Bullying is not ok

I didn’t have much to write about today, but I wanted to reblog a very important post.

Jenny Rieu

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” I was at my most vulnerable, but I decided to make the most of that experience and had a blast. “

So last night I was cyber-bullied by a very insecure  young girl. I responded back by calling her out on all of my social media handles. And the amount of support and love I have received back was mind-blowing. I do what I do because I enjoy it and I grow from it. Growing up I have always wanted to be an Actress/Singer and Model, that was always my dream. After pursuing acting and singing for a while, I found my way into the pin-up community upon moving from New York to LA back in 2010. From that I produced my own cabaret show and started my professional modeling career back in 2014, when I modeled for Pinup Girl Clothing and their ” Couture for Everybody Campaign “…

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Finally Some Good News!

I booked background on a show my grandma loves to watch. But that’s not the good news: the good news is I will be working 4 days on this show which means MONEY!!! 💵💵💵

(Source: Pinterest)

I put in for the job in the first place because of my grandma. Even though I have worked on other shows, the shows themselves could not hold her interest, even though she wanted to see me. With a show she loves and such a big scene (they added the fourth date for me today) it would be impossible for her not to watch!

Still, I remain cautious. I’ve been booked on jobs that kind of ripped the rug out from under my feet and said they didn’t need me anymore. So I’m not getting my hopes up too far until I’m actually on set. It sucks to fly by the seat of my pants.

Journaling

There is a lot going on in this world right now, as well as in my personal life. Like I detailed before, much of it I was advised not to talk about on this blog. Because of that advice, I'm keeping it all within a journal. Not hard since I already keep one for work. The sad thing is, looking at my words written down reflects how truly low and angry I feel. I'm beginning to see where hate stems from: inadequacy and broken dreams.

Watch @M2M Art of Style: Georgia O’Keeffe

Georgia O’Keeffe’s personal aesthetic influenced every aspect of her life from her work to her living environments to her clothes. Travel from her New Mexico ranch to the Brooklyn Museum’s landmark exhibition in this new “Art of Style” episode by Lisa Immordino Vreeland.

The Background Actress’s Guide to Costuming


(Circa: Late July 2017 on the set of "Isn't It Romantic?")

Originally I had pitched this idea to Racked.com as a contributing writer. However they declined because they had articles of a similar nature. I was going to pass on writing this for my own blog. However, the store that I purchased the above cocktail dress from is hiring, so now this essay has become relevant.

Where to start? The beauty about working a background scene is that they give you a list of examples of how you need to dress for the scene. Like:

Gucci
Zara
Tory Burch
Prada
Etc.

They will also give you visual examples of cuts and fabric, plus what tones they need you to wear. Much of this depends on the scene you are shooting too. If you are playing a lawyer, obviously you would be expected to wear a suit of some kind. Playing a hipster would require a different wardrobe and so on and so forth. If they give you specific brand names as the type of look they are going for, it would behoove you to do some research. The best place for this is Instagram, with the next being Pinterest. Look at how your favorite celebrities dress and that will help you.

The roles I typically get picked for require me to be a wealthy, socialite type. Think Hillary from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:


(Source: IMDB.com)

When you're in my position of very little money and expected to look rich; what do you do?

This is where my friend the consignment store comes to play! The gold dress I'm wearing above is from a higher end retail chain. It's original price is closer to, if not above, $100. Yet I only paid $16 for the dress and an additional $20 for all of the jewelry. (The purse I received as a gift and the shoes were on loan from the wardrobe department, since my original pair were considered to be too shiny.)

The next thing you need to do is to bring options. Yes, I bought and used this dress specifically for this shoot. However, if the director's vision for this scene has changed in any way, it is as simple as changing into a different outfit.

A warning though: if you only brought one option this will force the wardrobe department to loan out an outfit and take your pay voucher (and maybe your driver's license too) for safe keeping until it's returned. This also means that you have to be extremely careful with the clothes (which you should anyway whether it's yours or theirs) and make sure you don't cause damage of any kind. (Or that could affect your pay or chances of being hired for other shoots in the future. One of the shoots I did, an actor walked out with a suit that was loaned to them. Needless to say that person didn't get paid and is more than likely not working for that agency ever again.)

A few other things I keep on me for the shoot as well:

A jacket or hoodie (for when it gets cold.)

A luggage lock (so no one tries to break into your bag.)

Lotion that absorbs well. (So it doesn't damage the clothes.)

A stain removal pen.

Deodorant that dries clear.

A robe or some kind of covering you can wear while eating or applying makeup.

A couple of other things I would add would be:

1) never bring real jewelry to a set. There was an unfortunate instance of an actress that brought real gold bracelets to the set and lost them, only to never find them again. Even if you get camera time, no one is going to know the difference; so keep it fake at all costs.

2) don't wear anything with a very distinct pattern or logo. Production crews do a magic trick what's called "cheating the shot." Meaning to make a scene look like it has more people than there really are hired on set. They do this in many different ways, by adding an accessory, or changing your hair or putting you in deep background. This means more camera time for you, so help them out!

I hoped you liked this essay as much as I liked writing it. I also hope I get the job at this particular consignment store since I do get a lot of my clothes from there. Fingers Crossed 🤞

IKEA


(Source: Greg Mania on Twitter.)

