The Weird Is Beginning To Show Itself

(Source: Facebook.)

I’m into the third week of my new job and it’s already starting with the nonsense. So far I have already received unsolicited life advice from someone I’m pretty sure is 15 years younger than me, cattiness between coworkers, and cranky customers. While I know this is typical of any job, I had sincerely hoped that I was going to enter into a more pleasant environment. Especially since management is cool with working with my schedule.

I just have to remember that all of this is helping me with my career goals and it’s not permanent.

Wiped Out

(Source: Facebook.)

I’m tired.

My trip to New York wasn’t exactly restful due to the fact that I had to come back late last night in order to work this morning. But this is my life now.

I didn’t mention the new job I’m working at now, simply because I wasn’t trying to jinx it. I had post back in March, talking about a job that couldn’t stick to my availability. I had to quit that job and remain worried about money for the next month and a half.

I’m happy to be working somewhere and the job isn’t bad. My financial goals for SAG and Dublin are still on track.

The Wedding 👰🏽

(Source: Facebook.)

You know which wedding I’m talking about.

Wow.

Meghan was absolutely stunning and Harry was so happy. They looked so in love…I’m still an emotional pile right now.

As I said when they first got engaged, I’m living vicariously through them. With a history of bad dating experiences, coupled with financial struggles, I just can’t see myself ever getting married. Would it be nice? Yes. But my life sucks right now and I’m fighting hard to fix it. There’s no time for a guy. Plus many of them didn’t match well with me.

The only marriage I will have, is the one to my career. Cheers to that.

Manhattan Monologue Slam

(Source: Thespian Peacock Tumblr and Pinterest.)

I got a last minute invite to the Manhattan Monologue Slam. Believe it or not, I have never heard of this showcase until a couple of weeks ago. One of the background actresses I met on the set of Creed 2 was inviting a group of us to be a part of the Philadelphia branch of this project. They weren’t able to pull off the May start date like they wanted, so instead we were invited to the original in NYC.

They only give us 30 seconds of time to perform a monologue. If they like us, we can move on to a bigger event where we would perform a 1-2 minute monologue. Either way it is a good event to attend as there are agents, celebrities, casting directors, and a slew of creatives in the audience watching you. The event itself is great for networking.

My biggest hope is to perform the monologue all the way through. I chose a brief part from the play ‘Carmilla’ that I was in as that would be most comfortable for me. The last time I attempted to perform one, I bombed it and had a panic attack during my audition for ‘Twelfth Night.’……………………………………………………………Please Jesus, see me through this.

Celebrities Are Not Babysitters

(Source: Facebook.)

There’s been several people complaining on Twitter about appetite suppressants being sold by Kim Kardashian. Their anger is that she is promoting it to impressionable youth. How dare her?!

Let me be clear…I don’t like Kim Kardashian or her family. I think they get way too much press and to quote something I tweeted earlier: she enjoys wearing the cloak of a sex worker without any of the backlash. With that being said, I think people are making this a bigger thing than it is.

I sell diet products and I have used appetite suppressants recently. But if I were to tell you that, in my youth, a celebrity compelled me to be skinny, I would tell you no.

For me it started at home. Not to air out my dirty laundry, but my mom complained about being fat (she never was) all of the time. That mindset trickled down to me, which is where most of my issues regarding weight come from. So if kids are desperate to use this product, the people who raised them is where I would look to first. Besides, if she really is in charge leading youth to follow in her image, then their parents really are failing to guide them properly.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

Cliché Dream

(Source: Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh.)

You know that dream that everyone has once in their lives? The one where you show up to take a test you didn’t study for?

I had that, but instead, I wasn’t prepared for a show and my director admonished me for it.

The funny thing is it started out with the director giving me the script and said come in for tomorrow for the first rehearsal. I did that and the first rehearsal ended up being the show instead. I asked for the cast to take a vote because they were more prepared than I was, if they wanted me to leave. They preferred that I face my shame and go on with the performance like normal.

