Some Thoughts…

(Source: Someecards.com)

This post is inspired by the recent article about the Non-Sexual Assault, but Sexual Coercion by Aziz Ansari to a young woman named “Grace”. I’ve read the article along with many think pieces and social media posts with various opinions. I have my own thoughts and conclusions, based upon what I read coupled with my own experience…however I’m not going to delve that deep. Rather, I want to talk about one glaring element in the original article and the screenshot of the text messages between Ansari and “Grace”:

the fleeting hope of having some sort of a romantic connection with a rich and famous man, while not being famous or rich yourself.

Let it go. It’s not going to happen.

This makes me sound like a total bitch and I’m sorry. It’s the truth and I want you to understand why.

Yes, there are very famous men who do end up meeting non-famous women and/or fans and end up becoming their girlfriends. However, you have a better chance at winning the lottery than that ever happening.

The reason is because you’re not in alignment with him.

I’m not here to tell you that famous men, primarily actors, are gross. Especially since my dating history consisted of mostly military men, I can say without a shadow of a doubt they are WORSE than actors when it comes to romance. The big thing I want to convey is that these type of men typically date within their station. Someone, who like them, achieved wealth and status. This is why there are so many showmances and scandals, because they date their co-workers who are like them. Why do you think Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle? Because she is within his station due to her success as an actress and a humanitarian. They shared common interests and their mutual friend felt safe to set them up. This relationship wouldn’t have worked if they were at odds with each other.

It’s alignment.

Now that’s not to say that “Grace” didn’t have some prestige. She was invited to the Emmys and all, but the only thing she had to find in common was to talk about an old camera Ansari was using…and that’s the ONLY common ground they had. Even then he brushed her off at first, which really should have been the tip that this wasn’t going to go her way. All I’m saying what “Grace” really should have done, is to continue to put her nose to the grindstone and work until she is the master of her craft. Then at that point, and only then, would she get the man she truly wants.

(Source: Facebook.)

With that said, do I feel that men like Ansari are blameless? No, absolutely not. Consent is important and it something that he, and other men can benefit to learn. What I am saying is that we need to stop chasing these stupid men. Accept the fact that you may be single for a while or never be with someone at all. It’s better than putting yourself in a position that harms you rather than serve you.

(Source: Facebook.)

Anyway, that’s my two cents on the subject.

🤔

(Source: Facebook.)

Not two hours after writing the previous post about entering into a field of land mines, a.k.a. gross people, in my industry, I ran into one of the people I used to work alongside with everyday. He said he couldn’t be happier that great things are happening to me, and he hopes my career blossoms in big ways this year.

(Source: Giphy. Ok but seriously, who is chopping onions in here!?)

Fine then. The gross people won’t stop me from being great. Which is a good thing too.

I’m strangely optimistic.

Now optimism isn’t the same as excitement. No. Besides, any time I get too excited, the rug gets ripped out from under my feet.

So I’m entering this field with a LOT of caution, some hope, and zero giddiness. I hope to report some progress soon.

The Belly of the Beast

(Source: Futurama FOX and Facebook.)

I booked my first job of the year yesterday morning. While I won’t share what the project is about, it does have a possibility of the footage being used on a national scale, which means it will also be my highest paying job. Needless to say, I was excited.

Then that bubble got popped. Later on I caught an article about James Franco and his involvement with teen girls and a revelation by Ally Sheedy. I guess it was a good thing I never worked on his project. Still I am complicit because I paid money to train at his school, paid money to see his film, and wrote a whole praise post about him.

Given how terrible the abuses are in this industry, it makes me wonder if I really should stay in? I know it’s wrong to assume that everyone in the industry is like that, or to try an jump ship so soon after making gains, but I just don’t know. All I do know is that I feel like a piece of crap right now.

Some Thoughts…

(Source: Facebook.)