The new IKEA catalog came out and I received it in the mail yesterday. It's a little bittersweet especially since I'm no longer moving to Ireland. What I like about it is that it gets the wheels turning in my head. What would my future home look like and where will it be? I already know from having cleaned large mansions that I really want something small and modest. This is funny since it goes against my zodiac of Taurus, who lives for luxury and having many expensive things to brag about.

But…I was recently very poor and at one point: homeless, so having the largest and most expensively filled home is not on my priority list. I'd rather have that money in my pocket for emergencies, the occasional splurge every now and then, and the freedom of time. As much as I like to work, I don't want to work so much to maintain my home that I don't get to enjoy living in it. My first priority is to move out from where I am right now. (Probably to Philadelphia.) Next will be to furnish my home. (IKEA!) After that, lots and lots of gigs mixed with couch potato time.

Keeping to Myself

Yesterday I was scheduled to work a gig at an event that would have paid me a little bit of money. The company ended up not needing me, which added to the list of lost gigs that I had this summer. Me, trying to be transparent, posted about my lost gig on my regular social media site. Some people misinterpreted as me quitting acting for good, even though I said I'm not but taking a different approach. Needless to say I got a little frustrated and made another post to clarify the situation which led me to getting a text from a friend of mine with some advice.

Basically he told me that I have such a huge support system now and everyone wants to help, although he admits it may not be the help that I'm looking for. So I have to tread carefully from here on out and not get frustrated with them. He's right. However it puts me in a very awkward position as I feel that now I can't be transparent anymore. I may have to flat out lie about my life being sunshine and rainbows when it's really not.

So it pains me to say this, but now all of my social media, including this blog, is not going to have as many updates unless it's good news. I don't think I'm a fashion influencer with the M2M network anymore (I emailed them to see if I was doing enough but got no response) but I think I will post more fillers from them. Also get back to writing my story prompts since I have to flesh out a story around the theme and vocabulary they give me.

This seems extreme, but there is good reason for it. I've already lost two friends from misunderstanding and I really don't have it in me to lose more.

I’m Choosing Not to Date

A guy that I flat out told that I'm not going to date, messaged me today to "check on me." I sound like a horrible person writing about my annoyance of this; but I want to clarify that I, have a really bad pattern of attracting or dating men who don't really care about me. What does this mean? Doesn't that guy care enough to check on you? The answer is no. What he's really doing is checking to see if I changed my mind about not dating him and that is what bothers me.

It's becoming increasingly difficult to find a guy that is genuine. Especially now that I am an actress and a model. Something about being in this career field is appealing to men. Much of it, I'm sure has to do with bragging rights. Who doesn't want to date a model/actress? The issue here is that it violates a rule that I have…the 23:6 rule.

I adopted this rule from a friend of mine. We discussed (over many shots of whiskey and after my awful heartbreak) why I should really hold out and be selfish about what I really want in a guy. This is what he told me:

For at least 1 hour every day and 1 day every week, the person you are dating will consider you to be the most ideal. Be it your looks, your job, your income status, your personality. But what about those other 23 hours of the day and those other 6 days of the week? The time when you are not so loveable? The time when that job you have takes more time than you can spend with him? When you gain weight? When money is really tight? When you're having a bad day and you need time to recuperate? If he can't love you at the worst time in your life, he is not permitted to love you at your best time.

My friend is so right. I apply this rule with every man that I meet now. Especially if he gives indication that I am only going to be a convenience, and not a priority to him.

It May Be a Good Thing

My relative and I reached out to officials at my school to discuss the issues of my funding to see if there was anything I can do or not. One thing I'm starting to notice is that there is more than one chain of command and I don't think everyone is communicating with each other.

I received an email today from a different official about something that I addressed last week with an official I'm working with and it was CC'ed with that person. So I replied and received an automatic response, which means they didn't read what I wrote.

This is not to bash the school, because they are doing what they can with what they have. My concern is that if I have to jump through this many hoops to convey the same message, this just may not be the school for me. It's a little upsetting since my relative works for this school and their name and my name is attached. (I feel that I'm making them look really bad.)

So now I'm looking at alternatives for training. I really had my heart set on moving to Dublin and that may still happen but with a different school. I have 2 options I can do now:

The Gaiety School of Acting, which is where Colin Farrell and Olivia Wilde attended.

The Lir National Academy of Dramatic Art in Trinity College; whose courses were developed by the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, England.

Both are very fine schools. Applications and auditions for The Lir happen in October so I will have to move very quickly on this. The next thing is to pick up a regular job and store all of the cash that I can to hustle my butt over there.

Industrial Epiphany


(Circa July 2017. On site of the commercial for MD Anderson Cooper Cancer Center.)

If you saw my Instagram post (which is featured on the bottom of this site) you would have seen that I took a walk this afternoon. I was severely depressed and I wanted to clear my head. After taking that walk I went to Starbucks and saw my friend Gail from Reedy Point. She asked me about the shenanigans that happened on Saturday. She also talked about industrial shoots and gave me a new casting agency to check out. During that conversation, I realized that I made more money doing industrial type work than anything I have ever done for tv and film as an extra. Even if I don't have lines, I have a featured part or the production company has a better budget.

The shoot I participated in where the photo above was taken, only took about 4 hours to shoot and I made double what I did working 14 hours on a national television show or major film. So I think I have found my niche.

I would still love speaking parts, but more than likely that would be from live theatre. I submitted myself to several things after I got back home that either were related to medical, industrial, or commercial. We'll see who calls me back.