The Wedding 👰🏽

(Source: Facebook.)

You know which wedding I’m talking about.

Wow.

Meghan was absolutely stunning and Harry was so happy. They looked so in love…I’m still an emotional pile right now.

As I said when they first got engaged, I’m living vicariously through them. With a history of bad dating experiences, coupled with financial struggles, I just can’t see myself ever getting married. Would it be nice? Yes. But my life sucks right now and I’m fighting hard to fix it. There’s no time for a guy. Plus many of them didn’t match well with me.

The only marriage I will have, is the one to my career. Cheers to that.

Celebrities Are Not Babysitters

(Source: Facebook.)

There’s been several people complaining on Twitter about appetite suppressants being sold by Kim Kardashian. Their anger is that she is promoting it to impressionable youth. How dare her?!

Let me be clear…I don’t like Kim Kardashian or her family. I think they get way too much press and to quote something I tweeted earlier: she enjoys wearing the cloak of a sex worker without any of the backlash. With that being said, I think people are making this a bigger thing than it is.

I sell diet products and I have used appetite suppressants recently. But if I were to tell you that, in my youth, a celebrity compelled me to be skinny, I would tell you no.

For me it started at home. Not to air out my dirty laundry, but my mom complained about being fat (she never was) all of the time. That mindset trickled down to me, which is where most of my issues regarding weight come from. So if kids are desperate to use this product, the people who raised them is where I would look to first. Besides, if she really is in charge leading youth to follow in her image, then their parents really are failing to guide them properly.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

Men…*sigh*

(Source: Twitter…I want to hug the person who made this meme.)

Let’s talk about men for a second. In previous posts I have been getting on women’s cases about “Hollywood Feminism.” Or how Amber Rose unnecessarily threw shade on women from her hometown of Philadelphia. There was also my bit about the problematic male director who was accused of not being a feminist, because he was a horrible husband. Finally the Aziz Ansari story break, in which I noticed that the woman who accused him of rape, pushed a little too far to get him to like her.

If you think this makes me anti-woman, you would be incorrect. We as women, unfortunately, are held to an impossibly high and/or double standard by men for several millennia. Somehow we have to be drop-dead gorgeous, be domestic, smart…but not smarter than the man interested in us (otherwise we would be seen as intimidating), be nurturing, and sex goddesses all at the same time. Even though I have called out women in the past, it’s because they are trying to play the same game that men do.

Let me repeat that:

WOMEN👏🏽SHOULD👏🏽NOT👏🏽PLAY 👏🏽THE 👏🏽SAME👏🏽STUPID👏🏽GAME👏🏽THAT👏🏽MEN👏🏽DO👏🏽

(Source: Twitter.)

I read a couple of posts on Twitter today, that inspired this post.

1) The celebrity who put his wife on blast about their sex life and the double standard that he holds for her. He was rightfully roasted for what he said, because it was absolutely atrocious. (I sincerely hope there is some sort of apology or divorce in the future.)

2) “Incels” or “Involuntarily Celebate” men who direct their rage towards women with fantasies or rape and torture.

What it ultimately tells me is that men are incredibly insecure. I figure it’s how they were raised by the generation of men before them.

•Where it’s not ok to express themselves except with rage.

•They were taught the world owes them something. Women owe them something. They are entitled because they are men!

•Their measure of worth is determined by how much is in their bank account, or their public status.

•How much sex they get as opposed to the quality of sex they get.

It pains me to say this, but it’s only going to get worse from here. It also saddens me that I know what you’re going to say next:

Not all men.

(Source: Facebook.)

Until those angelic, non-problematic men call out and correct the archaic system by which they run society, we will remain at a stalemate.

A Very Obvious Publicity Stunt

(Source: memegenerator.net and Facebook.)

Black Slaves did opt out of slavery…it was called The Underground Railroad, and that mission for freedom was fraught with danger.

But that is beside the point.

This is a publicity stunt performed by, what many call, a malignant narcissist. I’ve been talking about publicity stunts for the last few posts and I find the act to be fascinating. Mainly because it begs the question:

What depth is a celebrity willing to go, to make money?

