The Follow Up

(Source: Facebook)

I went for the interview, and got hired as I expected that I would. One glaring problem was the schedule. Because I have worked for this company before, I knew that there would already be pre-set schedules with mandatory overtime. The goal was to work Thursday-Sunday, overnight, with mandatory overtime on Monday. That schedule does exist but that order was already filled. Instead, they only had daytime hours with that schedule.

The reason I decided against it was because I wanted to add hours and money to the two jobs I have now. Taking the day shift would have required me to quit my current highest paying job, and would have only added a little bit of additional monies to what I make now. It would not provide me the dramatic financial improvement that I was looking for. With that said I’m still looking and applied to a few more job openings today. I’m also buckling down on applying to all of the background jobs I can find.

My family is upset with me that I turned it down and now I feel guilty. There will be lots of side eye in my direction from now until Christmas; unless I find something soon, and then their mood will change. If you’re wondering if they benefit from me taking this job: the answer is no. They are concerned with me not having much money to work with, especially with the upcoming sale of the building.

Going Back To The Company That Broke Me…

(Source: Facebook.)

Money is tight. Even though I have two jobs right now, it’s still not enough money. It also means putting all of my Acting stuff on hold, including trying to earn my last SAG waiver.

This won’t be for long as it is only a seasonal position, but this company is the one that laid me off unceremoniously when I worked at a higher position for them (and launched me into my acting career in the first place.) They are also very indirect with people and will send your calls to voicemail only. Needless to say, I’m wary.

However, with everything going on I need to make the most money possible and they pay well. I’m biting the bullet on this one.

Going Through Some Things

(Source: Facebook.)

I would sound like a broken record if I list off what I’m going through right now. In an effort not to bore you I won’t write about that. What I will say is that it is affecting me and making me really depressed. I’m putting in the work and praying for a breakthrough. It’s a lost time right now.

The Obligatory Blog Posting

(Source: Pinterest. GO MEGHAN!!)

Hey guys! I hope your holiday was well. Mine was good. I ate well, worked over the weekend, caught a little stomach bug, had an existential crisis, found out that there will be another princess….

WAIT, WHAT?!

As you very well know, if you’ve been following this blog, I do try as hard as possible to avoid celebrity news. However this was unavoidable and I’m ok with it; I’ll tell you why:

(Source: Pinterest, photo by Howell Corant 1955.)

This was MY princess for most of my life. No, I’m not from Monaco. I’m from the United States of America. I was born in Washington D.C. but my parents didn’t stay too long after my birth. We moved to my mom’s birthplace where my great-grandmother (whom I lovingly called Nana) lived: Wilmington, DE. This is where I stayed for the better part of my life and the closest major city to me, Philadelphia, is only a short drive away. The significance of this, is that Princess Grace was born and raised in Philadelphia. Clearly it’s a big thing here, but most importantly for me, it’s the fact that someone from my area became a princess. (Though I know being born into a wealthy family, and an Oscar winning actress probably helped.)

I now have a new princess (I know that wouldn’t be her official title, but bear with me I’m from a republic) and this one makes me happy for so many reasons. 1) Like myself, she is interracial. Just like I got excited for seeing and voting someone like myself to be president; I’m so happy to see royalty like myself too. 2) This is not any sort of a forced or rushed relationship. You can see that they are clearly in love. 3) Their relationship wouldn’t have worked 10, 20, 30 years ago because of her prior marriage, country of origin, and even race! The general public is scandalized now, but they would have called for her head a decade ago. I’m so happy of the progression of the general public, and their acknowledgement that love is love. 4) Let’s talk about the interview that they filmed today and the points that stood out to me, that I had wished for in my own relationship:

• One of the things that Princess Meghan (yes, it’s Princess Meghan now dammit!) said that I love and should be the standard across the board: when talking about how she was set up on a date with Prince Harry, her question was “But is he nice? Because if he isn’t, this won’t work.” Obviously this should be applied to everyone you meet in general, but I have noticed (and committed this crime in the past) of people getting caught up in the status of another person whether they are famous or not. It’s the problem I had with the guy who broke my heart, I got too wrapped up in how he appeared to the outside world to really pay attention to who he was as a person. I’m never doing that again.

•They constantly acknowledged themselves as a team. She knows what she is getting into as far as being married into the royal family. More so than that, they said this is going to be a process they are going to have to work together on and take it one day at a time. It’s not just the fame or the royal status, but their marriage, and possibly a family too. Teamwork and choosing each other every day is what will keep them together happily.

•They did quiet dates out of the public eye and spent more time at home. God bless them. Not saying that going out isn’t fun every once in a while, but it can be exhausting even for non-famous people like myself. It’s awkward to get to know someone and have deep conversations when you have people sitting at a table next to you possibly being nosy. They said that quiet time was a blessing as they really got to know each other. Plus I’m sure the food was better, you can drink as much as you want without driving home, and they probably saved a lot of money. (Not saying they have to worry about that.)

