Let It Go and Breathe


(Source: Shutterstock)



The Goddess of Bad Timing strikes again. I applied to work on a social media advertising shoot and the production company reached back to me, but I misread the schedule and now I can’t do it. Frustrating.


Instead of being upset about it, I’m just letting it go. Something better usually comes along anyway so it may just not be the project for me. In the meantime, I’m going to scan things twice before applying or saying yes, so I no longer cause myself further upset.


In other good news, I did find something that does work with my schedule. Hopefully, I get it. The project looks fun with national coverage. Fingers crossed.

Deconstructing the Centrum Commercial: An Actor’s Perspective


(Source: Google Image Search)

I was trying to avoid talking about this commercial. As a former Tom Hiddleston fan, I didn’t want to come off sounding like a hater, but I have thoughts and they need to be written down.

The first time I saw this commercial was on Twitter. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was watching and I’m pretty sure my first words were “What the hell?” The second time I saw the commercial, again on Twitter, was in a retelling by Phil Wang who created a hilarious re-working of it which you can see here. 

Actually, it was Phil’s version that helped me to understand a little bit better! Here is my breakdown:


As an actor, I truly can’t knock Mr. Hiddleston for booking work. It is not a 9 to 5 job. We get paid per project and when that project is finished, there is no more money. Even with all of our efforts, there will be large gaps in between where there are no jobs to be booked. Hence why you hear of A-list actors that are on top of the world one day and then completely bankrupt with no one wanting anything to do with them the next. I also can’t judge him for basically selling a vitamin brand since I too sell vitamins through a different company. Centrum is a huge brand that sells globally (and also the reason why this commercial was aired in China), I’m sure he was paid a pretty penny for his participation.

Now let’s talk about the concept of this commercial. It was shot from a first-person perspective. Some viewers online were impressed at the thought of shooting a commercial featuring Mr. Hiddleston as the first person’s love interest. It’s not a new concept (NSFW) although I suppose for advertising purposes it is. However, it came off as more creepy kidnapper than a loving boyfriend. Which is very unfortunate, but still good for press and sales apparently.

He starts off the commercial by preparing breakfast in the kitchen with Us, the significant other walking in. He says “I finished up early so I thought I would make you breakfast.” …Finished up from where sir?  Are we supposed to view ourselves as dating Tom Hiddleston the Actor or Tom Hiddleston the Corporate Executive? If we are supposed to view him as an actor, I assume he finished up from a shoot. That means if he is preparing breakfast for us at, let’s say 8 am, his call time was at the butt-crack of dawn or even earlier. Probably at 3 am.

He is also wearing an apron to cook in that suspiciously matches the clothing he is wearing. Was that a conscious choice by the wardrobe department?  Are we supposed to believe that he has a multitude of aprons that coordinate with his daily outfits? This is a question that needs answering.

He presents this weird ass breakfast with one fried egg with a strange vegetable/fruit salad mix, which I’m sure is meant to be colorful and healthy just like the colors of the Centrum bottle. Great, except I’m not eating that. Yes, I like pepper on eggs. Yes, I like vegetables and fruit sometimes mixed in a salad, but that combination looked like an upset stomach waiting to happen. Moving on…

He is sitting down to talk to us in an EXTREME close-up. It pains me to say this but the current styling of his hair and facial hair is not a good look for him. For those of you that are new to my blog and haven’t read previous entries, I worked at his table when he visited the comic con in Philadelphia three years ago. I do have a good reference of what he looks like in person, so I can confidently say this isn’t it. More often than not a beard usually does wonders for men or people who identify as men. It’s the difference between looking like a 12-year-old for the rest of their days and looking like an adult. But it doesn’t suit him. It looks really patchy and takes away from the fact that he actually has a jawline. Photo for reference below:



(Source: Google Image Search)

I have learned he is in a stage production right now wearing the same look as he does in the commercial. I’m sure he is contractually obligated to keep his facial hair for the time being but my hope for the future is that he realizes its not a good look and shaves it off. Also, his hair has way too much product in it for how thin it is. It looks greasy and in desperate need of a clarifying shampoo.

