like him afterward that I liked briefly, but yet again, he was too much like the unrequited love guy.
This is a lonely path, but it’s the only way I feel. There was a time when I really wanted to be in love and be married, but love just causes too much pain. But I’m grateful to have gotten to this point and know that this is a very toxic situation that I never want to get into again. Love just isn’t meant for everyone, like me.