Some Thoughts…

(Source: Someecards.com)

This post is inspired by the recent article about the Non-Sexual Assault, but Sexual Coercion by Aziz Ansari to a young woman named “Grace”. I’ve read the article along with many think pieces and social media posts with various opinions. I have my own thoughts and conclusions, based upon what I read coupled with my own experience…however I’m not going to delve that deep. Rather, I want to talk about one glaring element in the original article and the screenshot of the text messages between Ansari and “Grace”:

the fleeting hope of having some sort of a romantic connection with a rich and famous man, while not being famous or rich yourself.

Let it go. It’s not going to happen.

This makes me sound like a total bitch and I’m sorry. It’s the truth and I want you to understand why.

Yes, there are very famous men who do end up meeting non-famous women and/or fans and end up becoming their girlfriends. However, you have a better chance at winning the lottery than that ever happening.

The reason is because you’re not in alignment with him.

I’m not here to tell you that famous men, primarily actors, are gross. Especially since my dating history consisted of mostly military men, I can say without a shadow of a doubt they are WORSE than actors when it comes to romance. The big thing I want to convey is that these type of men typically date within their station. Someone, who like them, achieved wealth and status. This is why there are so many showmances and scandals, because they date their co-workers who are like them. Why do you think Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle? Because she is within his station due to her success as an actress and a humanitarian. They shared common interests and their mutual friend felt safe to set them up. This relationship wouldn’t have worked if they were at odds with each other.

It’s alignment.

Now that’s not to say that “Grace” didn’t have some prestige. She was invited to the Emmys and all, but the only thing she had to find in common was to talk about an old camera Ansari was using…and that’s the ONLY common ground they had. Even then he brushed her off at first, which really should have been the tip that this wasn’t going to go her way. All I’m saying what “Grace” really should have done, is to continue to put her nose to the grindstone and work until she is the master of her craft. Then at that point, and only then, would she get the man she truly wants.

(Source: Facebook.)

With that said, do I feel that men like Ansari are blameless? No, absolutely not. Consent is important and it something that he, and other men can benefit to learn. What I am saying is that we need to stop chasing these stupid men. Accept the fact that you may be single for a while or never be with someone at all. It’s better than putting yourself in a position that harms you rather than serve you.

(Source: Facebook.)

Anyway, that’s my two cents on the subject.

An Interesting 48 Hours So Far…

(Taken on the bus, yesterday, en route to NYC.)

I’m still cautious about life right now, but like I said, I’m strangely optimistic and I feel like 2018 is going to be lit. Starting yesterday, I made the big trek from Wilmington to New York (approx 3 hours one way) for an appointment related to a commercial. I can’t say what for as I’m bound by a Non Disclosure Agreement (more on that in a moment), but as I said before, it may be my highest paying job.

While taking that trip, a recruiter from an HR company (much different from my old one) reached out to me and wants to meet me. This is an informal job interview as she was interested in my profile. What interests me out this company is that they specialize in event planning. As you know, I work events either for money or free admission. I don’t have a ton of experience in the planning side of it, but my skills still may be of some use here. Just like my previous job, this is a temporary agency. That means I’m not bound to the job forever. I will reach back to her on Monday, since yesterday wasn’t a good time to talk at all.

Speaking of events, I also received an email from the music festival I worked this past year, inviting me back. The money was good, but the hassle to travel, the long hours in the hot sun, the lack of organization, and some of the rudeness of my fellow coworkers, is kind of turning me off to it. Let me put it this way: my friend who landed me the job, and was so excited to work again this year, quit suddenly because of mistreatment by management. This girl will happily suffer it out for the 4 days if it means a big paycheck. I knew it was bad when she said she was out. So… I think I will pass this year.

Fast forward to today. I went to an open casting call in Maryland for a very popular show that I cannot name. The main reason why I did this is so I can get on the roster and get a little credit for showing up. That seems to be the standard for many of the agencies, they will know that you’re committed if they see you in person.

Now about Non Disclosures. I do try to limit my conversation about what projects I work on and anything that happens on set. Some programs do allow us to be more open than most, but still within reason. You really don’t want to ruin the project for future viewers, myself included, and that’s a good thing. However, after getting dinged for even mentioning that I was working on a popular show, I’m much more careful. Especially since I’m working on more high profile projects, and with my recent eligibility in the Union, I’m bound to a lot more secrecy. It may mean a little less content on here about upcoming projects, but I will still try to inform and entertain as much as possible.

