Going Keto

(Source: Facebook.)

The company I’m enrolled as a distributor with, just launched a whole Ketogenic friendly coffee drink.

Friends unrelated to this company, and have no interest in this company; started talking about going Keto.

Two days ago, a K-Beauty blog I follow, talked about the benefits of going Keto for beautiful skin.

As one of my theatre friends once said: “When the Clue x 4 hits you over the head, you must listen.”

So now I have decided to go Keto.

(Source: Tom Davies and Witchcraft Down & Dirty Facebook page. This is the way I will be drinking tea from now on.)

I’m an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian. Unlike my vegan counterparts, I will eat animal products, just not the animal itself. Surely a vegan will flame me for eating dairy, however the big issue with my health (mentally and physically) is the over abundance of carbs and sugar (and not the caffeine and dairy as I originally thought.) Diabetes is also hereditary in my family, which means I have to keep my eye on it at all times.

There is also a lovely selection of the fruits and veggies I already eat that are included in the Keto diet (thank goodness.) The downside is having to let go of some of the things I love like bread (unless it’s low carb), pasta (I eat zoodles now), candy, alcohol (not really missing much here), sodas/fruit juices, potatoes, and other super starchy/high sugar fruits and veggies. Cheese, on the other hand, stays in the game.

(Source: Facebook. Dairy should still be consumed in moderation, but I will never let it go. I also have no intentions of getting married which should alleviate this problem.)

My first day on the diet was yesterday and I also included a cup of coffee with heavy cream and no sugar. I didn’t have a panic attack, and I had energy all day. As soon as I get my food right, my fitness will be next. I’m healing my body one step at a time.

Mad Money

(Source: Is featured on the bottom left of this meme and Pinterest.)

I’m definitely going all in with my acting career. However, I will always have some sort of a side hustle to keep me alive too. Why? Because of things like this, or like this; or the two instances of my loss of employment that both led to extreme poverty and initially to homelessness.

My mother passed down a term to me that she learned from her mother…”always have Mad Money.” If you are familiar with the term, great! For those that aren’t, all it means that if you are a woman who is on a date with a man that is untoward in any way, you always keep a store of cash on you to be able to take a cab home and buy your own dinner.

When it comes to work, it should be the same way. I nor you should be beholden to abuse by superiors because you really need the work; and although it is my dream to take my career as far as it can go, the entertainment industry is basically the Wild West when it comes down to workplace conduct. I would love to be able to have the freedom to walk away with my chosen finger in the air if I hear a producer, director, co-star, or any employer say “if you defy me, you’ll never work in this business again.” That is when you can walk away with confidence.

Gucci SS18…My Complaints

(Source: Pinterest)

I’m back. After several days of rest and recuperation to try and get my anxiety under control, one of the things I did as a functioning human was watch the Gucci SS18 show live from Facebook.

I consider runway shows to be as much a theatrical event as I do live theatre. As a brand you want to put on a good show for your audience, but I had some issues with this show in particular.

The Lighting:

Pre-show they had normal “work” lights on for the attendees to take their seats. With the drone cameras flying above, you could see this beautiful set inspired by Ancient Rome and Egypt as well as a massive, winding runway. Along with that set you could see that the guest list for this show was incredibly large as there were many butts in seats. Once the show started, the workers went off, the room went dark, the strobes began, and continued throughout the entire show.

Aside from the main area where all of the photographers and videographers were stationed to capture the clothes, there was no light. This is a disservice to the remainder of the audience (who are also members of the fashion industry in their own right) because they are not privileged enough to sit in the designated area to see the collection.

Also I noticed during the final tracing of the runway the lights literally went off in some sections. It was so dark, that it took a few moments for the audience to understand that they were doing a final trace and didn’t clap initially. Plus a dark runway is incredibly dangerous for the models. The set and lighting designers should have given them the courtesy of spiking the runway with glow tape, so they don’t crash into the audience.

The strobe lighting gave me a headache and I was watching on video. I could only imagine what the live audience suffered through.

The Pacing of the Show:

I’m not at all bashing the collection or the models. The collection was beautiful, from what I could see, but that is also a major problem I had with the show. The models were practically racing down the runway! Since I have experience walking in runway shows, I’m sure they were given the direction to continue walking at a fast pace and don’t stop for the cameras. Yes, they practically had an army working this show. Still, if they couldn’t stop to pose, at least let them walk at a slower pace for the small portion of the audience that had good lighting.

I’m going to have to look at the photos later to really look at the clothes. The production value of this show was piss poor with the set, the collection, and the lighting wasted.

