My Apartment is Kicking My Butt in Shape

(Source: somewhere on Twitter.)

I haven’t really talked too much about the apartment I was able to rent. Honestly my schedule doesn’t really permit for much of anything so it’s been difficult to stay consistent with this blog, but that complaint is for another time. However the time has come to not only talk about the apartment, but also why it’s forcing me to get in shape.

The apartment is really old and the bathroom is scary gross. The tenants are good people, so the lack of cleanliness is not a reflection on them. It has more to do with the fact that the last time the space was truly renovated was in the early 1900’s. I would fetch a guess that the bathroom has not had an update since the early 1990’s. There are all sorts of vermin crawling all over the place. I bought special storage bins for my clothing and toiletries so they wouldn’t have bugs in them. Plus I regularly check my suitcases and my bed to make sure no critters have crawled in them. It’s bad.

When it comes to using the bathroom, I hover squat over the toilet…IF I use it. I just use the toilet while I’m at school or at Starbucks mostly. The sink is disgusting, so I use the kitchen sink in my apartment to wash my hands and brush my teeth.

The worst part is the shower. This is a shared bathroom for 3 apartments within the building with 5 adults living there and for the shower to work it charges €2 for 5 minutes.

Yeah…..no.

1) I need to take more than 5 minutes in the shower just for my hair alone. So in order for me to be truly cleansed, I would say I’m spending upwards of €6 per shower.

2) I bathe everyday, because I sweat profusely and I walk around in city pollution. €6 daily adds up big time. I’m looking at €168 monthly just to take a shower.

3) Since living in film and funk gives me anxiety, my family and I established that it would be cheaper to pay for a gym membership and use the shower there. Right now I’m on a student contract (3 month intervals) with a really posh gym in the city for only €45 per month.

So I’m taking advantage of my new membership by using the facilities for more than just hygiene purposes. I’m seriously out of shape and even though I lost a little weight since I got here, it wasn’t significant enough for me to buy new clothes or look better in photos. This is a good thing. I worked out after school today for 30 minutes and was already super winded. I’m now motivated to workout every day until that no longer is an issue. Hopefully I drop a few more pounds and gain some energy back.

Oh and I took a super long shower too.

(Source: Facebook.)

I’ve Landed

(Source: Pinterest.)

Ok, ok. One more post before going off the grid for a bit.

Currently I’m writing this post from a coffee shop in City Centre Dublin. My flight landed in Dublin Airport at the buttcrack-of-dawn this morning. The airplane seating was a little tight. I know good and well that paying economy prices usually means less than favorable seating with domestic flights; however, I was quite surprised that my international flight was the same way. Previously I have flown to England and Japan with a little wiggle room, so I expecting the same with this flight. There were still in-flight films provided and it gave me a chance to rewatch ‘Black Panther’ and ‘Avengers: Infinity War.’ It took up most of my flight time which was great.

Once I arrived, I called my mom to let her know that I arrived safely. After that, I had to get approved for student status at the immigration booth. Super easy process.

The real panic came when one of my bags did not arrive in baggage claim. Of course it’s the one bag with all of my underwear and my coat in it (SMH). I started to get nervous. I went to baggage claim only to find a long line with other passengers from my same flight. The employees knew something was up and asked the people doing the unloading of the bags if they possibly placed bags from our flight in the wrong receiving bin. That was exactly what happened and we managed to recover our bags. (Thank goodness!)

Once I exited the terminal, it was chilly. A huge difference from the 100 degree hellscape I just left from. Not really a complaint, but more of a shock to the system. From Summer to Winter in a blink of the eye.

I took the shuttle bus from the airport to the area where I’m staying and got a little confused as to which direction I’m supposed to be heading. An older gentleman saw that I looked lost and asked me where I’m going. Once I told him it was easy for him to figure out. He also asked me where I was coming from, I said the United States and the first thing that came out of his mouth was “You didn’t vote for HIM did you?” I chuckled at the fact that no one, myself included, will refer to my country’s awful leader by name. I replied “Absolutely Not!” to which he replied “Good for you!” A great first few hours in Dublin so far. 😂

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m taking less time on social media, but I will definitely be back to report on the upcoming ‘Hamlet’ production with Ruth Negga.

