An Interesting 48 Hours So Far…

(Taken on the bus, yesterday, en route to NYC.)

I’m still cautious about life right now, but like I said, I’m strangely optimistic and I feel like 2018 is going to be lit. Starting yesterday, I made the big trek from Wilmington to New York (approx 3 hours one way) for an appointment related to a commercial. I can’t say what for as I’m bound by a Non Disclosure Agreement (more on that in a moment), but as I said before, it may be my highest paying job.

While taking that trip, a recruiter from an HR company (much different from my old one) reached out to me and wants to meet me. This is an informal job interview as she was interested in my profile. What interests me out this company is that they specialize in event planning. As you know, I work events either for money or free admission. I don’t have a ton of experience in the planning side of it, but my skills still may be of some use here. Just like my previous job, this is a temporary agency. That means I’m not bound to the job forever. I will reach back to her on Monday, since yesterday wasn’t a good time to talk at all.

Speaking of events, I also received an email from the music festival I worked this past year, inviting me back. The money was good, but the hassle to travel, the long hours in the hot sun, the lack of organization, and some of the rudeness of my fellow coworkers, is kind of turning me off to it. Let me put it this way: my friend who landed me the job, and was so excited to work again this year, quit suddenly because of mistreatment by management. This girl will happily suffer it out for the 4 days if it means a big paycheck. I knew it was bad when she said she was out. So… I think I will pass this year.

Fast forward to today. I went to an open casting call in Maryland for a very popular show that I cannot name. The main reason why I did this is so I can get on the roster and get a little credit for showing up. That seems to be the standard for many of the agencies, they will know that you’re committed if they see you in person.

Now about Non Disclosures. I do try to limit my conversation about what projects I work on and anything that happens on set. Some programs do allow us to be more open than most, but still within reason. You really don’t want to ruin the project for future viewers, myself included, and that’s a good thing. However, after getting dinged for even mentioning that I was working on a popular show, I’m much more careful. Especially since I’m working on more high profile projects, and with my recent eligibility in the Union, I’m bound to a lot more secrecy. It may mean a little less content on here about upcoming projects, but I will still try to inform and entertain as much as possible.

James Bond Needs to Die

(Source: Facebook.)

Let me clarify, first, by saying I’m a big fan of the Bond movies…but I’m tired of them. All of this speculation going around the internet about who the next Bond should be is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve gone on record on my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook crying out that Bond needs to die. I will go further in detail here.

Spectre:

The most recent film in the franchise is the one that did it in for me. Besides the fact that they pulled the storyline from the 3rd Austin Powers installment, they wrote a terrible Bond Girl:

Bond’s main squeeze is a classic example of telling you that a female character is strong/intelligent/empowered but having her get beaten down/captured at almost every opportunity. Lea Seydoux’s Dr. Madeleine Swann is the most useless “tag-along girl” that James Bond has had in decades.

(Source: Forbes.com contributor Scott Mendelson.)

The biggest issue I have with the franchise is that 50% of the films are actually any good. With that being said, why to we want to put a black man or woman in the starrer role that could potentially flop? Why do we need to reboot at all? There are so many options and stories to tell in the Spy genre, that we really don’t need another Bond.

(Source: IMDb.com Jeffrey Wright in Casino Royale.)

If anything, the production company should make a Felix Leiter film. Felix is the U.S. equivalent of James Bond and is a C.I.A. agent. The name Felix is unisex so the character can be a he or a she. With that in mind, and with a little bit of bias, I would like the character to continue to be portrayed by Jeffrey Wright. I say with bias because he and my uncle attended school together as kids and he has always been kind, even years later (when my uncle told us that he bumped into him in L.A.)

But I digress. It’s not my decision to make how they go forward with the films. Though my attendance to the newest film is questionable at best.

Gown Hunting

(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)

It’s 2018, and that means there are goals to be set. My friend and I made the promise to go to the ball in Harlem this year after missing it last year. I have taken further steps to try to get ahead of the game.

Gown Shopping!!!

(Me circa March 2016.)

The gown featured in the photo above is what I wore to the ball in early 2016. It is pretty. I looked like a mermaid. I paid $10 for it. However, my boobs kept trying to escape the dress all night!

