Today’s Audition 

I knew I was going in for a beauty campaign today. As it turns out it may be a Korean beauty company that I auditioned for. It’s very serendipitous, especially with a video I watched the other day from NPR about Pore Vacuuming in Seoul, South Korea. With K-Beauty, I’ve only used a couple of products. A fairly decent cleanser and collagen sheet masks. My skin is very problematic and needs the most help out of my whole routine. As far as makeup is concerned, I have that covered. K-Beauty foundations and BB creams are often too pale for my skin anyway. I won’t, however, shy away from eyeshadows, liners, and lip products, especially if they are really pretty. 

I’m not sure if I’m going to land this campaign, but it is directing my attention towards using more K-Beauty. Maybe this is the formula I need to fix my face! We shall see.


Caffeine and Anxiety 

(Source: Facebook, but no knowledge of which comic this came from.)

So, it has come time for me to quit on caffeine. I’m going to do this in small parts, because I have attempted to quit before and got really sick doing it. The main reason is that it heightens my anxiety and causes me to have panic attacks. I’m moving to drink greens instead for my energy source, since they are loaded with vitamins and nutrients. And of course drinking more water (which I’m terrible at staying consistent.) This will be a good detox for me. 

Consignment Shopping 

I went shopping the past couple of days for my trip to the west. Because I’m on a limited budget, but I still want to impress. That’s when my dear friend, the consignment store comes in. 

Why do I love consignment stores so much? First of all, you can find some amazing, unique, and vintage items at the consignment store. They are usually made with better materials and tailoring. Most fast fashion nowadays, construct pieces for cheap using flimsy fabrics and stitching. 

2) It’s very Parisian. Many women in the city of Paris consign clothes. By doing so, they create looks that they can call their own. Always setting themselves apart from others without breaking the bank.

3) Piggybacking off of #2, I love the hunt for a deal. I don’t shop for clothing often, (in fact most of my clothes are either hand-me-downs, or clothes provided for me from various events or jobs that I have worked) but something about buying a massively priced item for pennies on the dollar just gives me a thrill. 

4) It’s a great place to buy costumes for theatre or any filmed pieces. All of the background jobs I worked, I wore consigned pieces that made me look “rich”. One of the jobs I worked, a woman brought her most expensive items and lost some of her real gold jewelry. If she had brought costume jewelry instead, she wouldn’t have broken a sweat over the loss. Plus with that deep of background, the camera or the viewer wouldn’t have picked up the difference anyway.

Simply put, consignment shopping is fun, economical, hip, and vital for the actor. I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Birthday Weekend 

My birthday is coming up this Friday and I’m starting to make a clear assessment and some hard decisions for my life. I want to leave the US knowing that I will be financially secure in Ireland. I want to be able to see my friends and family before I go. I want to be able to continue working in my industry while in school. Ultimately all I want is a better life for myself. 

No, not everything is bad, but it’s not amazing either. With that said, all I can do is press on as I have been, even though I’m getting to the point where I’m pretty much crying everyday. With that said, here are the things going right:

                      (Source: Pinterest)

I’m performing the last two shows of “Orange Is The New Musical” this weekend and the creators of the musical are flying in from L.A. to watch one of the shows. They are going to do a sort-of talk back to the audience and the cast which should be very fun.

The shoot that I’m doing for the film “Without You” is also this weekend where I play one of the strippers in the scene. I have a cute outfit ready and raring to go, along with trying to drop as much weight, wrapping, and tanning myself as much as possible. I have a stripper background myself, so it’s nice to be able to utilize that background for an actual film. Who knows, maybe I should go back if I want to raise the funds needed for school. Once I move to Ireland, I’m not allowed to dance anyway, it can be a last hurrah. 

My Jane Austen scholarship essay is due the following weekend. I’m going to be responsible and get it done and turned in this weekend so I’m not stressed out about it. The guidelines are fairly easy so it shouldn’t take too long to write an 8 page paper with a citation page right? Right?! 