🤔

(Source: Facebook.)

Not two hours after writing the previous post about entering into a field of land mines, a.k.a. gross people, in my industry, I ran into one of the people I used to work alongside with everyday. He said he couldn’t be happier that great things are happening to me, and he hopes my career blossoms in big ways this year.

(Source: Giphy. Ok but seriously, who is chopping onions in here!?)

Fine then. The gross people won’t stop me from being great. Which is a good thing too.

I’m strangely optimistic.

Now optimism isn’t the same as excitement. No. Besides, any time I get too excited, the rug gets ripped out from under my feet.

So I’m entering this field with a LOT of caution, some hope, and zero giddiness. I hope to report some progress soon.

The Belly of the Beast

(Source: Futurama FOX and Facebook.)

I booked my first job of the year yesterday morning. While I won’t share what the project is about, it does have a possibility of the footage being used on a national scale, which means it will also be my highest paying job. Needless to say, I was excited.

Then that bubble got popped. Later on I caught an article about James Franco and his involvement with teen girls and a revelation by Ally Sheedy. I guess it was a good thing I never worked on his project. Still I am complicit because I paid money to train at his school, paid money to see his film, and wrote a whole praise post about him.

Given how terrible the abuses are in this industry, it makes me wonder if I really should stay in? I know it’s wrong to assume that everyone in the industry is like that, or to try an jump ship so soon after making gains, but I just don’t know. All I do know is that I feel like a piece of crap right now.

Some Thoughts…

(Source: Facebook.)

I don’t have TV in my home right now. I haven’t had access since before I got laid off from my job and became homeless. Which leads me to watching everything by way of digital streaming and DVD. I didn’t watch the Golden Globes because of limited access, however, I tried to keep up with the program by way of recorded highlights and Twitter. There were two major takeaways I wanted to address because they involve a bit of shaming, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy.

First: Why are we shaming actresses who are not wearing black?

It wasn’t required dress code for the Golden Globes. It was an option to wear if you wanted to stand in solidarity with the women who were abused. That’s not an open invitation to abuse more women who chose not to wear black. We don’t know their stories or motivations as to why. Truthfully, it’s not our business to know. Much of the shaming came from other women too, which is incredibly disappointing and hypocritical.

Second: I understand the point Natalie Portman was trying to get across.

She was genuinely trying to call out the selection committee for not choosing any women directors for a nomination. Yeah that is wrong. The people that are siding with her, missed that major point and for some reason got mad at the nominees. Lest we not forget, Guillermo Del Toro, who is from Mexico; the country which bigoted constituents from my country are rallying to build a wall against; the country which our current leadership says has “Bad Hombres” coming from there; the country which our leadership deemed so dangerous, that they have emboldened ICE more than ever to rip families (including women) apart, and wrongfully profiled legal American citizens…

won.

Sometimes we get caught up in the marginalization of women that we forget about other marginalized groups as well. But I have already addressed that issue a few posts ago.

(Source: Facebook.)

James Bond Needs to Die

(Source: Facebook.)

Let me clarify, first, by saying I’m a big fan of the Bond movies…but I’m tired of them. All of this speculation going around the internet about who the next Bond should be is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve gone on record on my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook crying out that Bond needs to die. I will go further in detail here.

Spectre:

The most recent film in the franchise is the one that did it in for me. Besides the fact that they pulled the storyline from the 3rd Austin Powers installment, they wrote a terrible Bond Girl:

Bond’s main squeeze is a classic example of telling you that a female character is strong/intelligent/empowered but having her get beaten down/captured at almost every opportunity. Lea Seydoux’s Dr. Madeleine Swann is the most useless “tag-along girl” that James Bond has had in decades.

(Source: Forbes.com contributor Scott Mendelson.)

The biggest issue I have with the franchise is that 50% of the films are actually any good. With that being said, why to we want to put a black man or woman in the starrer role that could potentially flop? Why do we need to reboot at all? There are so many options and stories to tell in the Spy genre, that we really don’t need another Bond.

(Source: IMDb.com Jeffrey Wright in Casino Royale.)

