I wish I was more into cosplay. There is a background job coming up on Tuesday who needed Comic Con types with non-licensed cosplay. It’s times like these when I wish I had a spare Lolita costume floating in my closet.
I’m bummed, but I hope more castings come up soon. My aunt is finally back from vacation, so I can resume going to NYC for work. I need it too, money is super tight right now.
There hasn’t been much going in on in Philly right now, though they did just open up the casting for Creed 2. I submitted for it, but much like before, I might not get booked because production may feel I look too similar to Tessa Thompson. Hopefully this time they have a scene with some of her “family” members, and maybe I get picked for that. Fingers crossed.
Today is Valentine’s Day and also Ash Wednesday. I went to church because my grandfather was delivering the sermon at the noon mass today. He is retired as a Reverend Canon, but on occasion he will speak to the congregation. The sermon itself was quite interesting because I find it to be relevant to some issues happening in the world today: Virtue Signaling and Outrage Culture.
Now technically, me talking about Ash Wednesday to begin with is a form of Virtue Signaling to begin with and I will keep my thoughts brief. However, I did want to share my takeaway from the sermon as it relates to what I see. First, Jesus’ teachings talk about how being overtly pious or virtuous for the sake of acknowledgement doesn’t reward us in the long run. Think about it: don’t we know at least one person whether public or private who behaves this way? It’s not to say that they don’t do good things, but it’s almost as if doing the good things to be recognized, only fuels their ego and comes off as not genuine. (I know of a handful of famous people in my industry who behave this way, but I won’t name them.) I think that has to wear on the psyche over time. Because if you have one slip-up of just being human, it’s far too easy to get torn down for it. Which is why, even though I’m perfectly guilty of being a Virtue Signaler, I’m also guilty of being a Hot Mess too. Balance is key.
Second, Outrage Culture. I’m definitely part of the pitchfork mob of Outrage Culture. Many of us are, and we have gotten to the point where even simple human error is grounds for a shunning. With that said, there are plenty of people who do horrible things, NO EXCEPTIONS. The real question is, how can we make corrections to the bad behavior, without turning bad ourselves? Because one day, that same hammer is going to fall on our heads and we won’t have anyone to blame but ourselves.
(Source: Facebook. When you finally think you’re getting momentum but God has other plans for your life.)
My life has been on one big pause in the past couple of weeks. It’s not just looking after my dad that is causing mass delays either. I haven’t been picking up too many bookings either. That is until today.
I won’t name the program, but it’s new. I’m slated to work on Tuesday when my mom has a day off to hang with my dad. I let my aunt in NYC know that I will be there and now I might not be able to stay. Not by her doing of course. She is going on vacation and they may not let anyone into her apartment while she’s away…damn.
I can’t drive there because the car broke down and it’s too expensive to repair. I’m still looking for regular work in the meantime and it’s been slow going. Needless to say, I’m getting a little frustrated.
There’s an old saying: “No test, no testimony.” I think I might have shared it on here before, but it feels like one of those tests of my patience right now. I’m not sure what will happen from here but at the moment, things look a little bleak. Too many obstacles in my path.
(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)
So I had to cancel my volunteer booking for NYFW. My dad needs attention right now and since my mom works all day, I don’t want to leave him by himself. As of this moment, I’m searching, once again, for gigs I can work from home (or overnight) until my dad’s condition improves.
Good news is, I do still have the stage managing gig coming up that doesn’t start until my mom comes home from work. However, I would have much better luck finding a day job like I used to have. Fingers crossed I find something flexible soon.
So the talk show gig I was going to do today was cancelled, due to the uncertainty of when my dad was getting out of the hospital. Good thing too, he got out today.
I’m well aware he is on a lot of medication and had multiple surgeries in two weeks time. But something is just not right. I’m not going to say what he went into the hospital for, that’s his business and it violates HIPAA; however, I can say he wasn’t functioning well at all today. The doctors have checked and didn’t find anything else wrong. I’m hoping it’s nothing permanent and more to do with his recovery. Fingers crossed.
(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)
Especially with my dad, a.k.a. The Six Million Dollar Man. He’s back in the hospital currently with multiple small surgeries already done and more to go. While non of his issues at the current moment are fatal, he was definitely teetering on that edge. Hopefully his medical team is able to repair him so his entire body doesn’t blow up.
All the while that is going on, I’m still trying to make headway at home. I went to the job interview I mentioned in a previous post, yesterday. It went well and I’m optimistic. It would be either administrative assistant work or in my old field of HR. I’m also trying to find some part time work, as well as applying for more gigs here and there. I will also be stage managing a show at the end of February, so there is some money to be made there. I just wish I have some kind of breakthrough work wise. Things are getting to be too stressful and hard to manage with little money and so many goals to achieve.
