Another Opportunity

(Source: Fresh Prince of Bel Air, NBC.)

The Universe works in very mysterious ways. Not only was I offered an opportunity to audition for a film, now a videographer friend of mine wants to work on a project with me.

This time, it’s a horror scene that I would film with another person. No pay, BUT he’s giving me the footage for my reel!

I mentioned in a previous post about productions that can’t pay their actors, but have the audacity to not hire them without a reel, and the only compensation they offer is more reel footage. It made no sense. My friend, who offered me this project, is doing this the CORRECT way by making beneficial for both of us.

I will give credit where credit is due. He watched my Instagram stories where I talk and film all of the time and that was a form of a reel for him. Don’t be mistaken though, I would never be able to pull those stories together into a professional reel to send to casting directors. However, the industry is changing and more casting decisions are being made based upon how strong your social media following is.

I’m excited about this opportunity, and a little suspicious about why everything I’ve wanted to do since January, is only now forming a month before I’m supposed to leave.

(Source: Facebook.)

How It Always Works Out

(Source: Yuri!!! On Ice, Mitsurou Kubo.)

This morning I received an invite to audition for a role on an indie film that would be shooting next month. The timing comes right after I complain about my career going stagnant, which now renders that post null and void.

There’s no guarantee that I will get the part, however, the fact that the director reached out to me is important.

So what is the film?

It’s about a young woman who has major relationship failures with except for a meaningful relationship with another woman in her early twenties. I was offered to play one of the supporting roles in this film. The best part is, it’s a paying role too.

YES. This is the dream. To play a speaking part in a film or television show and actually getting compensated for it.

The only issue is that the schedule may roll into when I’m supposed to leave the country. Who knows what will happen, but it’s an opportunity I feel I couldn’t turn down. Prayers and fingers crossed for the best possible outcome.

My Career Is Stagnant At The Moment…

(Taken late last month.)

There’s not much I can do about it. What I can do is take stock of where I’m at now:

•SAG eligible

•A decent theatre resume

•A film credit

•Nominated for a regional award

That’s what I have for the time being, though I managed to get this done at a rapid pace of 3 years (SAG alone takes some people a decade.)

Right now, the only thing I have going on is my YouTube channel until I work another film in 2019. I’ll try to keep this page updated on any industry related things that may come up in the meantime.

At Another’s Expense

(Source: Facebook.)

If you were following my blog up to this point, you would know that I currently have three jobs. Pole Dance Instructor, Arthouse Movie Theatre Projectionist, and Host/Server at a popular restaurant.

Recently, at the restaurant, I managed to pick up more serving shifts and ultimately that means more money in my pocket. However, that came at a cost: the person to trained me on the restaurant’s system was removed from the schedule.

I don’t like it.

Let’s be clear that I’m in no way ungrateful for the extra income (I NEED it), but I was hoping to earn it on my own merits and not because someone was forcibly removed. If you’re wondering if there was a valid reason for their removal? Yes. I will not disclose why though.

The next question you may be wondering is, if there was a valid reason this person had to go, why do you feel guilty about it? Well, as I stated earlier, they trained me. It’s a really ugly situation when companies require employees to train their replacements when they’re being let go by said company. Even worse when you train someone, get let go, and then find out that person you trained filled your spot. It feels sneaky.

Personally, I prefer to cover shifts for people. When they can’t for reasons due to illness or conflict of schedule. Better yet if they are quitting their position and are training their replacement to do the job well. I like to call this “an approved exchange” where no one gets hurt.

I liked this person. I bore no ill will, though I had concerns. They were cool and easy to talk to. Plus, believe it or not, they did train me well and did their job well when they could. It also worries me that I may be blocking my own blessings from feeling immense guilt about it. In the grand scheme of things, this job is temporary. Hopefully this sick feeling I have subsides by the time I leave.

Mini-Break

(Source: Pinterest.)

My family was away this past weekend. Dad is still getting treatment at the outpatient facility and Mom took a business trip out of state to consider a possible relocation.

It reminded me of the old days before I was homeless. I used to have my own space, a working vehicle, a job that paid all of my bills, and freedom…

So what did I do with my new found quiet time? Slept a bit, organized some papers, reassessed my life, and prayed.

Lately I’ve been down about my career. It’s been a dry year for me and seems like it’s taking forever just for me to pull together my down payment for SAG. Even though I’m working three jobs, the money is sparse; which makes me worry if I can even get to Dublin at this point. Having to focus on my family’s care has also added to the stress, which makes this break all the more beautiful.

My Mom will be home late tonight. My Dad, a few days later. I will miss the peace a quiet for now, but I know I will get back to it soon.

Men, Again 🙄

(Source: Twitter.)

The founder of a website that I follow, has just been exposed as an abuser. Creating insanely strict rules for his girlfriend to follow, fat shaming her, and sexually assaulting her. He even went so far to ruin her acting career by blacklisting her when she walked away from him.

