(Source: Chappelle Show, Comedy Central.)
A lot has happened over the weekend and unfortunately it left me with a lot of anger and grief. I got into a Twitter argument with someone that I liked and respected and ended up being labeled a horrible human being en masse.
I still stand by my statement because there were no ill intentions on my end. But it reminds me that I have a pattern of dealing with the same type of people when I get into disagreements online. So I figure maybe I’m not great at communicating whether it’s in spoken form or written form.
Because of this, I cleaned up my blog of anything I think could be taken the wrong way. Deleting posts. Cleaning up the language of some. I just noticed not every photo was sourced, so that’s a silver lining. I may change some of the photos too.
It’s not going to completely stop arguments from happening, or people loathing me. However, it is what I need to do to make the moment right.
But I may just go off the grid period. Not only because this was an unwinnable situation, but also due to one of the responses directed at me was super racist. Being misunderstood and not being able to fight back because I’m already written off and would be perceived as “grasping at straws” is aggravating.
Fox News posted a disgusting tabloid tweet about actor Geoffrey Owens (known for working on the Cosby Show) who is currently working at a well known supermarket. They were basically shaming him because he is no longer in the spotlight and works at a service job. The woman who took the picture and posted it for tabloid consumption, deserves THESE HANDS….however, that will be for another day.
Why does this make me so angry? For starters, Fox News, the station who always calls the acting community elitists for speaking out against our current leadership; is acting like elites over a person working in the service industry. Second, working in the service industry is nothing to be ashamed of. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. Do you have to interact with all types of people, including the less than savory ones? Yes. Is it a job that pays your bills and keeps you alive? Yes. Can it be satisfying? Yes. Where is the shame in that?!
People also need to understand that working in the entertainment industry is roughly the equivalent of working a temp job. It’s fleeting. Projects can range from a few seasons, months, weeks, days, or hours. You only work as long as needed and oftentimes there are long bouts of unemployment. If you’re lucky, you can work on a hit tv show like Grey’s Anatomy and hit a huge pay day like Ellen Pompeo, but that is very rare. There has to be income producing activities in the meantime to stay in the black.
No matter where life takes me in this career, even if I were to be suddenly famous, I’m always going to have some sort of gig. Whether it’s my own enterprise or working for a company. I’ve been in poverty. I’ve been homeless. I’ve had to turn down social events because I couldn’t afford it. I’ve had to put off my education due to money. So I’ll be damned if I let myself get back there again.
Fox News needs to disappear forever.
I don’t want to talk too much about yesterday’s mass shooting because it is too sad and too close to home for me being a habitual member of the gaming community. What I do want to talk about is the fragile ego of individual, themselves, who premeditated a mass shooting in the event that they lost.
What the hell?
In a world that’s finally opening up about issues surrounding poor mental health, we still struggle to dive deep into harmful personality disorders. I say harmful because its usually the people around the individual that suffers more loss than the actual individual. Just look at our current leadership for a perfect example.
Where does the breakdown happen? Is it from birth, a traumatic event, or the way someone was raised? Did they never lose in life and now when they feel a minor and/or perceived loss they must react in a murderous rage. This is just a game. People lose. It’s part of the process. You learn, you grow.
So what can we do as a society? The murderer used their loss as the final straw, but it didn’t start there. We would really have to look back and see where the red flags were ignored as well as when the poor behavior was rewarded. We also have to recognize a pattern that many people on social media are violently resisting: the fact that the majority of the mass shooters are male and white. Sorry, not sorry, this is a glaring pattern.
Cruel fate, why do you do this to me?! There is a new movie being shot in Philadelphia that is backed by the Russo Brothers and stars Chadwick Boseman called ’17 Bridges.’ It starts filming late September after I leave for Dublin.
This would have been to closest I’ve ever been to work with people from Marvel (besides Creed 2 and the Wizard World Convention a couple of years ago.) I am sad and will have to live vicariously through my friends who will undoubtedly be working on this project.
Well…two of my three jobs went from certain to uncertain.
Tomorrow, I have a staff meeting at my theatre gig because of a massive management overhaul. While I can’t disclose everything that happened, just know the events leading up to this meeting have not been good. The meeting itself doesn’t feel promising either.
My restaurant job has welcomed back the woman who trained me. I’m happy for her because I didn’t want her to go, but it does mean I may be losing out on that extra income now. Right when I have a month left before leaving for Ireland. IF that even happens.
I have a theory and it’s been a theory since my financial aid was rescinded last year….I don’t think I’m meant for this school. My family doesn’t want to hear that and they keep pressing to make it a thing; though I am still woefully unprepared to live there financially. Not to mention the fact that some things career wise are now falling into place for me right as I’m supposed to be leaving. I mean, if I was in Ireland last year, I wouldn’t have been able to earn eligibility into SAG, because I would have been over the Atlantic and in school.
