Actually I’m drinking Gin & Tonic. I’ll save the whiskey for a celebratory evening. Today I found out that my schedule is wrong AGAIN. Apparently I’m missing a class in the music (I have a ton of music classes for some reason) module of my program and if I don’t take this class, then I’m basically failing school…..
I want to scream.
I literally had an appointment this past Friday to fix my schedule and to make sure I’m taking the right courses and NO ONE told me this. But now I find out today when I can’t meet the head of my program again until Friday which will put me practically a month behind in that specific class. Not to mention I’ve already been added to two new classes this week, totaling my course schedule to 10 classes.
I wouldn’t have bothered adding an elective in order to take that required class but the heads of the program pushed us to take it. Then come to find out that I also might not be officially registered for the elective I’m taking even though EVERYONE is aware that I’m taking it!
I’m busting out the conspiracy meme, because I think they want me to fail out of this program. I’m the only person in my school with a full ride in this school, which came by way of the previous school president who is now retired. They make no money off of me being there, so I feel they’re doing the absolute most to push me out. At this point: I’m currently homeless (even though I have shelter) and unemployed (though I do have money and payments coming in from previous gigs); failing school is just the icing on the fucking cake.
I was so angry today that I went to the other theatre school I’ve previously mentioned on here where Olivia Wilde, Colin Farrell, and Aidan Turner trained. I signed up for a free class audit this Friday. If I switch schools I wouldn’t be able to start until next year because the new application cycle starts in October. However I just want to see if this will be a better place for me. Worse comes to worse, I go back home and apply for one of the acting programs in New York or go to Temple University in Philadelphia like many of my theatre peers did. I’m going to graduate from a theatre school come hell or high water.
I have thoughts…
•Things are still insanely hectic at this school and I’m trying to get some semblance of a schedule in order entering into Week 3. I’m hoping and praying for a better week.
•Housing is absolutely abysmal here and a staggering number of homelessness and protests to get the landlords not to jack up rent so high. I don’t blame the locals. It doesn’t seem sustainable and they will probably have another economic crash if it continues on this track. So I’m still in a hostel situation until I can find a place. IF I can.
•The maturity level of
the first year students some of my classmates is left to be desired and learning time is often disrupted. I and the other American transfer students in my group are desperately trying to maintain our patience, but it’s slipping for sure.
I didn’t mention this before but I’m currently enrolled as a Third Year student, which means this may be my only year at this school! It was on the basis of my age and my current resume which was accepted as provisional learning credit. That means my education will be expedited and I will earn a Bachelors Degree in a much shorter time. This will allow me to return home quickly and continue to work as I have previously, with more preparation under my belt and a few more training credits on my resume. Plus an actual degree so I can make $15 an hour instead of $11 at a survival job (yay 🙄).
It’s a lovely city and I usually don’t get homesick but I kind of am, and I don’t like being in a situation where I don’t have a steady job or a place to live. We’ll see if this works otherwise I may have to ship off back home (due to immigration laws not because of the school).
I know the meme I’m including above has a sour face, but I promise it’s not in relation to the Entertainment or Fashion industry being more inclusive in general. The face is directed towards people begging certain outlets to be more inclusive where as they have historically shown themselves not to be. Primarily the Victoria’s Secret fashion show and The Academy Awards (even though they are making an attempt.)
I read an article from Teen Vogue about Rihanna’s SavageXFenty runway show last week. The headline said “it was everything that Victoria’s Secret runway show should be.” My question is why? They don’t even make inclusive sizes for women like myself. Plus the quality of the garments is so crappy, that I would prefer if this company just fades away into obscurity. (I used to work there so I know.)
We need to stop asking for a seat at the table where we are not wanted. Instead pour as much money into companies who do celebrate us, like SavageXFenty, to make bigger and better shows with dazzling collections year after year.
Ok dammit, I guess I can’t stay away. I NEED to journal this.
So, today was my first class and well…it was somewhat frustrating, but I guess the first day of school is always frustrating. There’s still a lot of issues, confusion, and concern in regards to my major, but that’s beside point of this blog post.
Today we did a review of the Meisner repeat technique. Something I’m familiar with since I began training in Meisner back in 2015. The point of this technique is to break down any tension and barriers between the actors to find truthful moments. In essence it helps the actors deliver the text they’re given more realistically without over acting, or forcing oneself to dredge up past traumas for realistic emotions. We start by making simple observations first: noticing eye color or what shirt a person is wearing and we make a statement.
“You’re eyes are blue.”
Then the actor sitting opposite responds by repeating the statement
“My eyes are blue.”
From there we dig deeper and try to identify discomfort, or further details about the physical things that we see. What we can’t do is make a judgment. I can’t say “you’re wearing an ugly shirt” as opposed to saying “your shirt has lots of colors in it.”