Another poor choice that I noticed with the filming of this commercial was the height of the camera. Since it is supposed to be filmed from the perspective of a more petite Chinese woman, Mr. Hiddleston is often seen tilting his forward to look at his subject. I don’t know if you have noticed but this guy has a pretty prominent forehead. Add the fact that the camera adds 10 pounds and it creates unfortunate results. I’m really trying not to sound bitchy when I say this, I just know that it reads poorly on camera and makes him look like one of the Greys:



(Source: Google Image Search)

It just seems like this commercial was an exercise in making a normally attractive man look as terrible as possible.


My favorite part about this commercial is near the end. Starting with him saying “I’m going to leave for a few weeks” and he puts on a blazer. We, the significant other, is now fixing his shirt and blazer with strangely detached hands. I could only imagine how that looked on set. First, they had to put out a casting for a hand model with well-manicured nails to fix his jacket. Second, they would have had to place the camera over the model’s shoulder or the model was crouching underneath the camera and holding their hands up to fix the jacket; all the while Mr. Hiddleston has to hold an endearing boyfriend smile for like 5 years.


Plus there had to be several takes involved so I’m sure at some point in his mind he was thinking “did we get the shot?” “Hurry the hell up!” At least that is what I would think in this instance.

Third, he leaves the house with NO Luggage, NO House/Car Keys, and NO Cell Phone. He just disappears into the Ether.



(Source: Google Image Search ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ MTV)

This is where my logic kicks in and I ask too many questions which would have ultimately lead to my firing from this commercial. HOW? I feel like Mr. Hiddleston’s common sense would dictate that there was something off about his exit. Like no bags to carry at all? I mean if I was leaving my boo for a few weeks I would at least say “I have my phone on if you need me.” Nothing. Of course, they are paying him handsomely so I’m sure he had to bite his tongue, but this is a burning question that I have amongst many others.

I hope my analysis clears up any confusion surrounding a confusing commercial. Cheers, and take your vitamins!

Update on Possible Representation


(Source: memegenerator.net)


Not long after my previous post about meeting the talent manager at the large casting event in Poughkeepsie, I submitted all of my materials (headshot, resume, and current reel) for his consideration. He responded back to me that he is looking for more clips of other work I have done, namely commercials but any other work on bigger projects would do.


At first, I was a little crushed due to the fact that I have the hardest time booking those types of roles as the production companies won’t look my way without representation. It’s the reason why I had to attend such a large audition to begin with. That open call was the only way (at this point in time) for me to have a chance at a speaking part in a major feature film or television production.


However, I’m going to find a way to get into something. Even though I’m not signed with this particular manager, he did add me into the email chain dedicated to clients. So I may have a shot yet. I am being proactive about my search too. I updated my account with Backstage.com to remove any and all background work, removed live theatre work, student films, and promotional modeling. It is now hyperfocused on anything related to film, television, commercials, and industrial shoots (as they are speaking parts). This will probably work since I’m more specific about which roles I’ll take.


While it’s still not a guarantee that he will sign me even after all is said and done, the worst that could happen is the addition of credentials on my resume for someone who really wants to sign me. That being said, I have a good feeling that he will be my manager. Wish me luck!

What Do I Write About?!


(Source: Google Image Search)

Good grief this was a week for news, huh?!


I’m having a hard time focusing on a topic. Do I write my thoughts about the College Cheating Scandal? Bryan Singer’s long overdue firing from directing ‘Red Sonja’? How about the latest scandal involving Brett Ratner, the CEO of Warner Bros. and the actress Charlotte Kirk?


And that was only a small handful of what happened this week.


I can’t blame this Mercury Retrograde because I don’t believe in it. Truthfully I think this planet and everyone on it has been caught up in a vortex of bizarre behavior since 2015. With it being 2019 I think we are experiencing the worst of the vortex and soon we will be out of it (if we all survive that is.)


Until then, I’m just going to keep my nose to the grindstone and mind my business. This is too much.


Letting Go of Entitlement

(Source: Facebook)

I was on Twitter today where I saw actor Laura Benanti respond to an incredibly rude tweet. The person who authored the original tweet complained that they paid good money to see Laura perform in a show, but she wasn’t in attendance that day. So as a result she, and I quote, “doesn’t want to see her again.” Laura responded by telling the complainer that she had to take her kid to the hospital that day and she “hopes that she never has to see her again either.”