Education is important however. Not having a degree has hindered me from taking financially secure jobs over the years that are not retail, restaurant, or even human resources; which I was lucky to land the position I did without the degree. Mainly because I worked my way up that company and my friend was in a position to hire me.
This is one of those times when I have to exercise faith in the Universe over where it wants me to go. My biggest prayers are to let go of the things, situations, and people who no longer serve my highest good. For my family to truly support my career and to stop letting fear get in the way which, I feel was causing a lot of blockages in my career (among other things.) Finally, to be put in a position where I can excel at my career (may be simple as a workshop that helps me be a better actor compared to 4 years in school.)
I shall see what happens in the next few days.
(Source: I saw this on Facebook, but I don’t know the original creator of this photo.)
This is a public service announcement for all who have been following so far:
Just because I’m the only person you know who is capable of doing the job you need done, doesn’t mean I’m willing or available to do that job.
Here’s the backstory to that PSA:
One of my bosses from one of the three jobs I’m working at is putting on a live stage show that needs a Stage Manager. So far, I’m the only person they know that’s capable of doing the job, but one problem…I’m not available AT ALL. Besides the fact that I’m already not too keen on how things have been going with the production so far. It seems like more trouble than it should be, and my boss just won’t let up even though I said no.
Worse yet, they are bringing other people into the fold by saying I’m going to do the job.
Why does this annoy me?
1) I despise being volunteered for things I did not agree to. It’s rude and crosses a boundary because that person is pressuring me. They’re hoping I break down and say yes.
2) It’s not other people’s business what I’m doing work wise. If I want other people to know what I’m doing, I will tell them myself.
This may be a gig that I have to quit sooner than expected if the nonsense persists. I have zero patience right now.
I did make a backup account just to let my friends know why I’m not responding to them, but honestly, like I mentioned on a previous post here…I’m not going to save it.
It was only a matter of time.
I know I have previously talked about people who destroy jokes by having no sense of humor, but what about the people telling them?
Today after work, I caught wind of the director James Gunn being fired from the MCU franchise and I’m disappointed. Not in Disney, but in him.
What people need to understand that there is always some truth in the jokes. Even if they’re being said or written for shock value, it still shows who you are as a person. Suddenly working for Disney doesn’t help you grow as a person or make you a better one.
The MCU is now up to two directors who have exhibited gross behavior, either by being an emotionally abusive husband or an author of pedophilic jokes. I swear to God if one more actor or director from this franchise is revealed to be gross, I’m going to have to petition for Disney to conduct background checks on all of their production staff.
(Taken late last month.)
There’s not much I can do about it. What I can do is take stock of where I’m at now:
•A decent theatre resume
•A film credit
•Nominated for a regional award
That’s what I have for the time being, though I managed to get this done at a rapid pace of 3 years (SAG alone takes some people a decade.)
Right now, the only thing I have going on is my YouTube channel until I work another film in 2019. I’ll try to keep this page updated on any industry related things that may come up in the meantime.
If you were following my blog up to this point, you would know that I currently have three jobs. Pole Dance Instructor, Arthouse Movie Theatre Projectionist, and Host/Server at a popular restaurant.
Recently, at the restaurant, I managed to pick up more serving shifts and ultimately that means more money in my pocket. However, that came at a cost: the person to trained me on the restaurant’s system was removed from the schedule.
I don’t like it.
Let’s be clear that I’m in no way ungrateful for the extra income (I NEED it), but I was hoping to earn it on my own merits and not because someone was forcibly removed. If you’re wondering if there was a valid reason for their removal? Yes. I will not disclose why though.
The next question you may be wondering is, if there was a valid reason this person had to go, why do you feel guilty about it? Well, as I stated earlier, they trained me. It’s a really ugly situation when companies require employees to train their replacements when they’re being let go by said company. Even worse when you train someone, get let go, and then find out that person you trained filled your spot. It feels sneaky.
Personally, I prefer to cover shifts for people. When they can’t for reasons due to illness or conflict of schedule. Better yet if they are quitting their position and are training their replacement to do the job well. I like to call this “an approved exchange” where no one gets hurt.
I liked this person. I bore no ill will, though I had concerns. They were cool and easy to talk to. Plus, believe it or not, they did train me well and did their job well when they could. It also worries me that I may be blocking my own blessings from feeling immense guilt about it. In the grand scheme of things, this job is temporary. Hopefully this sick feeling I have subsides by the time I leave.