(Source: Pinterest.)

One thing I took away from the article that was written, is that dating someone high powered isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. I mean, dating in general isn’t all that great, but adding fame to the mix makes it especially difficult. Look how easy it was for this poor woman’s career to be tanked simply because he didn’t want her story to be believed? He was worried about bad publicity and his actions have led him down the path of…bad publicity.

If he had not been an asshole, he wouldn’t need to worry as his conscience would be clear. But that’s far too easy.

Anyway, I’m happy that this woman is safe and recovering financially, spiritually, emotionally, to be able to tell the tale. He is a scumbag.

Another Work Day and Maybe Some Good News

(Source: @witsandsass IG)

I’m seriously dragging today on my way to work. While this place is honoring my schedule and paying me, there are still problems. One, I’m paying too much money to get there as opposed to the job I truly wanted which was down the street from my house. Two, I’m still seeing some of the weirdness from this job.

(Source: Facebook.)

To top it off, it isn’t over yet. I have one more shift tomorrow, that is if I make it until then. Nothing bad though. Just an opportunity that may force me to take a leap of faith. That leap would be well worth me losing my job. Especially since my patience for nonsense is extremely limited.

(Source: someecards.com and On Stage Blog. I enjoy working in the shadows lol!)

I got a response for a project that would be filming tomorrow at the same time I’m supposed to work. There’s no confirmation if I am going to be working on this project in any fashion. So far I had to submit more information, my résumé, photos, social media handle, and my location.

What I’m hoping for is to work on the project regardless of whether I’m acting (which is what I originally submitted for) or crew (which I added I could do too.) The reason why this is such a big deal: the person who is coordinating the project is attached to a major super star right now, working in the depths of the industry.

Much like my time at Tribeca Film Festival, this is an opportunity to build my résumé and make connections. I have to prove myself worthy for this gig and I hope that they are willing to work with me.

Alzheimer’s

(Source: Spongebob Squarepants Nickelodeon.)

A couple of events happened to me over the weekend that left me a bit emotional.

The first was at a cafe where I was walking to the bathroom and an older woman walking out of the rooms started talking to me. She was telling me something that happened years ago when she was working, as if she was still an employee there. Her relative came over to collect her and revealed to me that she has Alzheimer’s Disease.

The second was at my theatre job. We are currently playing ‘The Leisure Seeker’ starring Dame Helen Mirren and Donald Sutherland. The plot consists of an elderly, unwell couple, who take one last road trip together to visit Ernest Hemingway’s house in Key West, Florida. The husband played by Sutherland had Alzheimer’s.

Oof!

To share something personal, my maternal grandmother suffered from the disease at (what I consider to be) a very young age. She also showed signs of decay earlier in her life, that had also contributed to a toxic family dynamic for my mother. My grandmother died when I was 16 years old.

Life wasn’t easy during my adolescence, and it was difficult not to get frustrated when she couldn’t remember me at all. There were times when it was also dangerous…she pulled a knife on me because she thought I was a stranger breaking into the house. Ultimately, I was sad for her. She was a woman who was super athletic. Popular. Loved to go out dancing (I take after her.)

She lived a full life, with no memory of it when she died.

In the present day I wonder if that is going to be me. Losing all of my mental faculties, not remembering anyone or anything. There are times when I feel like I’m losing my mind now. I have horrible anxiety, depression, I stutter, I forget things, my mind is scattered at times. I’m also independent and I don’t want people to have to babysit me, especially in a weakened state.

Anyway, this was something I wanted to get off of my chest since it has been gnawing at me most of my life.

I’m Sticking To Philadelphia. For Now…

(Source: Meanwhile in Philadelphia Facebook Page.)

I’ve been sighing a lot lately. There has been a lot of motion without progress and I find myself super depressed. The Manhattan Monologue Slam didn’t net me much but an invite to the Philly Slam (which I’m still going to.) Still, I’m just a little disappointed on how few my bookings have been in New York and how few and far in between they have been in Philadelphia. However, they are my closest market and if I want to build up my resume at a lower cost, Philadelphia is where I will remain. The question now is, what’s out there?

The last panel of agents I auditioned for in Philly was a total bomb. Now with my new eligibility status with SAG, they wouldn’t be able to represent me at this point in time anyway. Once again I feel like I’m stuck without any prospect of a breakthrough. I was seriously hoping for that one good booking before starting school, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.

The Wedding 👰🏽

(Source: Facebook.)

You know which wedding I’m talking about.

Wow.

Meghan was absolutely stunning and Harry was so happy. They looked so in love…I’m still an emotional pile right now.

As I said when they first got engaged, I’m living vicariously through them. With a history of bad dating experiences, coupled with financial struggles, I just can’t see myself ever getting married. Would it be nice? Yes. But my life sucks right now and I’m fighting hard to fix it. There’s no time for a guy. Plus many of them didn’t match well with me.

The only marriage I will have, is the one to my career. Cheers to that.