In my “expert” opinion, as someone who takes many odd jobs for a quick buck, I would say this particular depth is somewhere near the Earth’s core.

However, I don’t have it in me to throw my ancestors under the bus. My elders raised me on the stories of our family’s past. It’s too horrific for me to deny or diminish what happened to them for a dollar. That’s plain evil.

The Dumbest Publicity Stunt

(Source: Facebook. I tried really hard to find the creator of this meme, but the only source I could find was a meme website, who also sourced it from Facebook. If someone knows who the original artist is, please let me know so I can edit this and give them credit.)

The Dumbest Publicity Stunt.

Oh brother! This post was an absolute doozy to write as the inspiration for it came from so many abstract things; all of which I have previously written about. The first, second, third, etc. drafts, were far too long to post here. So I’m going to start with the common denominator of each re-write…

Revenge Dating.

Who here has ever revenge dated? Raise your hand:

🙋🏽‍♀️

Yes, I have revenge dated to get back at the guy who broke my heart. It wasn’t my proudest moment and it backfired on me. He didn’t notice or care. Plus, I made a giant fool of myself.

Which led me to my next question: what if famous people revenge dated and made a publicity stunt of it?

Please, hear me out.

Recently, one of the abstract things that struck me as inspiration for this post was a specific storyline from the Ace Attorney game series. It’s titled “Farewell, My Turnabout.” A sub-plot in the story involves a revenge relationship. I realize it’s a video game and I highly doubt that anyone in real life would pull an equally convoluted revenge relationship (it does involve murder after all); however, the concept of it is not that far off. Art often imitates life, so who is to say that it hasn’t happened?

If I were famous and wanted to get back at the guy who broke my heart, I would probably take these steps to ensure a jealousy inducing relationship that doesn’t appear to be rooted in revenge.

1) I would have to find a “boo” who, like me, is also trying to get back at someone who hurt them. That way, there are no real feelings developing between us. We work harmoniously together in our fishing expedition to illicit a response from our intended targets. Yes, we would have to go on real dates so it doesn’t appear suspicious. Hide the truth with another truth.

2) I would keep some of the paparazzi and gossip columnists in my back pocket to write about my “relationship.” Divulging all of the information as an anonymous “source” and selling the story to various tabloids for quick cash. (Hey, why not make some money off of it too?)

3) Make sure that the intended targets catch wind of the relationship through mutual friends. The tricky part here would be convincing my friends that it’s a real relationship. (This is also potentially painful, because it means lying to your friends. When I revenge dated, I kept my friends out of it and told the guy directly. I preferred to keep trustworthy friendships over keeping him. I have no regrets.)

4) Have an escape contingency plan if the plot goes awry.

Of course, all of this hinges on the intended targets getting jealous over the new “relationship.” As I said, the guy who broke my heart didn’t give a rat’s ass, which is why it was a total failure.

It could work…but would the targets fight to win our love back? Or would they do the honorable “if you love them, let them go” move and stay out of the way? There are too many variables in this situation. That is why I call it The Dumbest Publicity Stunt. Yes, I’m dumb for having pulled this stunt in my personal life and I’m calling anyone else dumb for having tried it as well. It’s too much effort for too little gain.

Tribeca Day 3

(Taken yesterday. The red carpet is behind me.)

I’m skipping ahead to day 3 because there wasn’t much to report on day 2. All day 2 consisted of, was me running around a giant labyrinth of a movie theatre with grumpy press people grumbling at me. Day 3 was significantly better.

Besides making great connections with my fellow crew members, yesterday was a premier day. We had three screenings:

•Bathtubs Over Broadway

•The Seagull

•Zoe

The event was also star studded, so once again the red carpet was lit up with paparazzi.

I made a post on Facebook with the photo you see above with the caption: “hopefully one day I will be on the red carpet and not by accident.” This statement holds true for me. While I would never seek fame (like some people I see online), I do want the opportunity to work on my craft. Not everyone that walked the red carpet at Tribeca was featured in a tabloid, but they were acknowledged at the festival for the incredible job they did on their respective films. Is that too much for me to ask?