For now, I’m just killing time until I can check in to my accommodation and take a much needed nap.

The Big Move

(Source: DIYLOL.COM)

Just a couple of more weeks before I jet off to another land. I’m a roller coaster of emotions, but I will be alright. The big stuff is still yet to come:

•Wardrobe

•Packing

•Having all of the necessary documents

•Energy

A couple of things about this move are making me a little nervous. For starters, even though I have proof of acceptance to the school, medical insurance, money for cost of living, a valid passport, and accommodation, the immigration officer is well within their rights to block me from entering the country. I’m a U.S. Citizen, and unfortunately my country is not in good standing with the world right now. This is a valid reason to not permit me to study in Ireland.

The other concern is when I get there, will I be approved to work part-time? When meeting with the second round of immigration officers, I have to prove my finances by way of bank statements and additional income. I really NEED to work while I’m there. My family is not rich and we still have a slew of money issues.

I’m trying to hope for the best though.

As of right now, my notices were put in for work and next week is my final week at two of my three jobs. The last one I’m working all the way until it’s time for me to jet off. I have no idea how I’m going to pull it all off, but I’m going to make it happen.

Work Falling Away

(Source: Facebook.)

Well…two of my three jobs went from certain to uncertain.

Tomorrow, I have a staff meeting at my theatre gig because of a massive management overhaul. While I can’t disclose everything that happened, just know the events leading up to this meeting have not been good. The meeting itself doesn’t feel promising either.

My restaurant job has welcomed back the woman who trained me. I’m happy for her because I didn’t want her to go, but it does mean I may be losing out on that extra income now. Right when I have a month left before leaving for Ireland. IF that even happens.

I have a theory and it’s been a theory since my financial aid was rescinded last year….I don’t think I’m meant for this school. My family doesn’t want to hear that and they keep pressing to make it a thing; though I am still woefully unprepared to live there financially. Not to mention the fact that some things career wise are now falling into place for me right as I’m supposed to be leaving. I mean, if I was in Ireland last year, I wouldn’t have been able to earn eligibility into SAG, because I would have been over the Atlantic and in school.

Education is important however. Not having a degree has hindered me from taking financially secure jobs over the years that are not retail, restaurant, or even human resources; which I was lucky to land the position I did without the degree. Mainly because I worked my way up that company and my friend was in a position to hire me.

This is one of those times when I have to exercise faith in the Universe over where it wants me to go. My biggest prayers are to let go of the things, situations, and people who no longer serve my highest good. For my family to truly support my career and to stop letting fear get in the way which, I feel was causing a lot of blockages in my career (among other things.) Finally, to be put in a position where I can excel at my career (may be simple as a workshop that helps me be a better actor compared to 4 years in school.)

I shall see what happens in the next few days.

Wonder Woman 1984

(My jammies from the 1980’s when I was little. It has a cape attached too.)

Production for Wonder Woman 1984 is in full swing. Although I’m trying to work on bigger parts than just background, this is a film I can’t afford to ignore. Obviously because I used to watch the Lynda Carter reruns when I was a kid. I had the jammies as featured above. I later dressed up as Wonder Woman for a pole dancing recital which was so much fun!

But a little known fact about this film in particular:

I was born in Washington D.C. in ’83. In 1984, I would have been still residing in D.C. with my mom as a 1 year old riding around in a stroller. How fun would it be to perform in a film that’s shooting in my birthplace and taking place during a time period that I would have been alive?

If they let me push a baby girl around in a stroller, I could play the role of my mom and the baby girl could play the role of me. Now that would both be funny and historically accurate!

Mini-Break

(Source: Pinterest.)

My family was away this past weekend. Dad is still getting treatment at the outpatient facility and Mom took a business trip out of state to consider a possible relocation.

It reminded me of the old days before I was homeless. I used to have my own space, a working vehicle, a job that paid all of my bills, and freedom…

So what did I do with my new found quiet time? Slept a bit, organized some papers, reassessed my life, and prayed.