I don’t have TV in my home right now. I haven’t had access since before I got laid off from my job and became homeless. Which leads me to watching everything by way of digital streaming and DVD. I didn’t watch the Golden Globes because of limited access, however, I tried to keep up with the program by way of recorded highlights and Twitter. There were two major takeaways I wanted to address because they involve a bit of shaming, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy.

First: Why are we shaming actresses who are not wearing black?

It wasn’t required dress code for the Golden Globes. It was an option to wear if you wanted to stand in solidarity with the women who were abused. That’s not an open invitation to abuse more women who chose not to wear black. We don’t know their stories or motivations as to why. Truthfully, it’s not our business to know. Much of the shaming came from other women too, which is incredibly disappointing and hypocritical.

Second: I understand the point Natalie Portman was trying to get across.

She was genuinely trying to call out the selection committee for not choosing any women directors for a nomination. Yeah that is wrong. The people that are siding with her, missed that major point and for some reason got mad at the nominees. Lest we not forget, Guillermo Del Toro, who is from Mexico; the country which bigoted constituents from my country are rallying to build a wall against; the country which our current leadership says has “Bad Hombres” coming from there; the country which our leadership deemed so dangerous, that they have emboldened ICE more than ever to rip families (including women) apart, and wrongfully profiled legal American citizens…

won.

Sometimes we get caught up in the marginalization of women that we forget about other marginalized groups as well. But I have already addressed that issue a few posts ago.

(Source: Facebook.)

Bots

(Source: Facebook.)

This meme was originally tweeted out in response to Don Cheadle’s retweeting of a random bot on Twitter. It was directed to the bot and not to Mr. Cheadle. I decided not to sully Mr. Cheadle’s tweet with my response and instead, I’m using it here. Why? Let me share the tweet. Just so you know, Don Cheadle is a real person, David Goodman in this account is not:

(Source: Twitter.)

So, a few thoughts…First and foremost, I’m getting super tired and annoyed with bots and real people telling celebrities, who engage in politics, to shut up and entertain. They are tax paying citizens just like the rest of us. Believe it or not, I get tax deductions taken out of my acting checks and so do they. It’s also very rude to say that all an actor, musician, athlete, celebrity of any sort is only there to be a minion and entertain you. Especially since you have no idea where they came from or how they became celebrities in the first place. Some come from wealthy families, others like myself, came from the dirt. Either way it’s still a job, so we are working just like anyone else on this planet.

Second, I’m getting REALLY sick and tired of troll accounts and bots that are coming out of the woodwork on all forms of social media. They are doing the absolute MOST to divide and piss everyone off. For example: yesterday, a troll account tried to spread a rumor that black women were boycotting the upcoming Black Panther movie. The reason was that Michael B. Jordan, who plays the villain in the film, has a non-black girlfriend in real life.

(Source: Facebook.)

Seriously?! No black women are boycotting this movie! We don’t care! We are watching this film! And yet, a bunch of men on Twitter believed it and tried to drag us! 🤦🏽‍♀️

(Source: Tenor.)

Aren’t people aware that there are more sinister things at work here? These distractions are placed there to ruin us and they’re working. Bots like the one Mr. Cheadle retweeted, should not have had any sort of engagement whatsoever, and yet here we are. He has a massive platform and now that bot has more exposure. That means more fake profiles and cyberattacks.

Instead, here is a good rule of thumb: just block them. It’s not like the admins of Twitter are really doing anything to solve the problem anyhow.

Stans

(Source: Urban Dictionary, contributed by Terminator-C)

As I logged onto Twitter this morning I saw a massive outcry about a video posted by YouTuber Logan Paul. Apparently he and his crew went to a forest in Japan that is said to be haunted by people who commit suicide there and no one is permitted to enter the forest. Not only did Paul and his crew break the rules, they also discovered a corpse that was hanging from a tree, then proceeded to laugh and joke about it. This is troubling as hell, but not as troubling as the fans who are defending him; which is what I want to talk about today.

