Going Keto

(Source: Facebook.)

The company I’m enrolled as a distributor with, just launched a whole Ketogenic friendly coffee drink.

Friends unrelated to this company, and have no interest in this company; started talking about going Keto.

Two days ago, a K-Beauty blog I follow, talked about the benefits of going Keto for beautiful skin.

As one of my theatre friends once said: “When the Clue x 4 hits you over the head, you must listen.”

So now I have decided to go Keto.

(Source: Tom Davies and Witchcraft Down & Dirty Facebook page. This is the way I will be drinking tea from now on.)

I’m an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian. Unlike my vegan counterparts, I will eat animal products, just not the animal itself. Surely a vegan will flame me for eating dairy, however the big issue with my health (mentally and physically) is the over abundance of carbs and sugar (and not the caffeine and dairy as I originally thought.) Diabetes is also hereditary in my family, which means I have to keep my eye on it at all times.

There is also a lovely selection of the fruits and veggies I already eat that are included in the Keto diet (thank goodness.) The downside is having to let go of some of the things I love like bread (unless it’s low carb), pasta (I eat zoodles now), candy, alcohol (not really missing much here), sodas/fruit juices, potatoes, and other super starchy/high sugar fruits and veggies. Cheese, on the other hand, stays in the game.

(Source: Facebook. Dairy should still be consumed in moderation, but I will never let it go. I also have no intentions of getting married which should alleviate this problem.)

My first day on the diet was yesterday and I also included a cup of coffee with heavy cream and no sugar. I didn’t have a panic attack, and I had energy all day. As soon as I get my food right, my fitness will be next. I’m healing my body one step at a time.

Mad Money

(Source: Is featured on the bottom left of this meme and Pinterest.)

I’m definitely going all in with my acting career. However, I will always have some sort of a side hustle to keep me alive too. Why? Because of things like this, or like this; or the two instances of my loss of employment that both led to extreme poverty and initially to homelessness.

My mother passed down a term to me that she learned from her mother…”always have Mad Money.” If you are familiar with the term, great! For those that aren’t, all it means that if you are a woman who is on a date with a man that is untoward in any way, you always keep a store of cash on you to be able to take a cab home and buy your own dinner.

When it comes to work, it should be the same way. I nor you should be beholden to abuse by superiors because you really need the work; and although it is my dream to take my career as far as it can go, the entertainment industry is basically the Wild West when it comes down to workplace conduct. I would love to be able to have the freedom to walk away with my chosen finger in the air if I hear a producer, director, co-star, or any employer say “if you defy me, you’ll never work in this business again.” That is when you can walk away with confidence.

A Serious Topic

(Source: Ekhi-Guinea, Deviant Art.)

The artwork above is not meant to be funny. What it represents to me is what I see going on in the World right now. While it has been said that right now is the safest time to be alive and that media coverage just puts more emphasis on the negative; when you have events like the mass shooting in Las Vegas last night, Puerto Rico in peril, violence in Spain and Catalonia, and anger over athletes trying kneel for the deaths in the black community…I feel nothing but powerless and basically watching my planet die.

All of this seething hatred means there is a serious lack of love and deep rooted pain. We somehow need to disrupt the pattern or drown in it. But how?

Updates

(Source: The Simpsons and Fox. This is my current mood)

Hello! I didn’t mean to be so sparse in my writing, but I was all over the place both physically and mentally that I haven’t really been able to pull it together. I have good news and not so good news.

The good news first: I won my court case to get my medical bills paid from my car accident. My medical team did everything in their power to put me back together and my insurance wouldn’t pay for my care. Yesterday, my parents and I signed off on the paperwork to officially close the case and my medical team has now been paid.

The not so good news: My dad is still having issues related to his illness and has to be re-admitted to the hospital for another surgery and treatment. It’s not life threatening (at least I hope) but it is getting ridiculous and very upsetting.

What I do have upcoming: As I said previously, I’m stage managing at Bootless for Tick, Tick…Boom! Our preview shows are this weekend and we run our regular shows the first two weekends in October.

I have an audition during the day this Saturday for a SAG backed project as I am on the hunt for my last SAG waiver to get into the union. No matter what happens, I will at least know that I took a chance to achieve a goal.

After TTB finishes it’s run, I will have a small box office gig at the Penns Landing Playhouse in Philadelphia. It will be a fair little bit of money for me to earn while I’m working on other projects.

I’m still trying to book other gigs and maybe a part-time day job. I need to stack cash right now (especially since I may have to pay a large membership fee to SAG), so I’m looking for what will give me the most money. I may go back to bartending or serving for that.

That’s all I have for now.

My Neighbor…

Um…after a very long, panic attack filled week in New York, I just want to take some quiet time to recuperate. Sadly because of my neighbor, that was impossible. This is the same neighbor who had issues with a former roommate; which almost led to me having to fight the roommate, because they put their hands on my dad. This neighbor also had the cops come over to the building (because they started an argument with a different person), and now a different crazy person made a scene on our fire escape because of them…

Several issues with multiple people, but only one person at the scene of each crime. My neighbor.

Normally I try to stay out of it, because it really is none of my business. However, this is a full building and everyone that resides here is disturbed by the chaos. It’s really rude and one of my big motivators for leaving Delaware. Now if I can only get my anxiety under control and I will be gone for good.