Seriously? I swear some people really take the cake.

Shows have understudies for a reason. If a performer gets sick or has an emergency, the show is covered an can go on. While I’m sure it can be a real bummer when your favorite actor can’t perform that evening, you also have to remember that they have lives outside of their performances too.

Let me put this into perspective for you:

You work in customer service. You have people who appreciate the service you provide for them and begin telling other people that they should go to your store and ask for you because you are the best.

Now stick with me.

You get terribly ill one day and you have to call out of your job to go to the doctor; so a fellow coworker is called in to cover your shift while you figure out why you are so ill. On the same shift a customer comes in based upon a referral and asks for you. The coworker proceeds to them you are are out for the day because you are unwell. Now the customer is enraged and posts a bad yelp review because they spent money to see you, and you had the AUDACITY to be sick…

See how ridiculous that sounds?

Keep in mind that even though entertaining is a public job, that it’s still a job. Entertainers are going to have off days when they just want to keep to themselves and not be bothered by fans. It doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you, but it does mean that you need to respect their space. They don’t owe you anything for the job they do. Much like you don’t owe anything to the customer who’s chasing after you with a million questions when you’ve already clocked out for your lunch break. It’s nice, but you deserve to take a break too.

I hope this helps to keep things in perspective.

The Curious Case of Jussie Smollett

(Source: Facebook.)

For those of you unaware of the case or who Jussie Smollett is; let me break it down for you as it was previously reported:

Jussie is a star on the hit show ‘Empire’ starring Taraji P. Henson and Terrance Howard. About three weeks ago, he was the victim of a hate crime. Two unknown men (described as white and dressed in MAGA hats) jumped Jussie in the middle of the night, on a Chicago street (the same city where ‘Empire’ is filmed) wrapping a noose around his neck and pouring bleach on him. They called him the N-word and said: “this is MAGA country.” He then reported the crime to the Chicago police.

When the report was first released, there was a huge outpouring of sympathy and support as it was not uncommon for someone like Jussie who is Black and LGBTQ to be violently attacked. He was the most prolific, so of course, it sparked a conversation for the non-marginalized to understand why this happens. Good. It should have done that. However, as time and reporting went on, more people are discrediting the story. The common denominator being that this was a staged publicity stunt.

Now here is something I can sink my teeth into.

For a little background about myself: I’m an actor, who is working an internship with an industry insider whose job is dedicated to publicity. I benefit from this gig not only for college credit but also for a better understanding of how to promote and manage myself in this industry. I have previously written about the publicity stunt orchestrated by Conor MacGregor (which I still hold firm due to my time in Dublin and all of the rumblings I have heard about him); and another possible chance of two celebrities “dating” to make their exes jealous (though I did delete that post because no one could possibly be that stupid.)

Now you know where my head is at, let’s talk about how this could either make a good publicity stunt or a bad one.

As far as a good publicity stunt goes…like I said, sparking the conversation people need to have about violence towards Black LGBTQ communities benefited from this. It also sheds much-needed light on the fact that there are people emboldened by hate due to our current “leadership.”

Bad publicity would mean that he staged this for sympathy and attention devoted solely to him and not the community as a whole. Ultimately wasting time and resources by law enforcement and labeled a liar for the rest of his life.

Regardless of whether the publicity is good or bad, it does make people talk which would be a win for Jussie; but there’s no real gain beyond that. He doesn’t stand to make more money from this. There are no additional acting jobs being thrown at him. He’s not getting written off ‘Empire’. There’s absolutely nothing.

Some suspect that maybe the details of the case were fudged to cover up a sexual encounter gone wrong with, possibly, the two suspected male assailants in the case. But why? Smollett is openly gay, so making up this story to cover up a sexual relationship with another man in the year 2019 would be pointless.

There’s also the theory that he was purchasing drugs and was assaulted. In order to hide from the shame, he made up a story about a hate crime. Once again pointless. Celebrities are notorious for dipping into illegal substances. He could be charged with a crime, yes, but he’s not going to completely have the book thrown at him as opposed to someone like me who is common and poor. If anything he would just issue a bullshit public statement about his drug use and then spend a couple of weeks in rehab.