The big highlight of the night was that the theatre manager gave up a free ticket to the Orange Hat Crew which I’m a part of. The ticket was given to me and I had the opportunity to watch the final movie ‘Zoe’ after I clocked out of my shift. It stars Léa Seydoux (who’s character Madeleine Swann in ‘Spectre’ I disliked, but I liked her in ‘Zoe’) and Ewan McGregor. They also participated in a Q&A panel afterward to discuss the process of making the film.

Saturday was a good work day. I’m looking forward to my final two shifts on Monday and Tuesday before heading home. I’ll be back in Tribeca for the Crew party in early May.

Rocktopia

(Source: Broadway.com)

I’m heading to Broadway tomorrow! This weekend, I’m required to register with Tribeca to complete my paperwork and pick up my credentials for access to the festival. At the same time, my friend and former castmate from ‘Orange Is The New Musical’, Yvette, is performing in the show ‘Rocktopia’ on Broadway. She has been posting pictures of her experience left and right, and I’m super happy for her. To lend my support, I bought a ticket to see the show and let her know I’m going. I’ll post pictures on Instagram after the show.

I’m Depressed

(Source: Facebook.)

My depression works in mysterious ways. There are days when the reality of my situation is a little too bleak; I’m lonely; or my favorite, absolutely no reason at all.

Today, all three of them are rearing their ugly heads at me, making it a difficult day. What I normally try to do is write a gratitude journal or write to God about my feelings. Sadly, I have a number of writing jobs besides journaling, and I haven’t accomplished any of them; with the exception of this post.

It could be Mercury Retrograde kicking my butt. However, I don’t find that likely. It doesn’t hit me as hard as it does for my friends. I will concede that I have been restless, having weird dreams (which are weighing heavily on my mind), and losing the job I thought would save me. I believe these things are adding fuel to the fire.

Speaking of the dreams…

I don’t know if my loneliness is spurring on the dreams, or if the dreams are spurring on my loneliness; but I keep dreaming that I meet my future boyfriend.

The reason why this is depressing is because I have had recurring dreams about this mystery guy for the better part of a decade to no avail. As I mentioned in previous posts, most of my dreams do translate to reality somehow, but not this one for some reason. I’ve dreamt about my first boyfriend a week before I met him. I’ve dreamt about the guy, who eventually ripped my heart to shreds, a couple of days before I met him (I curse the fact that my dreams didn’t tell me to run from him sooner.) If I were to interpret this dream, I would say that it’s my inner desire to be loved, not necessarily that it’s supposed to happen in real life. He is a fictional character meant to keep me hopeful so I don’t give up on life. It’s weird though, the dreams are frequent and extremely strong right now compared to the past. I don’t know what to think anymore, I’m so confused.

Anyway, this was something I wanted to get off my chest. Honestly writing about it, even though it’s public, is helping me quite a bit. Thanks for listening.

Celebrity Gossip…

(Source: Facebook.)

As I mentioned before: I loathe celebrity gossip and tabloids. I really don’t care what goes on in their day to day lives; however, a story broke from Tiffany Haddish, detailing the night she took a selfie with Beyoncé.

Apparently a heavily drugged up actress, bit Beyoncé on her face, and Tiffany was about to whoop the actress’s behind. Beyoncé put a stop to the impending altercation, hence the photo….

Beyoncé is a better person than me.

Because, IF A HEIFER PUT HER NASTY MOUTH ON ME, ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE!!!

I’m not a member of the “Beyhive” and probably never will be, but this is foul! People have no sense of boundaries and that’s why we have friggin’ problems like this.

(Source: Facebook.)

Beyoncé is too nice and should have allowed Tiffany to shut it down. If I continue to work in this industry, I’m going to have to maintain a high guard to stay away from all of these shenanigans.

Ewwww…

Wow, Wow, and More Wow!

(Source: Facebook.)

I have an amazing support group. I quit my very brief job at the restaurant and in the same week, one of my closest friends set up a fundraiser on my behalf! The fundraiser will provide the down payment I need to get into SAG. I can pay off the rest while I’m working on projects. Plus, I still have my two jobs at the pole studio and the independent movie theatre which will help me stay alive. I’m beyond words of how grateful I am to her and everyone that gave me money. My biggest wish is to work on a major project, with a decent sized part, so they can see where their investment took me.