Wiped Out

(Source: Facebook.)

I’m tired.

My trip to New York wasn’t exactly restful due to the fact that I had to come back late last night in order to work this morning. But this is my life now.

I didn’t mention the new job I’m working at now, simply because I wasn’t trying to jinx it. I had post back in March, talking about a job that couldn’t stick to my availability. I had to quit that job and remain worried about money for the next month and a half.

I’m happy to be working somewhere and the job isn’t bad. My financial goals for SAG and Dublin are still on track.

Traveling

(Source: The Franklin Institute Facebook Page.)

Right now I’m traveling northbound to New York by way of Amtrak. I very rarely use their service because it is so expensive. $200. If I was wealthier, I would use them all of the time. Taking this route is the most luxurious and time efficient to get to the city.

My most used method is either the Greyhound, Bolt or MegaBus. It’s roughly a 3 hour commute as opposed to a 1 1/2 hour commute. My average ticket price is about $15.

My second hope tonight, in addition to performing my monologue without blowing it, is to get a return on my investment. Either winning the event, a job, or an agent. I’m not picky.

The Wedding 👰🏽

(Source: Facebook.)

You know which wedding I’m talking about.

Wow.

Meghan was absolutely stunning and Harry was so happy. They looked so in love…I’m still an emotional pile right now.

As I said when they first got engaged, I’m living vicariously through them. With a history of bad dating experiences, coupled with financial struggles, I just can’t see myself ever getting married. Would it be nice? Yes. But my life sucks right now and I’m fighting hard to fix it. There’s no time for a guy. Plus many of them didn’t match well with me.

The only marriage I will have, is the one to my career. Cheers to that.

Manhattan Monologue Slam

(Source: Thespian Peacock Tumblr and Pinterest.)

I got a last minute invite to the Manhattan Monologue Slam. Believe it or not, I have never heard of this showcase until a couple of weeks ago. One of the background actresses I met on the set of Creed 2 was inviting a group of us to be a part of the Philadelphia branch of this project. They weren’t able to pull off the May start date like they wanted, so instead we were invited to the original in NYC.

They only give us 30 seconds of time to perform a monologue. If they like us, we can move on to a bigger event where we would perform a 1-2 minute monologue. Either way it is a good event to attend as there are agents, celebrities, casting directors, and a slew of creatives in the audience watching you. The event itself is great for networking.

My biggest hope is to perform the monologue all the way through. I chose a brief part from the play ‘Carmilla’ that I was in as that would be most comfortable for me. The last time I attempted to perform one, I bombed it and had a panic attack during my audition for ‘Twelfth Night.’……………………………………………………………Please Jesus, see me through this.

Cliché Dream

(Source: Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh.)

You know that dream that everyone has once in their lives? The one where you show up to take a test you didn’t study for?

I had that, but instead, I wasn’t prepared for a show and my director admonished me for it.

The funny thing is it started out with the director giving me the script and said come in for tomorrow for the first rehearsal. I did that and the first rehearsal ended up being the show instead. I asked for the cast to take a vote because they were more prepared than I was, if they wanted me to leave. They preferred that I face my shame and go on with the performance like normal.

My dream basically set me up to fail and I wondered what this meant in my conscious life. No production would ever run this way, but it is a common dream amongst many of us. Is the unpreparedness a signal that we are on the wrong path? Like if we were given a quiz or a script we didn’t prepare for, is the dream telling us that we are not prepared for an important moment in our lives.

For me I’m going to say yes.

I’m trying extra hard to do the right thing, taking on extra jobs, setting myself up for success in Ireland, but something in my gut is screaming “WRONG WAY!!!” My only hope is to figure out the right way soon, so I’m not wasting my time.

HAMLET AHHH!

(Source: Facebook.)

I’ve mentioned more than once that I have yet to see a live performance of Hamlet. Some good news was delivered to me, by way of Shakespeare Magazine, as they announced a new production of Hamlet at the Gate Theatre in Dublin.

This run with Ruth Negga as the lead, coincides perfectly with my move to Dublin. The tickets are a decent price too. My butt will be in a seat, late September for this production!

Well…

(Source: Facebook.)

My job somehow obtained the court record of the Weinstein Co. bankruptcy proceedings. Before starting my shift today, I took some time to be nosy and peruse through the document.

A detail that I have forgotten about living in Delaware, is that this state makes it all too easy to incorporate businesses here…sometimes in shady forms. The Weinstein Company is no different and it made me wonder, how many major entertainment companies are incorporated with a business address in Delaware? (I once heard a rumor that Creative Artists Agency has an address here, but I don’t know that for certain.)

At some point before the hearing, Harvey Weinstein had to make an appearance in Delaware in order to retrieve some of his company’s documents. Given that the business address, bankruptcy law firm, district court, and possible hotel he stayed at are all a few short blocks within each other and my home; I shudder to think that a monster like him was so close by. I sincerely hope a few employees of the hotel and court at least gave him a noticeable stink eye as he walked past.

