Gown Hunting

(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)

It’s 2018, and that means there are goals to be set. My friend and I made the promise to go to the ball in Harlem this year after missing it last year. I have taken further steps to try to get ahead of the game.

Gown Shopping!!!

(Me circa March 2016.)

The gown featured in the photo above is what I wore to the ball in early 2016. It is pretty. I looked like a mermaid. I paid $10 for it. However, my boobs kept trying to escape the dress all night!

(Me trying to do my best ‘Chappelle’s Show’ Robot Dance Party Guy impression. I nearly fell out of this dress making this video 😂)

This time I’m looking for straps or sleeves since it will still be chilly that time of year. It will also mean having to pay full price too…

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ource: Facebook.)

Ugh. It's ok though, it just means that I really have to elevate my job search into something high paying to afford it. I hope to have pictures soon.

Flexibility Training

(Source: Facebook. This is me 50 years from now.)

Last night my pole studio had an open house. Since I’m staying stateside, I kept my job here and I set some new goals for how I want to teach the class. My main focus this month will be flexibility training. It is much needed for both myself and my students.

The big goal that I have for myself is to get my splits back (regular and Russian on both legs.) I’m also going to do back bends again (people will say it doesn’t really stretch anything; that is until they have to do something that requires a back bend…so they can just shut the hell up.)

I have some moves in mind that I want to do that will keep me motivated:

(Source: Studio Veena and Pinterest.)

(Source: Pinterest.)

(Source: Pinterest.)

Don’t let the bare feet fool you on the first and last photos. Those moves can also be done in heels (which is my intention.)

The pole room is free just before my class begins so I will be doing solo work as well as work with the class. I hope to document my progress.

Upcoming Podcast Interview, and a Blast From The Past

(Source: Urban Dictionary.)

Good news! One of the first bookings I have for the new year is a podcast. An acquaintance of mine launched a new website called Bored in DE, which details all of the interesting happenings in Delaware that doesn’t simply include drinking at the local watering hole or going to the new Italian restaurant around the corner (both of which are fairly common in this state.)

He is also highlighting many of the residents who are getting things done or have interesting careers. Prior to Joe Biden becoming our VP, Delaware was just a tiny speck on the map of the U.S. and well…we still are. It’s the reason why my Twitter account’s location is written as “Delawhere?” No one knows or cares where we are.

(Source: Wayne’s World)

Since I have an interesting career, I was invited along with two other actresses to sit down for a podcast interview that will also have a live broadcast on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine, Sara Jones, was just interviewed on the same podcast for her career in fashion: Anara Original, her blog: Blondie Jones, and her book: The Playbook to Essential Style; it was a great interview.

This isn’t the first time I was interviewed for a podcast. Last year during the summer of 2016, I was interviewed by Slate about my financial struggles. The podcast as far as I know hasn’t been released yet, which makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to share the link on this blog, but no such luck. Which brings me to my next topic on this post:

(Source: Jeffree Star’s Facebook Page.)

I wrote this comment two years ago before it was revealed that Jeffree Star made horrible racist comments which eventually led him to be canceled in my opinion. One of his fans liked my comment and I was half-tempted to delete it as I didn’t want to have any associations with him anymore. However I chose not to for a reason, this was my true story, and someone listened and liked it. I do need to make some corrections though because I had abridged an already long comment and I want everything I write to be consistent.

1) The job that I was living Paycheck to paycheck on was my HR job. I had previously posted how much easier it was to structure paying the bills and saving when working a 9-5 job. This was in fact the job I was referring to and I did save money…in the beginning. It was about a month later, was when I was living paycheck to paycheck after loaning my family money to live and my car kept breaking down. My savings was plundered and I wasn’t able to recover for a while. Hell, even now I’m still on shaky ground.

•I did find a job while I was on unemployment, working part-time at a restaurant. It was great timing too, because my unemployment money ran out not long after that. The only issue, I was making the same as I was on unemployment and I soon became homeless because, like I said, financial recovery took a really long time.

•I really didn’t have anything to lose by becoming an actress. I’m moving quickly for the time I started this career. It takes people up to a decade sometimes to get into SAG and I managed to accomplish it in only 2 years. I’m seriously looking forward to what the new year will bring. One of the projects I want to book begins the 2nd week of January. We’ll see what happens.

Money Management

(Source: Facebook.)

It’s looking like I’m going to stay stateside. I had a conference call with my family yesterday and the money situation is so bad, that I’m not sure I would make it to February. My family would prefer that I still go as they are not happy about my decision (with the exception of my dad, who like me, sees that it is not sustainable.)

I still plan to go to school and I want to start in September of 2018; when the course cycle starts. Until then, there are some things I want to do here to make myself better prepared for success. Besides submitting my paperwork for the union, I also want to take a personal finance course. They offer these for free or low cost in my city.

I figure this would be a benefit to me since I have a hard time managing a varied income. When I worked traditional jobs, I was accustomed to seeing a regular check bi-weekly or weekly. When it was structured like that, it was very easy to stay on top of bills and manage a savings. Things went downhill after I was laid off and had to work jobs and gigs with varied incomes. Working at Starbucks did provide me some structure, but I made so little money that my financial situation was not improving. It’s been a scramble since then.

All of this came about when I watched a video by Marie Forleo. She talked about using her regular income to support her art, as opposed to having her art support her. As a result, she had less stress and was able to build her art/business into something that could actually support her. This is something I really want as I’m tired of struggling.

After Audition Review, Life Assessment and Self-Care

(Source: Someecards.)

As expected, I bombed my audition. I forgot the words to my monologue and my song, and just couldn’t recover. My nerves got the best of me, as well as the feeling of a panic attack coming on. Oh well.