We have a huge problem with Stanning here in the U.S. currently, and it has become increasingly frustrating and damaging to the human spirit as a whole. So far I have read online from a few of his Stans:

“He is just trying to raise awareness for suicide.”

“Laughing and joking is just a way to cope with something so shocking.”

My favorite one…”he is literally trying to save the world by raising awareness.”

(Source: Facebook.)

Nah.

What he attempted to do was give a half-assed lecture about suicide awareness as justification to post the videos and display his douchebaggery. He was not trying to save the world and only regretted the backlash he received from followers that are not Stans. His apology was equally as shitty.

(Source: Facebook.)

So what is the psychology behind Stanning? That I can’t explain. Though I do notice that it tends to happen, more often than not, to public people who see little to no repercussions for their actions. Even with this kind of backlash, Logan Paul will be able to worm his way out of it somehow and maybe that’s why they root for him…because they want to be able to get away with bad behavior.

(Source: Purplekecleon Tumblr.)

Even I had an exchange with a Stan. You can see in the comments section of my post “Dear Amber Rose” which they could not defend her rude comments about the women from Philadelphia. However if I listened to the rest of her interview it would somehow redeem her in my eyes. I took their recommendation and watched the whole interview and the result I came to was that her rude comment about Philly women contradicts her overall feminist message. No, she didn’t win me over.

(Source: Facebook.)

Which leads me to some thoughts about my situation. As you well know, I too work in the entertainment industry. I want to create good content and generate an audience that supports me and keeps me working. However, I don’t want to get to the point where I believe I’m untouchable. It’s already been a struggle to get to where I’m at presently, and sustaining it will be even harder. It may have to come down to whether the pressure to sustain is greater than the loss of leaving. While I’m not famous by any means, I think I will have to walk away if it comes to the point where I’m too comfortable to defend the indefensible, or I’m too passive and let Stans run wild.

In any case, it’s not healthy. No one should be held at the same pedestal as a Deity, no matter how famous or important you are.

Upcoming Podcast Interview, and a Blast From The Past

(Source: Urban Dictionary.)

Good news! One of the first bookings I have for the new year is a podcast. An acquaintance of mine launched a new website called Bored in DE, which details all of the interesting happenings in Delaware that doesn’t simply include drinking at the local watering hole or going to the new Italian restaurant around the corner (both of which are fairly common in this state.)

He is also highlighting many of the residents who are getting things done or have interesting careers. Prior to Joe Biden becoming our VP, Delaware was just a tiny speck on the map of the U.S. and well…we still are. It’s the reason why my Twitter account’s location is written as “Delawhere?” No one knows or cares where we are.

(Source: Wayne’s World)

Since I have an interesting career, I was invited along with two other actresses to sit down for a podcast interview that will also have a live broadcast on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine, Sara Jones, was just interviewed on the same podcast for her career in fashion: Anara Original, her blog: Blondie Jones, and her book: The Playbook to Essential Style; it was a great interview.

This isn’t the first time I was interviewed for a podcast. Last year during the summer of 2016, I was interviewed by Slate about my financial struggles. The podcast as far as I know hasn’t been released yet, which makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to share the link on this blog, but no such luck. Which brings me to my next topic on this post:

(Source: Jeffree Star’s Facebook Page.)

I wrote this comment two years ago before it was revealed that Jeffree Star made horrible racist comments which eventually led him to be canceled in my opinion. One of his fans liked my comment and I was half-tempted to delete it as I didn’t want to have any associations with him anymore. However I chose not to for a reason, this was my true story, and someone listened and liked it. I do need to make some corrections though because I had abridged an already long comment and I want everything I write to be consistent.

1) The job that I was living Paycheck to paycheck on was my HR job. I had previously posted how much easier it was to structure paying the bills and saving when working a 9-5 job. This was in fact the job I was referring to and I did save money…in the beginning. It was about a month later, was when I was living paycheck to paycheck after loaning my family money to live and my car kept breaking down. My savings was plundered and I wasn’t able to recover for a while. Hell, even now I’m still on shaky ground.