I’m a Part-Time New Yorker

(Taken this past Monday on my way to my aunt’s place.)

“My mother away from my mother” as she likes to call herself; my aunt insists that I stay with her any time while I’m New York for work or training. This is a BIG deal as just staying in New York can be insanely expensive. My mom and I are so grateful to her that now I bring wine and flowers with every trip that I take.

As I sit here, still sad about what happened with Dublin, I look at the silver lining of this situation:

•Taking the background job on the show ‘Bull’ was super beneficial to me. I earned two SAG vouchers with one more to go and received solid career advice from the featured cast and crew. Because of that I now have clear goals on what to do next. If going to Dublin worked out, there’s a chance that I wouldn’t have taken this gig because it was too close to my departure date.

•One of the background cast members I worked with is also working NYFW. I offered my services as a stagehand and now I may have that as a gig. (More details to come.)

•I wouldn’t have had this opportunity to stay in NY when I wanted. Much of the reason why I wasn’t picking up speaking roles or booking agents in Philadelphia is because the city is so limited in this aspect. There’s just no space for me here even though it’s my closest market for work. If I want to take my career seriously (as my cast mate Jada would say) I have to be in New York.

•With that said, there is still plenty to do in Wilmington and Philadelphia. Both locations are strong contenders in live theatre and I still have work to do down here. Plus my business address will remain in Delaware, so this is not a permanent move.

Overall, this is a giant breakthrough for me. I feel more confident and ready to work. Since I will be in New York, I will continue my training up here. No it won’t count towards a degree but it will count on a resume and that is just as important.

Journaling

There is a lot going on in this world right now, as well as in my personal life. Like I detailed before, much of it I was advised not to talk about on this blog. Because of that advice, I'm keeping it all within a journal. Not hard since I already keep one for work. The sad thing is, looking at my words written down reflects how truly low and angry I feel. I'm beginning to see where hate stems from: inadequacy and broken dreams.

The Background Actress’s Guide to Costuming


(Circa: Late July 2017 on the set of “Isn’t It Romantic?”, dress $16 from Clothes Mentor West Chester.)

Originally I had pitched this idea to Racked.com as a contributing writer. However they declined because they had articles of a similar nature. I was going to pass on writing this for my own blog. However, the store that I purchased the above cocktail dress from is hiring, so now this essay has become relevant.

Where to start? The beauty about working a background scene is that they give you a list of examples of how you need to dress for the scene. Like:

Gucci
Zara
Tory Burch
Prada
Etc.

They will also give you visual examples of cuts and fabric, plus what tones they need you to wear. Much of this depends on the scene you are shooting too. If you are playing a lawyer, obviously you would be expected to wear a suit of some kind. Playing a hipster would require a different wardrobe and so on and so forth. If they give you specific brand names as the type of look they are going for, it would behoove you to do some research. The best place for this is Instagram, with the next being Pinterest. Look at how your favorite celebrities dress and that will help you.

The roles I typically get picked for require me to be a wealthy, socialite type. Think Hillary from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:


(Source: IMDB.com)

When you’re in my position of very little money and expected to look rich; what do you do?

This is where my friend the consignment store comes to play! The gold dress I’m wearing above is from a higher end retail chain. It’s original price is closer to, if not above, $100. Yet I only paid $16 for the dress and an additional $20 for all of the jewelry. (The purse I received as a gift and the shoes were on loan from the wardrobe department, since my original pair were considered to be too shiny.)

The next thing you need to do is to bring options. Yes, I bought and used this dress specifically for this shoot. However, if the director’s vision for this scene has changed in any way, it is as simple as changing into a different outfit.

A warning though: if you only brought one option this will force the wardrobe department to loan out an outfit and take your pay voucher (and maybe your driver’s license too) for safe keeping until it’s returned. This also means that you have to be extremely careful with the clothes (which you should anyway whether it’s yours or theirs) and make sure you don’t cause damage of any kind. (Or that could affect your pay or chances of being hired for other shoots in the future. One of the shoots I did, an actor walked out with a suit that was loaned to them. Needless to say that person didn’t get paid and is more than likely not working for that agency ever again.)

A few other things I keep on me for the shoot as well:

A jacket or hoodie (for when it gets cold.)

A luggage lock (so no one tries to break into your bag.)

Lotion that absorbs well. (So it doesn’t damage the clothes.)

A stain removal pen.

Deodorant that dries clear.

A robe or some kind of covering you can wear while eating or applying makeup.

