Burlesque and Pole Dancing

(Source: Facebook, Artist Unknown.)

A couple of things have come up in the striptease realm for me. One of them I am definitely involved in and the other one conflicts with my schedule.

(Source: The Lost Pinup Page On Facebook .)

There is an upcoming audition for one of the big burlesque troupes in Philadelphia. Sadly I have to miss it because I can only do half of the shows on the list. I’ve wanted to do burlesque for quite some time; especially since I did a variation of burlesque, when I attended classes at my old Pole studio. I’m really disappointed, but I do hope I can participate in some way in the future.

(Circa: St. Patrick’s Day 2017.)

The video above is what happens when a slippery pole, felt carpet flooring, and too many cocktails are combined.

With that said, the pole studio I applied to is finally open and the owner and I are finalizing a schedule soon. I’m only teaching pole tease with heels (no pole tricks of any kind) and I need to come up with a routine. She is also making a promotional video for the studio and I am participating in that; so yay for pole fitness! I’ll post a video later of the routine I came up for November.

I Got A Little Triggered Today…

(Source: Saturday Night Live and NBC)

I watched ‘Ingrid Goes West’ earlier today at the independent theatre I used to work at. It was a good film, but I got a little triggered. Much like the heroine of the film, I too struggle with mental illness; which left me questioning myself and life in general…am I like Ingrid?

The answer is quite possibly, yes. Though it was more on a “seeking out a boyfriend” level, rather than trying to make friends or try to be cool. (After being rejected several times, I came to accept being a bit of a loser with guys; but my friendships with women and men are my saving grace.)

In the end, Ingrid had a positive resolution. Me…well my luck in the guy department has not.

It is what it is.

Sword and Shield

(Source: Facebook)

While I’m still working on getting bookings to pad my bank account, I did sign up for another stage combat course!

This time it’s sword and shield. Taught by my same instructor that ran the unarmed stage combat course. Sword and shield is a SAFD category, though in this class and inspired by the recent Wonder Woman movie, my instructor wanted to take it to another badass level. The other cool thing about this course is that I will see many of my old classmates from my previous class and that too is very exciting. I can’t wait to kick ass and take names on the battlefield.

A Serious Topic

(Source: Ekhi-Guinea, Deviant Art.)

The artwork above is not meant to be funny. What it represents to me is what I see going on in the World right now. While it has been said that right now is the safest time to be alive and that media coverage just puts more emphasis on the negative; when you have events like the mass shooting in Las Vegas last night, Puerto Rico in peril, violence in Spain and Catalonia, and anger over athletes trying kneel for the deaths in the black community…I feel nothing but powerless and basically watching my planet die.

All of this seething hatred means there is a serious lack of love and deep rooted pain. We somehow need to disrupt the pattern or drown in it. But how?

Updates

(Source: The Simpsons and Fox. This is my current mood)

Hello! I didn’t mean to be so sparse in my writing, but I was all over the place both physically and mentally that I haven’t really been able to pull it together. I have good news and not so good news.

The good news first: I won my court case to get my medical bills paid from my car accident. My medical team did everything in their power to put me back together and my insurance wouldn’t pay for my care. Yesterday, my parents and I signed off on the paperwork to officially close the case and my medical team has now been paid.

The not so good news: My dad is still having issues related to his illness and has to be re-admitted to the hospital for another surgery and treatment. It’s not life threatening (at least I hope) but it is getting ridiculous and very upsetting.

What I do have upcoming: As I said previously, I’m stage managing at Bootless for Tick, Tick…Boom! Our preview shows are this weekend and we run our regular shows the first two weekends in October.

I have an audition during the day this Saturday for a SAG backed project as I am on the hunt for my last SAG waiver to get into the union. No matter what happens, I will at least know that I took a chance to achieve a goal.

After TTB finishes it’s run, I will have a small box office gig at the Penns Landing Playhouse in Philadelphia. It will be a fair little bit of money for me to earn while I’m working on other projects.

I’m still trying to book other gigs and maybe a part-time day job. I need to stack cash right now (especially since I may have to pay a large membership fee to SAG), so I’m looking for what will give me the most money. I may go back to bartending or serving for that.

That’s all I have for now.

Gucci SS18…My Complaints

(Source: Pinterest)

I’m back. After several days of rest and recuperation to try and get my anxiety under control, one of the things I did as a functioning human was watch the Gucci SS18 show live from Facebook.

I consider runway shows to be as much a theatrical event as I do live theatre. As a brand you want to put on a good show for your audience, but I had some issues with this show in particular.

The Lighting:

Pre-show they had normal “work” lights on for the attendees to take their seats. With the drone cameras flying above, you could see this beautiful set inspired by Ancient Rome and Egypt as well as a massive, winding runway. Along with that set you could see that the guest list for this show was incredibly large as there were many butts in seats. Once the show started, the workers went off, the room went dark, the strobes began, and continued throughout the entire show.

Aside from the main area where all of the photographers and videographers were stationed to capture the clothes, there was no light. This is a disservice to the remainder of the audience (who are also members of the fashion industry in their own right) because they are not privileged enough to sit in the designated area to see the collection.