•As I said before, they genuinely loved each other and you could see it. No one was in a rush to get married even though it happened quickly. Since they took more time to get to know each other, their love occurred more organically. Also, Prince Harry knew she was the one the moment he first met her. When it’s right you just know.

Since I have no one, not even a crush, I’m going to live vicariously through Princess Meghan. Especially since they made goals for themselves that I wanted for myself if I ever got married. I wish them the best and I will be live-streaming this wedding.

I Failed NaNoWriMo

(Source: Tumblr.)

I just couldn’t get it together at all. I had a couple of chapters written for two different stories, but nothing consistent. They will go as promised: in the garbage. For now, the short story prompt that sits as a blog entry from last year remains as is. Maybe I’ll add another short story prompt to it later.

So I May Be Homeless Again 🙃🙃🙃

(Source: Pinterest.)

And unlike before, where I could not afford to live in my previous home anymore, this would be no fault of my own. The building is up for a sheriff’s sale.

Currently I’ve been doing some research to find out if it is possible to be booted out so soon, if at all, and what are our rights as tenants. I’m also going a step further to see if maybe I can be a bidder at this auction and what do I need to do for that. The current landlord does have a little bit of time to save their investment before it becomes a disaster. However, they can be very neglectful when it comes to maintaining the property to begin with, so I have very little faith they will take action of any sort. I don’t have much liquid cash so making such a large investment like this is a bit out of my league.

My biggest concern is less about me being homeless again, but about the other tenants. I don’t care too much for my new upstairs neighbor, but they are new. Are they going to be able to afford to move so soon? The remaining tenants in the building are older so I don’t know if they really have another place to go.

Another issue I have is with the city itself. The way that they are dealing with crime and real estate here, is to gentrify the neighborhood instead of investing in the already existing neighborhoods to eliminate poverty (which is the main factor with high crime.) We have a 66% African American population right now (mostly lower income) and they could be easily pushed out of the city for wealthier individuals who may not be of a minority population. The tenants in my building specifically, including myself and my mom (not my dad) are African American. I would like to see more property ownership from Black community who actually live here.

My family doesn’t seem to be as bothered by this as I am, which is a shame. They hold too much trust in our landlord and are too comfortable to do anything about it (then again, I’m not surprised.) All I can do at the moment is to wait until Monday to make calls and ask questions. Until then I’m packing and preparing for the inevitable.

Everybody is Cancelled

(Source: Facebook.)

Honestly, it’s a good thing. So many women and men have been affected for far too long. Sexual and emotional trauma is real. Shame is a burden we carry. We all have skeletons whether we are the perpetrators or the victims. Hurt people, hurt people.

A little while back I also included my name into the #MeToo campaign, because I too have been a victim of sexual harassment and assault. However, I’m going to take this time to see where I was complicit.

No, I never assaulted anyone, but there were definitely times when I thought “was this person asking for it with their behavior?” Or “why did they take so long to come forward?”

Two statements I’m very guilty of. But I know from hearing the stories of the other victims; and how they mirror my own, that those are statements that are no longer part my my language. I also acknowledge that with my own internalized pain it could have been a way of lashing out. For that I’m sorry. It’s not right and there’s no way to truly atone for my contempt of others who were hurt.

The Prettiest Potato 🥔

(Circa last night at my new job.)

The poles at the new studio I work at are 13 feet tall. Climbing to such heights used to be easy for me, now I’m only able to climb half the way. I also took this photo and videoed myself getting back into a good practice, when I noticed that I’m pretty much a potato version of myself. Not to be mean, but I miss my old body. I have been this weight before, but with significantly more strength and muscle tone. At least I’m dancing in heels again!

(Source: Just Girl Things IG and MemeCenter.com)

Anyway, here are the two videos I promised from last weeks class and last night in all of my potato glory. Enjoy.

(Last week)

(Last night)

Saturday Night Live

(Source: Facebook.)

Back in September, I was given the opportunity to be placed on the roster for Background work on SNL. I signed up and started receiving weekly emails asking for availability. Until this coming weekend, I have not had any sort of open availability; but I’m glad. I really didn’t have a solid income coming in so it would have been hard to spend that much time in New York with limited funds. Also I’m hoping that they do pick me for November, because once December gets here, it’s a no-go. We shall see.

Neighbors pt. 2

(Source: Grumpy Cat Facebook.)

Update, my hell neighbor from next door moved out. My very loud downstairs neighbors moved out as well. Our building had about half a month of peace with the cool neighbors before we had a new person move in.

I’m not exactly sure if he is a prostitute or filming a porno, but the sexual activity in the apartment above me is loud and really uncomfortable.

(Source: Facebook.)

Of course I could just be bitter because I have been celibate for a few years now. And, of course, it’s “cuffing season” so everyone is trying to find a mate so they won’t be lonely for the holidays. Still, it’s annoying and painful. I really need to move out.