(Photo taken today. Filter courtesy of Instagram.)
I have things going on, and yet I don’t have things going on. On the positive side:
• I got booked to work Tribeca Film Festival this year.
• I got a mentor to help me with my voiceover portfolio.
• I have two jobs at the pole studio and the movie theatre.
On the downside though:
• I haven’t been doing much performing.
Much of my depression, I believe, comes from the fact that I don’t feel like I’m doing enough; even though I’m doing plenty.
There are a couple of things coming up that I’m going to try to dip my toes into. First and foremost: Saturday Night Live has this Saturday and next where they will air an episode. I applied for this weekend, but if they don’t take me this weekend, I’ll definitely apply next weekend since I’m already going to be in NYC for Tribeca’s orientation. Also the community theatre in NJ (that I had the amazing ‘As You Like It’ audition, even though I didn’t get picked) is holding auditions for ‘Twelfth Night’. Which is funny, because I bombed the last ‘TN’ audition with Shakespeare in Clark Park, Philadelphia. Maybe I’m just supposed to try again with a different group. It would be earlier in the Summer, which is good, and in a very hip little town in Jersey. The only conflict is transportation, but I will figure something out.
Ultimately, I need to get out of this rut. Especially since it appears that most of my friends are working on various projects and shows (like Creed 2, which surprise, surprise…I didn’t get picked again 😏.) I don’t want to get into that jealous phase where I’m judging myself by another person’s highlight reel; so I really need to do something of my own soon. Even if the part is tiny, I don’t care. I want to be productive.