Time to get to work…happy birthday to me *sigh*.

The “Meh” Ball

     Liberace was better dressed for the ball.

Um…so…I was expecting massive slayage and punk inspired looks for the Commes des Garçons exhibit; but no such luck. With the exception of maybe Rihanna and a couple of other people, no one really wore Commes pieces or looks in that sort of style. I’m thinking that because of the “Great Robot Disaster” of last year; people wanted to tone it down this year. Here are my picks:

     An actual Commes des Garçons piece.

              (Source: Who What Wear.)


 Another actual Commes des Garçons piece.

                (Source: Who What Wear.)


                              Pink Lily #1

                (Source: Who What Wear.)

                            Pink Lily #2

                (Source: Who What Wear.)


               (Source: Who What Wear.)


                         Pointy Shoulder

               (Source: Who What Wear.)

Burlesque Dress (I love Ashley Graham BTW)

               (Source: Who What Wear.)

                          Hipster Angel 

               (Source: Who What Wear)

My FAVORITE Outfit and one that I would wear out

               (Source: Who What Wear.)


                 High Fashion Detective

               (Source: Who What Wear.)

Maybe next year I will blown away, but :

Pole Dancing 

(Source: Yuri!! On Ice and Pinterest. For those that are not familiar with the anime, the character featured here is Christophe Giacometti; one of the supporting characters in the show and my favorite.) 

In my previous post about weight loss, you have undoubtedly seen a photo of me in a silver bikini in a flag pole strength move. That was from a Pole Princess competition that I did at The Chase Lounge in Dover, DE back in 2012. I love pole and got started while I was going to school in Philly over a decade ago. Now that I’m reaching my 10 year anniversary, I wanted to write a post about it. 

(Me circa early 2012 doing a recital at Upstairs: at Club Risqué.) 

While I’m still obsessed with cheerleading, pole dancing comes in a very close second. I got into it due to the fact that there is a shelf life to being a competition cheerleader but not a pole dancer. I started at Poise Dance Studio which was owned by my dance teacher and now super close friend Jamie. She has since moved to the west coast (I will see her on vacation in June) and her student and my friend, Lauren, took over the helm and renamed it Flaunt Fitness.

(Circa 2011? And yes she is standing on top of me.)

What I love about pole is the muscle I built. Yes, I had a lot of strength and toughness from cheer. But pole took that to another level. It also satiated my need to not have to wear pants and taught me how to walk well in heels. But of course it taught me how to fly and be more confident in my body.

Now that I’m trying to get my fitness back on track for stunt work, pole dance is a necessity for me to re-wire myself for strength and endurance. The real question was how. Since I’m poor, I wasn’t going to be able to pay for classes; which means I have to work. This could be done in a couple of ways: either work at a strip club or teach pole at a studio. The first would require an investment of costumes and for me to drop about 30 lbs fast. The second just requires some previous experience and willingness to train. I opted for the second. I put in my application at a school and now I’m waiting to hear back from them. Hopefully they have me come in for an interview (which will probably include pole work). This will be so helpful, not only for my wallet but for my body as well. Fingers crossed 🤞 

I Missed the Ball 😢

Due to being destitute and a previous obligation, I had to miss the annual Masquerade Ball hosted by the Harlem Haberdashery in New York. Last year was the first year I went with my friend and we had a blast! Neither of us could swing it this year and that is devastating. The money raised went to the Harlem Children’s Hospital with the special hashtag of #TakeCareOfHarlem. Also when the ball ended, everyone would meet at the Row House restaurant for a late dinner and continue to party in their speakeasy called the Underbar.

(I could have been sipping on whiskey on the rocks. 

Not only that, the guests were all so lovely. You should see the suits the gentlemen were wearing! I swear this was me the whole night:

(😭😭😭 the men were so sharp! 😭😭😭)

Ugh, I’m going to go to a beautiful ball before this year is through! I’m willing it to the Universe.