Borg vs. McEnroe

(Source: Teaser Trailer.com and Pinterest.)

This film just completed its run at my job and I wanted to unpack my thoughts about it. Not the quality of the film, which in fact was very good, but the process that went into making it.

The reason is, there are so many locations used, crowd scenes, costuming, historical accuracy respected, camera angles, stunt doubles, and shoot days.

Let’s start with locations. According to Wikipedia, this film was shot over at least 5 locations: Gothenburg, Sweden; Södertälje, Sweden; Prague, Czech Republic; London, United Kingdom; and the country of Monaco. The stadium used to mimic the Centre Court arena was in Prague and not the actual arena in Wimbledon* if you can believe that.

Crowd scenes. Oh boy do I know about quite a bit about this. Working crowd scenes, seems to be what I do mostly on my background shoots. Whether I’m at a party or a courtroom, chances are I, and a number of other background actors are being herded to set by Production Assistants. For this type of crowd scene though, they needed hundreds. With enough costuming to cheat the shot and make it look like thousands were in attendance. I could only imagine the casting notice for a shoot like this:

Seeking Men and Women, ages 18-99 for early 1980s Upscale Spectators in an outdoor sporting event. Must have multiple Summer looks to choose from and period appropriate hairstyles.

I didn’t include a pay rate because I don’t know how much they paid their actors, but that would usually be a part of the casting call too.

Costuming for the late 1970s, early 80s would be a pain. Not only does the background have to be in time appropriate clothes, but the principals as well. Many of the actors, I could tell, grew out their hair to match the look of the era. Though some of them had wigs on that looked mighty questionable.**

The costuming wasn’t the only thing that had to be respected historically, but much of the play too! The stunt doubles that actually played tennis match are great at what they do, because it definitely looked like they matched key moments of play.

The camera work and later editing, is what made this film. I’m sure this was multiple shoot days as it usually takes about a 12 hour day to film 5 minutes worth of footage at different angles. Plus the days had to be sunny. This doesn’t include the hard work the lighting crew has to put in to assist with making the lighting look consistent throughout the entire tennis match.

By far one of the more impressive films I have seen composed on the independent circuit.

*I kept wanting to spell Wilmington, which is where I live lol.

**I have a different word other than “questionable”, but I’m trying to be polite.

Another Dream

(Taken on May 3 in New York.)

This time it was a good dream: I receive an email about finally getting to work on a project that I have been waiting on.

The real question is, how does this play out in reality? Right now I’m taking on work that is as close to the industry as I can get. However, even with all that I have accomplished, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.

This dream that I had gave me a sliver of hope. Fingers crossed on a breakthrough.

Men…*sigh*

(Source: Twitter…I want to hug the person who made this meme.)

Let’s talk about men for a second. In previous posts I have been getting on women’s cases about “Hollywood Feminism.” Or how Amber Rose unnecessarily threw shade on women from her hometown of Philadelphia. There was also my bit about the problematic male director who was accused of not being a feminist, because he was a horrible husband. Finally the Aziz Ansari story break, in which I noticed that the woman who accused him of rape, pushed a little too far to get him to like her.

If you think this makes me anti-woman, you would be incorrect. We as women, unfortunately, are held to an impossibly high and/or double standard by men for several millennia. Somehow we have to be drop-dead gorgeous, be domestic, smart…but not smarter than the man interested in us (otherwise we would be seen as intimidating), be nurturing, and sex goddesses all at the same time. Even though I have called out women in the past, it’s because they are trying to play the same game that men do.

Let me repeat that:

WOMEN👏🏽SHOULD👏🏽NOT👏🏽PLAY 👏🏽THE 👏🏽SAME👏🏽STUPID👏🏽GAME👏🏽THAT👏🏽MEN👏🏽DO👏🏽

(Source: Twitter.)

I read a couple of posts on Twitter today, that inspired this post.

1) The celebrity who put his wife on blast about their sex life and the double standard that he holds for her. He was rightfully roasted for what he said, because it was absolutely atrocious. (I sincerely hope there is some sort of apology or divorce in the future.)

2) “Incels” or “Involuntarily Celebate” men who direct their rage towards women with fantasies or rape and torture.

What it ultimately tells me is that men are incredibly insecure. I figure it’s how they were raised by the generation of men before them.

•Where it’s not ok to express themselves except with rage.

•They were taught the world owes them something. Women owe them something. They are entitled because they are men!

•Their measure of worth is determined by how much is in their bank account, or their public status.

•How much sex they get as opposed to the quality of sex they get.

It pains me to say this, but it’s only going to get worse from here. It also saddens me that I know what you’re going to say next:

Not all men.

(Source: Facebook.)

Until those angelic, non-problematic men call out and correct the archaic system by which they run society, we will remain at a stalemate.