Lately I’ve been down about my career. It’s been a dry year for me and seems like it’s taking forever just for me to pull together my down payment for SAG. Even though I’m working three jobs, the money is sparse; which makes me worry if I can even get to Dublin at this point. Having to focus on my family’s care has also added to the stress, which makes this break all the more beautiful.

My Mom will be home late tonight. My Dad, a few days later. I will miss the peace a quiet for now, but I know I will get back to it soon.

Again…

(Source: Facebook.)

Originally this was supposed to be a good post about work. Especially since there was a resolution and free food involved. Instead it’s a report that my dad has to go back into the hospital again.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of the repeated treatments, the surgeries, the extended hospital stays.

I just want him to be okay.

It’s just too much to deal with and yet I’m required to.

Can my family get a break please?

Alzheimer’s

(Source: Spongebob Squarepants Nickelodeon.)

A couple of events happened to me over the weekend that left me a bit emotional.

The first was at a cafe where I was walking to the bathroom and an older woman walking out of the rooms started talking to me. She was telling me something that happened years ago when she was working, as if she was still an employee there. Her relative came over to collect her and revealed to me that she has Alzheimer’s Disease.

The second was at my theatre job. We are currently playing ‘The Leisure Seeker’ starring Dame Helen Mirren and Donald Sutherland. The plot consists of an elderly, unwell couple, who take one last road trip together to visit Ernest Hemingway’s house in Key West, Florida. The husband played by Sutherland had Alzheimer’s.

Oof!

To share something personal, my maternal grandmother suffered from the disease at (what I consider to be) a very young age. She also showed signs of decay earlier in her life, that had also contributed to a toxic family dynamic for my mother. My grandmother died when I was 16 years old.

Life wasn’t easy during my adolescence, and it was difficult not to get frustrated when she couldn’t remember me at all. There were times when it was also dangerous…she pulled a knife on me because she thought I was a stranger breaking into the house. Ultimately, I was sad for her. She was a woman who was super athletic. Popular. Loved to go out dancing (I take after her.)

She lived a full life, with no memory of it when she died.

In the present day I wonder if that is going to be me. Losing all of my mental faculties, not remembering anyone or anything. There are times when I feel like I’m losing my mind now. I have horrible anxiety, depression, I stutter, I forget things, my mind is scattered at times. I’m also independent and I don’t want people to have to babysit me, especially in a weakened state.

Anyway, this was something I wanted to get off of my chest since it has been gnawing at me most of my life.

Celebrities Are Not Babysitters

(Source: Facebook.)

There’s been several people complaining on Twitter about appetite suppressants being sold by Kim Kardashian. Their anger is that she is promoting it to impressionable youth. How dare her?!

Let me be clear…I don’t like Kim Kardashian or her family. I think they get way too much press and to quote something I tweeted earlier: she enjoys wearing the cloak of a sex worker without any of the backlash. With that being said, I think people are making this a bigger thing than it is.

I sell diet products and I have used appetite suppressants recently. But if I were to tell you that, in my youth, a celebrity compelled me to be skinny, I would tell you no.

For me it started at home. Not to air out my dirty laundry, but my mom complained about being fat (she never was) all of the time. That mindset trickled down to me, which is where most of my issues regarding weight come from. So if kids are desperate to use this product, the people who raised them is where I would look to first. Besides, if she really is in charge leading youth to follow in her image, then their parents really are failing to guide them properly.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

A Very Obvious Publicity Stunt

(Source: memegenerator.net and Facebook.)

Black Slaves did opt out of slavery…it was called The Underground Railroad, and that mission for freedom was fraught with danger.

But that is beside the point.

This is a publicity stunt performed by, what many call, a malignant narcissist. I’ve been talking about publicity stunts for the last few posts and I find the act to be fascinating. Mainly because it begs the question:

What depth is a celebrity willing to go, to make money?

In my “expert” opinion, as someone who takes many odd jobs for a quick buck, I would say this particular depth is somewhere near the Earth’s core.

However, I don’t have it in me to throw my ancestors under the bus. My elders raised me on the stories of our family’s past. It’s too horrific for me to deny or diminish what happened to them for a dollar. That’s plain evil.