If there was ever a better reason for more training, this is it. My lack of experience showed it’s ass last night. After my horrible audition, I had to go out to work in the snow, to put out real estate signs (the reality of being kind of a loser hit me right there and then.)

(Source: Spongebob Squarepants and Nickelodeon.)

I’m going to have to make some assessments about what I’m doing with my life and work; because even though I’m making some ground, I have to wade through a lot of crap to get there. No, I don’t expect to have things come easy. However, I shouldn’t be left worse off than when I started. A woman I follow by the name of Lux Atl (she’s an awesome lady) on social media asked an open question: how did you grow in 2017? I really didn’t have a good takeaway. Yes, I have had some damn good things happen to me this year; but the steps for me to get there left me angrier, sadder, less trusting, and for the most part…exhausted. I don’t feel like that is a good sign of growth, and trying to practice gratitude under those circumstances makes me feel more guilty that I’m worn out.

(Source: Facebook.)

So where does that leave me right now? Well, I decided to practice some self-care today by going to the Christmas Village in Center City between my work shifts at the Playhouse. I figure if I take in some of the sights and the sounds, I could possibly get into the Christmas spirit. I also may pop by a consignment store too for a pair of new jeans since I’m on my third busted denim casualty of the year.

Getting Ready For My Audition

(Source: Thespian Peacock Tumblr and Pinterest.)

I’m super nervous about tonight. The weather is absolute crap right now and I have to walk through this frozen tundra after I get off the train to get to the audition site. Plus I’ve been practicing my monologue and 30 seconds of a song, it’s just not clicking. I’m still going to go tonight, but it already feels like a wash.

For my monologue, I went with Orlando’s opening monologue in As You Like It. The casting group wanted a monologue from one of Shakespeare’s comedies and I have performed it before. My song is Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen. Both pieces are a total scramble in my mind right now.

I was hoping this would run smoother, but no…

(Source: Facebook and Tyler Perry.)

Back to Work

(Source: Facebook and QuickMeme.com)

One thing that I truly dislike about myself: when I know I have something important to do the next day, I have a hard time sleeping. This makes for a very ragged and long work day. Very much like today.

My dad got a call from his old place of employment, the real estate sign company that my mom and I helped cover for while he was in the hospital. He had to leave his route due to poor health and someone took over. Now that person is overwhelmed and the company asked my dad if I could take over one portion of the route, temporarily, until their new hire comes in. They are thinking about 4 weekends at the most.

Sure.

I needed the extra money anyway and the shift doesn’t interfere with the two jobs I currently have. It means working overnight like I wanted and will improve my financial situation. The only problem is my lack of proper rest. Thankfully my dad is driving with me so I can stay awake.

Some Goals Accomplished ✅

(Source: Facebook.)

Well some good news for today: I managed to accomplish two goals off of my list.

Well, the first one is tentative until I receive my paycheck that reflects my pay. Why, you ask? Because if the pay stub aligns with the voucher I signed off of my shoot earlier this week, it means that I am officially SAG-AFTRA eligible. YAY!!!

Two years and I managed to earn 3 out of 3 background waivers to become union eligible. The dues are high, so it’s nothing I can pay out of pocket right away. However I hope I’m able to join sometime early next year.

The second is paying off a large bill that I had and will save me hundreds in the long run. It was definitely a struggle and there were times that I was definitely behind. I’m hoping for a little financial relief as I try to remedy the current student debt that I have; as well as trying pull money together for school (they’re trying to get me in for the Spring semester), and of course, my union dues. We’ll see how this all works out.

A Background Shoot and An Audition

(Source: Facebook)

It’s been a productive couple of days after the unsuccessful attempt to work at my old company again. I booked another background shoot in Philly on Monday, and an audition in Philly two weeks from now. I don’t want to talk about what project I’m working on this week. Not because they are preventing me or anything (nor would I ever give away any details); but because of the last shoot I did over a month ago, the casting agency dinged me for mentioning that I’m working on the show (I’m taking no chances this time.) What I will say is: this is a very important shoot for me. Once I officially step on set and complete my job, I will talk more on the subject.

The audition, however, I can talk about liberally. It’s Shakepeare in Clark Park, located in West Philly. The audition is in December, but the first rehearsal isn’t until June 19th, 2018. If I get it, I will have plenty of time to truly learn the text and get off book by June. The production is ‘Twelfth Night’ with a bit of a rock n’ roll twist. The info about the audition was forwarded to me by my Stage Combat instructor, who coordinated the fights for Coriolanus this past Summer. They were looking for actor combatants and it piqued my interest. From now until then I will be preparing a monologue and a 30 second rock ballad to perform. I hope to convince the casting team that I’m a better fighter than a singer and to pick me on that alone. Fingers Crossed.

The Follow Up

(Source: Facebook)

I went for the interview, and got hired as I expected that I would. One glaring problem was the schedule. Because I have worked for this company before, I knew that there would already be pre-set schedules with mandatory overtime. The goal was to work Thursday-Sunday, overnight, with mandatory overtime on Monday. That schedule does exist but that order was already filled. Instead, they only had daytime hours with that schedule.

The reason I decided against it was because I wanted to add hours and money to the two jobs I have now. Taking the day shift would have required me to quit my current highest paying job, and would have only added a little bit of additional monies to what I make now. It would not provide me the dramatic financial improvement that I was looking for. With that said I’m still looking and applied to a few more job openings today. I’m also buckling down on applying to all of the background jobs I can find.

My family is upset with me that I turned it down and now I feel guilty. There will be lots of side eye in my direction from now until Christmas; unless I find something soon, and then their mood will change. If you’re wondering if they benefit from me taking this job: the answer is no. They are concerned with me not having much money to work with, especially with the upcoming sale of the building.