My dream basically set me up to fail and I wondered what this meant in my conscious life. No production would ever run this way, but it is a common dream amongst many of us. Is the unpreparedness a signal that we are on the wrong path? Like if we were given a quiz or a script we didn’t prepare for, is the dream telling us that we are not prepared for an important moment in our lives.

For me I’m going to say yes.

I’m trying extra hard to do the right thing, taking on extra jobs, setting myself up for success in Ireland, but something in my gut is screaming “WRONG WAY!!!” My only hope is to figure out the right way soon, so I’m not wasting my time.

Another Dream

(Taken on May 3 in New York.)

This time it was a good dream: I receive an email about finally getting to work on a project that I have been waiting on.

The real question is, how does this play out in reality? Right now I’m taking on work that is as close to the industry as I can get. However, even with all that I have accomplished, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.

This dream that I had gave me a sliver of hope. Fingers crossed on a breakthrough.

Men…*sigh*

(Source: Twitter…I want to hug the person who made this meme.)

Let’s talk about men for a second. In previous posts I have been getting on women’s cases about “Hollywood Feminism.” Or how Amber Rose unnecessarily threw shade on women from her hometown of Philadelphia. There was also my bit about the problematic male director who was accused of not being a feminist, because he was a horrible husband. Finally the Aziz Ansari story break, in which I noticed that the woman who accused him of rape, pushed a little too far to get him to like her.

If you think this makes me anti-woman, you would be incorrect. We as women, unfortunately, are held to an impossibly high and/or double standard by men for several millennia. Somehow we have to be drop-dead gorgeous, be domestic, smart…but not smarter than the man interested in us (otherwise we would be seen as intimidating), be nurturing, and sex goddesses all at the same time. Even though I have called out women in the past, it’s because they are trying to play the same game that men do.

Let me repeat that:

WOMEN👏🏽SHOULD👏🏽NOT👏🏽PLAY 👏🏽THE 👏🏽SAME👏🏽STUPID👏🏽GAME👏🏽THAT👏🏽MEN👏🏽DO👏🏽

(Source: Twitter.)

I read a couple of posts on Twitter today, that inspired this post.

1) The celebrity who put his wife on blast about their sex life and the double standard that he holds for her. He was rightfully roasted for what he said, because it was absolutely atrocious. (I sincerely hope there is some sort of apology or divorce in the future.)

2) “Incels” or “Involuntarily Celebate” men who direct their rage towards women with fantasies or rape and torture.

What it ultimately tells me is that men are incredibly insecure. I figure it’s how they were raised by the generation of men before them.

•Where it’s not ok to express themselves except with rage.

•They were taught the world owes them something. Women owe them something. They are entitled because they are men!

•Their measure of worth is determined by how much is in their bank account, or their public status.

•How much sex they get as opposed to the quality of sex they get.

It pains me to say this, but it’s only going to get worse from here. It also saddens me that I know what you’re going to say next:

Not all men.

(Source: Facebook.)

Until those angelic, non-problematic men call out and correct the archaic system by which they run society, we will remain at a stalemate.

A Very Obvious Publicity Stunt

(Source: memegenerator.net and Facebook.)

Black Slaves did opt out of slavery…it was called The Underground Railroad, and that mission for freedom was fraught with danger.

But that is beside the point.

This is a publicity stunt performed by, what many call, a malignant narcissist. I’ve been talking about publicity stunts for the last few posts and I find the act to be fascinating. Mainly because it begs the question:

What depth is a celebrity willing to go, to make money?

In my “expert” opinion, as someone who takes many odd jobs for a quick buck, I would say this particular depth is somewhere near the Earth’s core.

However, I don’t have it in me to throw my ancestors under the bus. My elders raised me on the stories of our family’s past. It’s too horrific for me to deny or diminish what happened to them for a dollar. That’s plain evil.

Again With The Spoilers!

(Source: Futurama FOX.)

Apparently people didn’t read the Russo Brothers’ memo to stay silent for the people, like myself, who haven’t seen the movie. It only opened this past Friday and people were blabbing about by Sunday.

Seriously, Fuck You.

I’m going dark on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for a bit.