A couple of other things I would add would be:

1) never bring real jewelry to a set. There was an unfortunate instance of an actress that brought real gold bracelets to the set and lost them, only to never find them again. Even if you get camera time, no one is going to know the difference; so keep it fake at all costs.

2) don’t wear anything with a very distinct pattern or logo. Production crews do a magic trick what’s called “cheating the shot.” Meaning to make a scene look like it has more people than there really are hired on set. They do this in many different ways, by adding an accessory, or changing your hair or putting you in deep background. This means more camera time for you, so help them out!

I hoped you liked this essay as much as I liked writing it. I also hope I get the job at this particular consignment store since I do get a lot of my clothes from there. Fingers Crossed 🤞

IKEA


(Source: Greg Mania on Twitter.)

The new IKEA catalog came out and I received it in the mail yesterday. It's a little bittersweet especially since I'm no longer moving to Ireland. What I like about it is that it gets the wheels turning in my head. What would my future home look like and where will it be? I already know from having cleaned large mansions that I really want something small and modest. This is funny since it goes against my zodiac of Taurus, who lives for luxury and having many expensive things to brag about.

But…I was recently very poor and at one point: homeless, so having the largest and most expensively filled home is not on my priority list. I'd rather have that money in my pocket for emergencies, the occasional splurge every now and then, and the freedom of time. As much as I like to work, I don't want to work so much to maintain my home that I don't get to enjoy living in it. My first priority is to move out from where I am right now. (Probably to Philadelphia.) Next will be to furnish my home. (IKEA!) After that, lots and lots of gigs mixed with couch potato time.

It May Be a Good Thing

My relative and I reached out to officials at my school to discuss the issues of my funding to see if there was anything I can do or not. There really wasn’t much I could do in this situation and that may be a good thing as opportunities are opening up here stateside. On the off chance that I no longer permitted to reapply to my first choice school I’m also looking at alternatives for a theatre degree. I really had my heart set on moving to Dublin and that may still happen but with a different school. I have 2 options I can do now:

The Gaiety School of Acting, which is where Colin Farrell and Olivia Wilde attended.

The Lir National Academy of Dramatic Art in Trinity College; whose courses were developed by the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, England.

Both are very fine schools. Applications and auditions for The Lir happen in October so I will have to move very quickly on this. The next thing is to pick up a regular job and store all of the cash that I can to hustle my butt over there.

Mental Health Week!

After taking two major hits within this month, I’m following up with my promise of taking a hiatus. The reason why it’s a week, and not longer, is due to the fact that I submitted myself to several projects before these traumatic experiences happened. Now they are calling me back to shoot soon (I still have to pay bills you know.) 

To help with that, I’m taking some time off of social media. In the past I would attempt to go ghost with little success. This time it’s absolutely necessary. The reason being, is that I’m connected to so many industry related sites that the news is starting to wear on me. 

  • I’m reading too much about other people’s success stories when right now I feel like a failure. 
  • I’m seeing too many projects out there that I could be a good fit for “if only” I was thinner, in the union, in Los Angeles, have a huge Instagram following, Caucasian, etc.
  • I abhor celebrity gossip, but too much of it is getting shared on my feed and those people and everything they do make me sick.

Frankly I’m turning into a Hater and that’s the last thing I ever want to be. I will continue to write and update on here, because writing for me is cathartic. 


(Source: tank.sinatra IG)

The Panel and Remaining a Theatre Actress 

My go see with the agents ran flat. Here’s why:


(This was posted from my FB page earlier today.)

As a result I’m sticking to theatre. One of the agents said she already had someone that looks like me that she is representing. While she wasn’t mean about the way she said it, I kind of got the impression that she doesn’t need a twin. So why should I bother hopping into an industry where I’m just going to be nothing but a carbon copy?

 I got the sense that was an issue when I applied to be background in Creed. It wasn’t until I found out that Tessa Thompson was one of the leads and that is why I wasn’t selected…we look too similar.

As far as the background stuff is concerned. Yeah we get paid roughly $11-12 an hour and are herded around like cattle. It’s long days and it takes a lot out of me travel wise so it’s probably better if I stop doing it. 

My training overseas has been hindered, so I have to continue here in the states instead. I was thinking of getting with the Shakespeare Theatre Company and taking some of their workshops. Along with some more burlesque training and stage combat. I’m not really going to make big money in these fields so the businesses I recently got into have to keep me alive along with a traditional job (if I can find one.) This isn’t the sound of me quitting though. All I’m doing is staying away from the film industry. People in theatre are much nicer anyhow.