The big theory amongst the social media rabble is that the creator of ‘Empire’, Lee Daniels, set Jussie up in an attack for reasons unknown to them…

This took the cake for me.

I have heard that Lee Daniels is not the most pleasant person to work with, but he is running a business, so harming someone who keeps his business running would not make sense either.

With all of this said: I believe he was attacked.

Now, could Jussie have embellished the details of his attack in order to point fingers at a group he doesn’t like? It’s possible. Maybe it was a simple mugging and he used the opportunity to say racists did it, I don’t know. What I do know is that the reporting of this case from start to finish is a hot mess. I hope for a resolution and the truth to come out soon.

New Year, New Post

(Filter courtesy of Snapchat.)

If you follow me on Instagram, I posted a story that many of my friends and family responded to me as depressing. While it may be, it was the truth.

2018, even with the good things that happened, was absolute garbage. Many of the goals I set for myself did not come into fruition. As a result I chose not to set new goals or resolutions for 2019. This way I have no expectations or disappointment when recapping 2019 on December 31st. It just is.

I also said there’s work to do, which is absolutely true. I have a workshop this weekend and an audition next Tuesday. I’m still without a home in Dublin (though I’m searching frantically) so I messaged the head of the department about what my options are if I can’t find a place before the 14th when the new semester starts.

As far as the school is concerned, I managed to get a shared lead role in a heavily abridged version of Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’ as Prospero. If I’m completely screwed to come back, the show will go on with the other actor fully taking on the mantle of Prospero which gives me comfort. I hate having to drop out of projects with no coverage.

I think this new year will be ok. There were definitely opportunities that presented themselves that I felt I should take. The main thing I need to do is stop thinking there’s only one way to have a successful acting career. That will open up things a bit.

Run Away!!!

(Source: Facebook.)

The above picture is me internally screaming.


Well it’s because I ran into the industry insider that I want to work with, and the situation was so awkward that now I just want to hide. Here’s the backstory:

I mobile ordered food from Starbucks and went to the cafe I normally go to, to pick it up. I walk in the building and she is there fixing her coffee. I walk past her trying to avoid eye contact because, 1) I just woke up and I look rough, 2) I didn’t want her to think I was just in there to follow her. Still as I turned around from the pickup bar, food in hand, we made eye contact. I mustered a smile even though I died inside, grabbed some napkins and rolled out as quickly as I could. Later I saw her post an Instagram story of her pulling up to the cafe shortly before I got there…


Now I look REALLY suspicious for being in the same place at the same time.

Just put me out of my misery now. 😔

A Scam that Built a Community

(Source: Image Orca Pinterest.)

Is it possible for a scam to bring people together? In my case and many others, yes it did.

A “recruiter” messaged me a few weeks ago to tell of a a beauty campaign featuring diverse faces and body types for a campaign. I was wary of it at first, but I was also wary of a strange email sent to me about a film (MUDA) that turned out to be very real. So I asked for more information and they sent me an email regarding what the campaign is and what the contract looks like.

Before I agree to anything, I typically do research to find out more about the companies involved as well as the campaign. Shockingly these scammers did an incredible job at crossing their “T’s” and dotting their “I’s”. They provided real companies, real discount codes for their products, a genuine conference call with everyone that would be working on the shoot, as well as a real location as to where we would be staying. Unfortunately, but fortunately, the veil lifted for everyone soon after and it was revealed to be a scam.

The silver lining in all of it was that everyone scammed was on a group email and we all corresponded with each other after the big reveal to figure out how we can fight the scam and stay in touch. Now we are a community that follows each other on Instagram with the hopes that we will collaborate on projects in the future. It’s definitely possible: many of us are models, actors, recording artists, bloggers, and brand ambassadors. Movers and shakers in this industry that are making big things happen.

I’ve been fortunate enough to not be pulled into an elaborate scam that affects my safety or my finances. Those people are out there and it’s concerning that they would go to such lengths. Take this as a warning: do all of your research, ask questions, ask others that are involved, and if something doesn’t feel right in your gut, walk away.