Not two hours after writing the previous post about entering into a field of land mines, a.k.a. gross people, in my industry, I ran into one of the people I used to work alongside with everyday. He said he couldn’t be happier that great things are happening to me, and he hopes my career blossoms in big ways this year.
(Source: Giphy. Ok but seriously, who is chopping onions in here!?)
Fine then. The gross people won’t stop me from being great. Which is a good thing too.
I’m strangely optimistic.
Now optimism isn’t the same as excitement. No. Besides, any time I get too excited, the rug gets ripped out from under my feet.
So I’m entering this field with a LOT of caution, some hope, and zero giddiness. I hope to report some progress soon.
I don’t have TV in my home right now. I haven’t had access since before I got laid off from my job and became homeless. Which leads me to watching everything by way of digital streaming and DVD. I didn’t watch the Golden Globes because of limited access, however, I tried to keep up with the program by way of recorded highlights and Twitter. There were two major takeaways I wanted to address because they involve a bit of shaming, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy.
First: Why are we shaming actresses who are not wearing black?
It wasn’t required dress code for the Golden Globes. It was an option to wear if you wanted to stand in solidarity with the women who were abused. That’s not an open invitation to abuse more women who chose not to wear black. We don’t know their stories or motivations as to why. Truthfully, it’s not our business to know. Much of the shaming came from other women too, which is incredibly disappointing and hypocritical.
Second: I understand the point Natalie Portman was trying to get across.
She was genuinely trying to call out the selection committee for not choosing any women directors for a nomination. Yeah that is wrong. The people that are siding with her, missed that major point and for some reason got mad at the nominees. Lest we not forget, Guillermo Del Toro, who is from Mexico; the country which bigoted constituents from my country are rallying to build a wall against; the country which our current leadership says has “Bad Hombres” coming from there; the country which our leadership deemed so dangerous, that they have emboldened ICE more than ever to rip families (including women) apart, and wrongfully profiled legal American citizens…
Sometimes we get caught up in the marginalization of women that we forget about other marginalized groups as well. But I have already addressed that issue a few posts ago.
Let me clarify, first, by saying I’m a big fan of the Bond movies…but I’m tired of them. All of this speculation going around the internet about who the next Bond should be is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve gone on record on my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook crying out that Bond needs to die. I will go further in detail here.
The most recent film in the franchise is the one that did it in for me. Besides the fact that they pulled the storyline from the 3rd Austin Powers installment, they wrote a terrible Bond Girl:
Bond’s main squeeze is a classic example of telling you that a female character is strong/intelligent/empowered but having her get beaten down/captured at almost every opportunity. Lea Seydoux’s Dr. Madeleine Swann is the most useless “tag-along girl” that James Bond has had in decades.
(Source: Forbes.com contributor Scott Mendelson.)
The biggest issue I have with the franchise is that 50% of the films are actually any good. With that being said, why to we want to put a black man or woman in the starrer role that could potentially flop? Why do we need to reboot at all? There are so many options and stories to tell in the Spy genre, that we really don’t need another Bond.
(Source: IMDb.com Jeffrey Wright in Casino Royale.)
If anything, the production company should make a Felix Leiter film. Felix is the U.S. equivalent of James Bond and is a C.I.A. agent. The name Felix is unisex so the character can be a he or a she. With that in mind, and with a little bit of bias, I would like the character to continue to be portrayed by Jeffrey Wright. I say with bias because he and my uncle attended school together as kids and he has always been kind, even years later (when my uncle told us that he bumped into him in L.A.)
But I digress. It’s not my decision to make how they go forward with the films. Though my attendance to the newest film is questionable at best.
(Source: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bravo TV)
A concern was brought up to me by my mom and I’m in agreement with her. Since my school has officially been approved for deferment until September 2018, anything I do now must be dedicated to my success in school. She could care less that I go to school (I am an adult and can make my own decisions after all), but she knows that attending college overseas has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. She doesn’t want to see me lose it. So that leads me to make some hard promises and agreements with myself:
•If (in the unlikely event) of me meeting a guy that I want to date, I’m to never compromise for him. Either he is just going to have to make a way to see me in Ireland or not at all.
•I should still be acting as if I’m moving there. I’m not going to be comfortable where I’m at in Delaware and should be completely uprooted.
•I’m also working a regular job until it is time to go, so I have money and I’m not struggling to live or pay rent in Ireland.
•This is still my dream and unless I land some massive role in a major motion picture, I’m not to be distracted from it.
This should be fairly easy as I have way less patience for people wasting my time like they did in the previous years. 2018 is officially the “Get My Life Together” year.