My Nerves Are Bad

So this entire New York trip has triggered my anxiety so much, that I had a really bad panic attack yesterday on 9th Ave.

It’s not New York though. I was having the same issues, recently, while in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. The last time I had a really bad episode like this was in England back when I was 17; that ended with me fainting.

It’s weird though, because I’m not homesick or anything. Plus I have really enjoyed my time in all of those places and never once had an episode when I went to Japan 7 years ago.

I have had panic attacks throughout my adult life. However, they were very spotty and usually came after big stressors. (I have big stressors right now for sure.) The ones where I take trips though are very troubling and I want to get them under control.

I know what chemicals in my body trigger an attack. I also know that my thoughts don’t help either and I can maintain control. There are some things I am going to work on when I get home, like meditation and possibly start running to wear some of it off. It’s just frustrating to go through this right now.

September Is Shaping Up

(Me looking at the month ahead.)

Without getting too excited, I’m starting to make plans for this month.

If I didn’t mention this before, I will now; I’m stage managing at Bootless for their upcoming production of ‘Tick, Tick, BOOM’. Since my role is different from before, I don’t have to make as many appearances until closer to the run. (Though I am planning to see a couple of the un-required rehearsals to get a feeling of the show and ultimately find out what I need to do behind the scenes.)

In addition to that, I did end up booking the volunteer gig with NYFW! I will post the Eventbrite link if you are in the area and want to support a good cause.

Starting this upcoming weekend, with the additional day that I will be working NYFW, I’m planning on staying in New York for a week or so just exploring the area. I never really get to do that since I couldn’t really afford the luxury of staying in the city and really get my bearings. I’m also considering flexible work with some of the catering companies or the burlesque club up there; when I’m not here in Delaware for the show to make some extra money. (The catering gig would be better, but OMG to perform burlesque in NYC would be divine!)

Overall this should be a shift in perspective since I’m spending more time in New York without killing my wallet. Hopefully I come back with more money too!

I’m a Part-Time New Yorker

(Taken this past Monday on my way to my aunt’s place.)

“My mother away from my mother” as she likes to call herself; my aunt insists that I stay with her any time while I’m New York for work or training. This is a BIG deal as just staying in New York can be insanely expensive. My mom and I are so grateful to her that now I bring wine and flowers with every trip that I take.

As I sit here, still sad about what happened with Dublin, I look at the silver lining of this situation:

•Taking the background job on the show ‘Bull’ was super beneficial to me. I earned two SAG vouchers with one more to go and received solid career advice from the featured cast and crew. Because of that I now have clear goals on what to do next. If going to Dublin worked out, there’s a chance that I wouldn’t have taken this gig because it was too close to my departure date.

•One of the background cast members I worked with is also working NYFW. I offered my services as a stagehand and now I may have that as a gig. (More details to come.)

•I wouldn’t have had this opportunity to stay in NY when I wanted. Much of the reason why I wasn’t picking up speaking roles or booking agents in Philadelphia is because the city is so limited in this aspect. There’s just no space for me here even though it’s my closest market for work. If I want to take my career seriously (as my cast mate Jada would say) I have to be in New York.

•With that said, there is still plenty to do in Wilmington and Philadelphia. Both locations are strong contenders in live theatre and I still have work to do down here. Plus my business address will remain in Delaware, so this is not a permanent move.

Overall, this is a giant breakthrough for me. I feel more confident and ready to work. Since I will be in New York, I will continue my training up here. No it won’t count towards a degree but it will count on a resume and that is just as important.

In Today’s News

(Source: Kevin Gates, Facebook)

I just caught wind of the essay about a director, whose works I enjoy, and his ex-wife and I have thoughts about it.

I don’t think the infidelities is hypocritical of feminism. However, it is abusive and we should call him for what he is: an abuser. This is not a bash against her, because her pain is VALID. As someone who has dealt with the same type of man herself, let me reword this in bullet points to convey a stronger message:

•A man or woman who puts their partner’s (and the people they cheated with) health and mental wellbeing in jeopardy is an abuser.

•A man or woman who gaslights his or her partner (and the people they cheated with) and doesn’t truly allow that partner to walk away and heal is an abuser.

•A man or woman who fights for equality, but is abusive to their partner is not a hypocrite; ACTUALLY, true equality comes from the fact that they are both free to be absolutely shitty human beings. (Terrible, but true.)

•A man or woman who is publicly self-righteous about being faithful, but is committing infidelities out of the public eye is a hypocrite.

•This will affect her with future decisions in picking a partner.

•This will deteriorate her trust in love.

•This will affect any mutual friendships they had.

•This has changed her entire life for better or for worse.

And for that, I pray for her peace and healing.

Finally Some Good News!

I booked background on a show my grandma loves to watch. But that’s not the good news: the good news is I will be working 4 days on this show which means MONEY!!! 💵💵💵

(Source: Pinterest)

I put in for the job in the first place because of my grandma. Even though I have worked on other shows, the shows themselves could not hold her interest, even though she wanted to see me. With a show she loves and such a big scene (they added the fourth date for me today) it would be impossible for her not to watch!

Still, I remain cautious. I’ve been booked on jobs that kind of ripped the rug out from under my feet and said they didn’t need me anymore. So I’m not getting my hopes up too far until I’m actually on set. It sucks to fly by the seat of my pants.