If anything, the production company should make a Felix Leiter film. Felix is the U.S. equivalent of James Bond and is a C.I.A. agent. The name Felix is unisex so the character can be a he or a she. With that in mind, and with a little bit of bias, I would like the character to continue to be portrayed by Jeffrey Wright. I say with bias because he and my uncle attended school together as kids and he has always been kind, even years later (when my uncle told us that he bumped into him in L.A.)

But I digress. It’s not my decision to make how they go forward with the films. Though my attendance to the newest film is questionable at best.

Bots

(Source: Facebook.)

This meme was originally tweeted out in response to Don Cheadle’s retweeting of a random bot on Twitter. It was directed to the bot and not to Mr. Cheadle. I decided not to sully Mr. Cheadle’s tweet with my response and instead, I’m using it here. Why? Let me share the tweet. Just so you know, Don Cheadle is a real person, David Goodman in this account is not:

(Source: Twitter.)

So, a few thoughts…First and foremost, I’m getting super tired and annoyed with bots and real people telling celebrities, who engage in politics, to shut up and entertain. They are tax paying citizens just like the rest of us. Believe it or not, I get tax deductions taken out of my acting checks and so do they. It’s also very rude to say that all an actor, musician, athlete, celebrity of any sort is only there to be a minion and entertain you. Especially since you have no idea where they came from or how they became celebrities in the first place. Some come from wealthy families, others like myself, came from the dirt. Either way it’s still a job, so we are working just like anyone else on this planet.

Second, I’m getting REALLY sick and tired of troll accounts and bots that are coming out of the woodwork on all forms of social media. They are doing the absolute MOST to divide and piss everyone off. For example: yesterday, a troll account tried to spread a rumor that black women were boycotting the upcoming Black Panther movie. The reason was that Michael B. Jordan, who plays the villain in the film, has a non-black girlfriend in real life.

(Source: Facebook.)

Seriously?! No black women are boycotting this movie! We don’t care! We are watching this film! And yet, a bunch of men on Twitter believed it and tried to drag us! 🤦🏽‍♀️

(Source: Tenor.)

Aren’t people aware that there are more sinister things at work here? These distractions are placed there to ruin us and they’re working. Bots like the one Mr. Cheadle retweeted, should not have had any sort of engagement whatsoever, and yet here we are. He has a massive platform and now that bot has more exposure. That means more fake profiles and cyberattacks.

Instead, here is a good rule of thumb: just block them. It’s not like the admins of Twitter are really doing anything to solve the problem anyhow.

Stans

(Source: Urban Dictionary, contributed by Terminator-C)

As I logged onto Twitter this morning I saw a massive outcry about a video posted by YouTuber Logan Paul. Apparently he and his crew went to a forest in Japan that is said to be haunted by people who commit suicide there and no one is permitted to enter the forest. Not only did Paul and his crew break the rules, they also discovered a corpse that was hanging from a tree, then proceeded to laugh and joke about it. This is troubling as hell, but not as troubling as the fans who are defending him; which is what I want to talk about today.

We have a huge problem with Stanning here in the U.S. currently, and it has become increasingly frustrating and damaging to the human spirit as a whole. So far I have read online from a few of his Stans:

“He is just trying to raise awareness for suicide.”

“Laughing and joking is just a way to cope with something so shocking.”

My favorite one…”he is literally trying to save the world by raising awareness.”

(Source: Facebook.)

Nah.

What he attempted to do was give a half-assed lecture about suicide awareness as justification to post the videos and display his douchebaggery. He was not trying to save the world and only regretted the backlash he received from followers that are not Stans. His apology was equally as shitty.

(Source: Facebook.)

So what is the psychology behind Stanning? That I can’t explain. Though I do notice that it tends to happen, more often than not, to public people who see little to no repercussions for their actions. Even with this kind of backlash, Logan Paul will be able to worm his way out of it somehow and maybe that’s why they root for him…because they want to be able to get away with bad behavior.

(Source: Purplekecleon Tumblr.)

Even I had an exchange with a Stan. You can see in the comments section of my post “Dear Amber Rose” which they could not defend her rude comments about the women from Philadelphia. However if I listened to the rest of her interview it would somehow redeem her in my eyes. I took their recommendation and watched the whole interview and the result I came to was that her rude comment about Philly women contradicts her overall feminist message. No, she didn’t win me over.

