Exploiting Pain For Personal Gain

(Source: Family Guy, FOX)

I’ve been off and on on social media today (mostly Twitter), when I saw the revelation of the young boy who was bullied. His mom has participated in racism (according to many news tweets), as well as the young boy himself may have perpetrated the violence against him by saying a racial slur. I have some thoughts about this, that I feel need to be addressed.

One: the kid’s behavior is a product of their parents. If the accusations are true, this kid needs to learn quickly that his behavior is not ok; that it is still not ok to be bullied, but it is not ok to bully either. Two: the kid’s mother is indulging in the rewards for her child’s pain, and that is seriously NOT ok. I can truly say that I’m empathetic enough to tune into a person’s vibe. This kid was genuinely upset, however, his mother did not give a good vibe which is why I didn’t jump on the bandwagon of support right away.

After all that was said and done there are many people right now with egg on their face, because they may have inadvertently sided with a white supremacist. For me this is the most troubling part…much like this entire year, we are normalizing white supremacy. We reward it, and give it the benefit of the doubt. It’s also painful because I do know that he’s just a kid that is caught up in it; and could learn that the black community is a supportive community. Therefore he could break the cycle of hate in his family. My hopes are not high though.

Additionally (what really triggers me about this situation) is the possible lack of repercussions for their actions. I call this a personal trigger because it is one that I have faced my entire life. I’ll mainly focus on my former friend whom I called a snake (even though I have other people in my life like this.) She had some genuine traumatic events her life, yet would behave badly the rest of the time and cause pain to others. She managed to get away with her actions by beating everyone over the head with the guilt of the trauma, so she would get a pass (and cause more trauma to others.) I eventually had to break the cycle by cutting her off and not speaking to her, because it was an un-winnable situation. She got coddled and praised for her evil, very much like this kid’s family and other white supremacists.

I’m curious to see after this revelation, how it’s all going to play out. Do the people rescind their gifts and support; or do they try to change the kid’s and his mother’s mind? I don’t have a solution, but I wanted to put my observations out there for people to see the red flags and figure out the right way to handle this.

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