Also I noticed during the final tracing of the runway the lights literally went off in some sections. It was so dark, that it took a few moments for the audience to understand that they were doing a final trace and didn’t clap initially. Plus a dark runway is incredibly dangerous for the models. The set and lighting designers should have given them the courtesy of spiking the runway with glow tape, so they don’t crash into the audience.

The strobe lighting gave me a headache and I was watching on video. I could only imagine what the live audience suffered through.

The Pacing of the Show:

I’m not at all bashing the collection or the models. The collection was beautiful, from what I could see, but that is also a major problem I had with the show. The models were practically racing down the runway! Since I have experience walking in runway shows, I’m sure they were given the direction to continue walking at a fast pace and don’t stop for the cameras. Yes, they practically had an army working this show. Still, if they couldn’t stop to pose, at least let them walk at a slower pace for the small portion of the audience that had good lighting.

I’m going to have to look at the photos later to really look at the clothes. The production value of this show was piss poor with the set, the collection, and the lighting wasted.

My Nerves Are Bad

So this entire New York trip has triggered my anxiety so much, that I had a really bad panic attack yesterday on 9th Ave.

It’s not New York though. I was having the same issues, recently, while in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. The last time I had a really bad episode like this was in England back when I was 17; that ended with me fainting.

It’s weird though, because I’m not homesick or anything. Plus I have really enjoyed my time in all of those places and never once had an episode when I went to Japan 7 years ago.

I have had panic attacks throughout my adult life. However, they were very spotty and usually came after big stressors. (I have big stressors right now for sure.) The ones where I take trips though are very troubling and I want to get them under control.

I know what chemicals in my body trigger an attack. I also know that my thoughts don’t help either and I can maintain control. There are some things I am going to work on when I get home, like meditation and possibly start running to wear some of it off. It’s just frustrating to go through this right now.

New York So Far

(My tourist photo lol!)

I arrived back in New York this past Friday to attend a stunt training and to work a volunteer gig for NYFW. So far, so good.

(Taken yesterday. They were doing Stair Falls. Since it’s my first class they didn’t have me do this yet.)

The stunt training went particularly well. Much of the essential skills that they teach are very similar to what I was learning in Unarmed Stage Combat, but with tweaks that read for film. I plan on taking more trainings until I’m good and ready to do this professionally.

(Taken earlier today.)

Since it was so nice today and I had free time, I took the subway down to Coney Island to walk around. I haven’t been to Coney in 8 years and I just wanted to buzz around to see if anything has changed. Not much though it does seem like they are building more apartments in the area. It’s still Coney and I love it.

(Taken yesterday before taking the train to stunt class.)

Tomorrow I meet up with a friend and former co-worker I haven’t seen in person in a long time. (Although we correspond regularly on social media.) She is getting married next month, and since I am unable to attend her wedding; I wanted to give her part of her wedding gift when I see her:

(A Signed Tom Hiddleston postcard that was gifted to me from Wizard World Philadelphia last year.)

This was given to me by the friend of the young lady that I calmed down from a panic attack before meeting him at the convention last year. My friend is a major fan of his (me, not so much…at least not anymore) so I felt that this postcard would be in better hands with her. I can’t wait to see her as we have much catching up to do.

I will update more later once I go to the Jason Wu Grey Out event and after the Chulo Underwear NYFW event I’m working.

September Is Shaping Up

(Me looking at the month ahead.)

Without getting too excited, I’m starting to make plans for this month.

If I didn’t mention this before, I will now; I’m stage managing at Bootless for their upcoming production of ‘Tick, Tick, BOOM’. Since my role is different from before, I don’t have to make as many appearances until closer to the run. (Though I am planning to see a couple of the un-required rehearsals to get a feeling of the show and ultimately find out what I need to do behind the scenes.)

In addition to that, I did end up booking the volunteer gig with NYFW! I will post the Eventbrite link if you are in the area and want to support a good cause.

Starting this upcoming weekend, with the additional day that I will be working NYFW, I’m planning on staying in New York for a week or so just exploring the area. I never really get to do that since I couldn’t really afford the luxury of staying in the city and really get my bearings. I’m also considering flexible work with some of the catering companies or the burlesque club up there; when I’m not here in Delaware for the show to make some extra money. (The catering gig would be better, but OMG to perform burlesque in NYC would be divine!)

Overall this should be a shift in perspective since I’m spending more time in New York without killing my wallet. Hopefully I come back with more money too!

Getting Paid

Funny little story:

Yesterday I went to check the mail and saw an envelope from a production accounting company.

“My pay from ‘Bull’ is here, yay!”

I kissed the envelope and went up to my apartment. I opened it up and…it was the pay from my dress fitting for the shoot I did this past Monday. (Which is significantly less than what I am being paid for ‘Bull’)

“Aww.” I said, as I lost the wind in my sails.

Money is still money, so I celebrated receiving my check in the mail (albeit with a little less enthusiasm.) Hopefully after the holiday weekend I will see my pay.

The End.