(Source: Facebook. I tried really hard to find the creator of this meme, but the only source I could find was a meme website, who also sourced it from Facebook. If someone knows who the original artist is, please let me know so I can edit this and give them credit.)
The Dumbest Publicity Stunt.
Oh brother! This post was an absolute doozy to write as the inspiration for it came from so many abstract things; all of which I have previously written about. The first, second, third, etc. drafts, were far too long to post here. So I’m going to start with the common denominator of each re-write…
Who here has ever revenge dated? Raise your hand:
Yes, I have revenge dated to get back at the guy who broke my heart. It wasn’t my proudest moment and it backfired on me. He didn’t notice or care. Plus, I made a giant fool of myself.
Which led me to my next question: what if famous people revenge dated and made a publicity stunt of it?
Please, hear me out.
Recently, one of the abstract things that struck me as inspiration for this post was a specific storyline from the Ace Attorney game series. It’s titled “Farewell, My Turnabout.” A sub-plot in the story involves a revenge relationship. I realize it’s a video game and I highly doubt that anyone in real life would pull an equally convoluted revenge relationship (it does involve murder after all); however, the concept of it is not that far off. Art often imitates life, so who is to say that it hasn’t happened?
If I were famous and wanted to get back at the guy who broke my heart, I would probably take these steps to ensure a jealousy inducing relationship that doesn’t appear to be rooted in revenge.
1) I would have to find a “boo” who, like me, is also trying to get back at someone who hurt them. That way, there are no real feelings developing between us. We work harmoniously together in our fishing expedition to illicit a response from our intended targets. Yes, we would have to go on real dates so it doesn’t appear suspicious. Hide the truth with another truth.
2) I would keep some of the paparazzi and gossip columnists in my back pocket to write about my “relationship.” Divulging all of the information as an anonymous “source” and selling the story to various tabloids for quick cash. (Hey, why not make some money off of it too?)
3) Make sure that the intended targets catch wind of the relationship through mutual friends. The tricky part here would be convincing my friends that it’s a real relationship. (This is also potentially painful, because it means lying to your friends. When I revenge dated, I kept my friends out of it and told the guy directly. I preferred to keep trustworthy friendships over keeping him. I have no regrets.)
4) Have an escape contingency plan if the plot goes awry.
Of course, all of this hinges on the intended targets getting jealous over the new “relationship.” As I said, the guy who broke my heart didn’t give a rat’s ass, which is why it was a total failure.
It could work…but would the targets fight to win our love back? Or would they do the honorable “if you love them, let them go” move and stay out of the way? There are too many variables in this situation. That is why I call it The Dumbest Publicity Stunt. Yes, I’m dumb for having pulled this stunt in my personal life and I’m calling anyone else dumb for having tried it as well. It’s too much effort for too little gain.