Once we reach the the advanced stage, we begin by sitting in silence, make an observation, repeat the observation, and sit in silence once again. There’s also a balance of power that comes into play, meaning one person can’t make all the observations while the other repeats. The partner I had seemed to struggle with making observations, which is how we ended up in a staring contest much like the GIF I used above. After we finished the exercise, our professor asked why we reached a stalemate? My partner responded by saying he had so much to say but not sure how to phrase it. Um, ok. I’m going to pass it off as him being young and unfamiliar with the brutal honesty that comes with this practice, and his politeness was kicking in.
Now I’m left wondering what was on his mind
Ok, ok. One more post before going off the grid for a bit.
Currently I’m writing this post from a coffee shop in City Centre Dublin. My flight landed in Dublin Airport at the buttcrack-of-dawn this morning. The airplane seating was a little tight. I know good and well that paying economy prices usually means less than favorable seating with domestic flights; however, I was quite surprised that my international flight was the same way. Previously I have flown to England and Japan with a little wiggle room, so I expecting the same with this flight. There were still in-flight films provided and it gave me a chance to rewatch ‘Black Panther’ and ‘Avengers: Infinity War.’ It took up most of my flight time which was great.
Once I arrived, I called my mom to let her know that I arrived safely. After that, I had to get approved for student status at the immigration booth. Super easy process.
The real panic came when one of my bags did not arrive in baggage claim. Of course it’s the one bag with all of my underwear and my coat in it (SMH). I started to get nervous. I went to baggage claim only to find a long line with other passengers from my same flight. The employees knew something was up and asked the people doing the unloading of the bags if they possibly placed bags from our flight in the wrong receiving bin. That was exactly what happened and we managed to recover our bags. (Thank goodness!)
Once I exited the terminal, it was chilly. A huge difference from the 100 degree hellscape I just left from. Not really a complaint, but more of a shock to the system. From Summer to Winter in a blink of the eye.
I took the shuttle bus from the airport to the area where I’m staying and got a little confused as to which direction I’m supposed to be heading. An older gentleman saw that I looked lost and asked me where I’m going. Once I told him it was easy for him to figure out. He also asked me where I was coming from, I said the United States and the first thing that came out of his mouth was “You didn’t vote for HIM did you?” I chuckled at the fact that no one, myself included, will refer to my country’s awful leader by name. I replied “Absolutely Not!” to which he replied “Good for you!” A great first few hours in Dublin so far. 😂
As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m taking less time on social media, but I will definitely be back to report on the upcoming ‘Hamlet’ production with Ruth Negga.
For now, I’m just killing time until I can check in to my accommodation and take a much needed nap.
(Source: Chappelle Show, Comedy Central.)
A lot has happened over the weekend and unfortunately it left me with a lot of anger and grief. I got into a Twitter argument with someone that I liked and respected and ended up being labeled a horrible human being en masse.
I still stand by my statement because there were no ill intentions on my end. But it reminds me that I have a pattern of dealing with the same type of people when I get into disagreements online. So I figure maybe I’m not great at communicating whether it’s in spoken form or written form.
Because of this, I cleaned up my blog of anything I think could be taken the wrong way. Deleting posts. Cleaning up the language of some. I just noticed not every photo was sourced, so that’s a silver lining. I may change some of the photos too.
It’s not going to completely stop arguments from happening, or people loathing me. However, it is what I need to do to make the moment right.
But I may just go off the grid period. Not only because this was an unwinnable situation, but also due to one of the responses directed at me was super racist. Being misunderstood and not being able to fight back because I’m already written off and would be perceived as “grasping at straws” is aggravating.
Fox News posted a disgusting tabloid tweet about actor Geoffrey Owens (known for working on the Cosby Show) who is currently working at a well known supermarket. They were basically shaming him because he is no longer in the spotlight and works at a service job. The woman who took the picture and posted it for tabloid consumption, deserves THESE HANDS….however, that will be for another day.
Why does this make me so angry? For starters, Fox News, the station who always calls the acting community elitists for speaking out against our current leadership; is acting like elites over a person working in the service industry. Second, working in the service industry is nothing to be ashamed of. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. Do you have to interact with all types of people, including the less than savory ones? Yes. Is it a job that pays your bills and keeps you alive? Yes. Can it be satisfying? Yes. Where is the shame in that?!
People also need to understand that working in the entertainment industry is roughly the equivalent of working a temp job. It’s fleeting. Projects can range from a few seasons, months, weeks, days, or hours. You only work as long as needed and oftentimes there are long bouts of unemployment. If you’re lucky, you can work on a hit tv show like Grey’s Anatomy and hit a huge pay day like Ellen Pompeo, but that is very rare. There has to be income producing activities in the meantime to stay in the black.
No matter where life takes me in this career, even if I were to be suddenly famous, I’m always going to have some sort of gig. Whether it’s my own enterprise or working for a company. I’ve been in poverty. I’ve been homeless. I’ve had to turn down social events because I couldn’t afford it. I’ve had to put off my education due to money. So I’ll be damned if I let myself get back there again.
Fox News needs to disappear forever.