•I did find a job while I was on unemployment, working part-time at a restaurant. It was great timing too, because my unemployment money ran out not long after that. The only issue, I was making the same as I was on unemployment and I soon became homeless because, like I said, financial recovery took a really long time.

•I really didn’t have anything to lose by becoming an actress. I’m moving quickly for the time I started this career. It takes people up to a decade sometimes to get into SAG and I managed to accomplish it in only 2 years. I’m seriously looking forward to what the new year will bring. One of the projects I want to book begins the 2nd week of January. We’ll see what happens.

A Hard Promise To Myself

(Source: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bravo TV)

A concern was brought up to me by my mom and I’m in agreement with her. Since my school has officially been approved for deferment until September 2018, anything I do now must be dedicated to my success in school. She could care less that I go to school (I am an adult and can make my own decisions after all), but she knows that attending college overseas has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. She doesn’t want to see me lose it. So that leads me to make some hard promises and agreements with myself:

•If (in the unlikely event) of me meeting a guy that I want to date, I’m to never compromise for him. Either he is just going to have to make a way to see me in Ireland or not at all.

•I should still be acting as if I’m moving there. I’m not going to be comfortable where I’m at in Delaware and should be completely uprooted.

•I’m also working a regular job until it is time to go, so I have money and I’m not struggling to live or pay rent in Ireland.

•This is still my dream and unless I land some massive role in a major motion picture, I’m not to be distracted from it.

This should be fairly easy as I have way less patience for people wasting my time like they did in the previous years. 2018 is officially the “Get My Life Together” year.

Hollywood Feminism

(Source: The View ABC.)

I really wanted to avoid posting about this topic at all, however I cannot hold in what I feel about this anymore. Why? Let me show you the photo:

(Source: LA Times. What’s wrong with this picture?)

The reason why I call it “Hollywood Feminism” is due to the new wave of feminism made cool again, by famous women who are not of color, wealthy, cisgendered, and contemptuous of women who do sex work. We applaud these women and give them a damn medal, but the voices of women of color, transgender, and sex workers are missing. It just makes me want to throw up.

I will be flamed for this post, but I don’t care anymore. It makes it next to impossible for me to fight for the movement, when at the end of the day, my voice is neglected to be heard. No one cares, no one believes me, I don’t matter. So why should I bother?

(Source: Snapchat.)

There are ways to improve this narrative that is healthy for all: Like INCLUDING WOMEN OF COLOR IN THESE INTERVIEWS. Believe us when we also report that we have been sexually assaulted (side eyeing you Lena Dunham.)

Hire us, stop casting us in stereotypical roles, or whitewashing roles that are meant for us. Allow us to tell original stories and not reboot crap all of the time. It’s amazing what difference it will make in the long run.

End Rant.

Money Management

(Source: Facebook.)

It’s looking like I’m going to stay stateside. I had a conference call with my family yesterday and the money situation is so bad, that I’m not sure I would make it to February. My family would prefer that I still go as they are not happy about my decision (with the exception of my dad, who like me, sees that it is not sustainable.)

I still plan to go to school and I want to start in September of 2018; when the course cycle starts. Until then, there are some things I want to do here to make myself better prepared for success. Besides submitting my paperwork for the union, I also want to take a personal finance course. They offer these for free or low cost in my city.

I figure this would be a benefit to me since I have a hard time managing a varied income. When I worked traditional jobs, I was accustomed to seeing a regular check bi-weekly or weekly. When it was structured like that, it was very easy to stay on top of bills and manage a savings. Things went downhill after I was laid off and had to work jobs and gigs with varied incomes. Working at Starbucks did provide me some structure, but I made so little money that my financial situation was not improving. It’s been a scramble since then.

All of this came about when I watched a video by Marie Forleo. She talked about using her regular income to support her art, as opposed to having her art support her. As a result, she had less stress and was able to build her art/business into something that could actually support her. This is something I really want as I’m tired of struggling.