(Source: Facebook.)

Which leads me to some thoughts about my situation. As you well know, I too work in the entertainment industry. I want to create good content and generate an audience that supports me and keeps me working. However, I don’t want to get to the point where I believe I’m untouchable. It’s already been a struggle to get to where I’m at presently, and sustaining it will be even harder. It may have to come down to whether the pressure to sustain is greater than the loss of leaving. While I’m not famous by any means, I think I will have to walk away if it comes to the point where I’m too comfortable to defend the indefensible, or I’m too passive and let Stans run wild.

In any case, it’s not healthy. No one should be held at the same pedestal as a Deity, no matter how famous or important you are.

Upcoming Podcast Interview, and a Blast From The Past

(Source: Urban Dictionary.)

Good news! One of the first bookings I have for the new year is a podcast. An acquaintance of mine launched a new website called Bored in DE, which details all of the interesting happenings in Delaware that doesn’t simply include drinking at the local watering hole or going to the new Italian restaurant around the corner (both of which are fairly common in this state.)

He is also highlighting many of the residents who are getting things done or have interesting careers. Prior to Joe Biden becoming our VP, Delaware was just a tiny speck on the map of the U.S. and well…we still are. It’s the reason why my Twitter account’s location is written as “Delawhere?” No one knows or cares where we are.

(Source: Wayne’s World)

Since I have an interesting career, I was invited along with two other actresses to sit down for a podcast interview that will also have a live broadcast on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine, Sara Jones, was just interviewed on the same podcast for her career in fashion: Anara Original, her blog: Blondie Jones, and her book: The Playbook to Essential Style; it was a great interview.

This isn’t the first time I was interviewed for a podcast. Last year during the summer of 2016, I was interviewed by Slate about my financial struggles. The podcast as far as I know hasn’t been released yet, which makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to share the link on this blog, but no such luck. Which brings me to my next topic on this post:

(Source: Jeffree Star’s Facebook Page.)

I wrote this comment two years ago before it was revealed that Jeffree Star made horrible racist comments which eventually led him to be canceled in my opinion. One of his fans liked my comment and I was half-tempted to delete it as I didn’t want to have any associations with him anymore. However I chose not to for a reason, this was my true story, and someone listened and liked it. I do need to make some corrections though because I had abridged an already long comment and I want everything I write to be consistent.

1) The job that I was living Paycheck to paycheck on was my HR job. I had previously posted how much easier it was to structure paying the bills and saving when working a 9-5 job. This was in fact the job I was referring to and I did save money…in the beginning. It was about a month later, was when I was living paycheck to paycheck after loaning my family money to live and my car kept breaking down. My savings was plundered and I wasn’t able to recover for a while. Hell, even now I’m still on shaky ground.

•I did find a job while I was on unemployment, working part-time at a restaurant. It was great timing too, because my unemployment money ran out not long after that. The only issue, I was making the same as I was on unemployment and I soon became homeless because, like I said, financial recovery took a really long time.

•I really didn’t have anything to lose by becoming an actress. I’m moving quickly for the time I started this career. It takes people up to a decade sometimes to get into SAG and I managed to accomplish it in only 2 years. I’m seriously looking forward to what the new year will bring. One of the projects I want to book begins the 2nd week of January. We’ll see what happens.

A Hard Promise To Myself

(Source: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bravo TV)

A concern was brought up to me by my mom and I’m in agreement with her. Since my school has officially been approved for deferment until September 2018, anything I do now must be dedicated to my success in school. She could care less that I go to school (I am an adult and can make my own decisions after all), but she knows that attending college overseas has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. She doesn’t want to see me lose it. So that leads me to make some hard promises and agreements with myself:

•If (in the unlikely event) of me meeting a guy that I want to date, I’m to never compromise for him. Either he is just going to have to make a way to see me in Ireland or not at all.

•I should still be acting as if I’m moving there. I’m not going to be comfortable where I’m at in Delaware and should be completely uprooted.

•I’m also working a regular job until it is time to go, so I have money and I’m not struggling to live or pay rent in Ireland.

•This is still my dream and unless I land some massive role in a major motion picture, I’m not to be distracted from it.

This should be fairly easy as I have way less patience for people wasting my time like they did in the previous years. 2018 is officially the “Get My Life Together” year.