(Me trying to do my best ‘Chappelle’s Show’ Robot Dance Party Guy impression. I nearly fell out of this dress making this video 😂)

This time I’m looking for straps or sleeves since it will still be chilly that time of year. It will also mean having to pay full price too…

<<
ource: Facebook.)

Ugh. It's ok though, it just means that I really have to elevate my job search into something high paying to afford it. I hope to have pictures soon.

Upcoming Podcast Interview, and a Blast From The Past

(Source: Urban Dictionary.)

Good news! One of the first bookings I have for the new year is a podcast. An acquaintance of mine launched a new website called Bored in DE, which details all of the interesting happenings in Delaware that doesn’t simply include drinking at the local watering hole or going to the new Italian restaurant around the corner (both of which are fairly common in this state.)

He is also highlighting many of the residents who are getting things done or have interesting careers. Prior to Joe Biden becoming our VP, Delaware was just a tiny speck on the map of the U.S. and well…we still are. It’s the reason why my Twitter account’s location is written as “Delawhere?” No one knows or cares where we are.

(Source: Wayne’s World)

Since I have an interesting career, I was invited along with two other actresses to sit down for a podcast interview that will also have a live broadcast on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine, Sara Jones, was just interviewed on the same podcast for her career in fashion: Anara Original, her blog: Blondie Jones, and her book: The Playbook to Essential Style; it was a great interview.

This isn’t the first time I was interviewed for a podcast. Last year during the summer of 2016, I was interviewed by Slate about my financial struggles. The podcast as far as I know hasn’t been released yet, which makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to share the link on this blog, but no such luck. Which brings me to my next topic on this post:

(Source: Jeffree Star’s Facebook Page.)

I wrote this comment two years ago before it was revealed that Jeffree Star made horrible racist comments which eventually led him to be canceled in my opinion. One of his fans liked my comment and I was half-tempted to delete it as I didn’t want to have any associations with him anymore. However I chose not to for a reason, this was my true story, and someone listened and liked it. I do need to make some corrections though because I had abridged an already long comment and I want everything I write to be consistent.

1) The job that I was living Paycheck to paycheck on was my HR job. I had previously posted how much easier it was to structure paying the bills and saving when working a 9-5 job. This was in fact the job I was referring to and I did save money…in the beginning. It was about a month later, was when I was living paycheck to paycheck after loaning my family money to live and my car kept breaking down. My savings was plundered and I wasn’t able to recover for a while. Hell, even now I’m still on shaky ground.

•I did find a job while I was on unemployment, working part-time at a restaurant. It was great timing too, because my unemployment money ran out not long after that. The only issue, I was making the same as I was on unemployment and I soon became homeless because, like I said, financial recovery took a really long time.

•I really didn’t have anything to lose by becoming an actress. I’m moving quickly for the time I started this career. It takes people up to a decade sometimes to get into SAG and I managed to accomplish it in only 2 years. I’m seriously looking forward to what the new year will bring. One of the projects I want to book begins the 2nd week of January. We’ll see what happens.

My Christmas Gift To Myself

(Source: The Disaster Artist 2017 and Cine-Series.com)

Merry Christmas! It has been a pretty mellow one in my house. This year has been filled with so much chaos, plus being so busy, that we really didn’t do much as far as presents or anything big. We didn’t even get a regular tree this year, and had to settle for a small artificial tree from the dollar store. Still better than nothing.

However, I did try to do something for myself this year and that was to go see The Disaster Artist: starring James Franco and his brother Dave Franco. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I have had some acting training in Meisner and the first place I went to was James’ school, Studio 4 NYC. I went out of business a few short months ago, right when I was planning on going back…bummer.

(Source: Facebook. Extraordinary Journey of a Black Nerd Group.)

Back in the Summer of 2016, I went to an open call for his HBO show: The Deuce. Simply because I wanted to see Professor Franco in action. Of course professional set conduct prohibits me from talking to him or any principal actor/director and I was fine with that. I just thought it would be really cool to work with the founder of my first acting school. Kind of a bragging right if you will. Although I was selected initially in the first round of open calls, they never used me on the show. However, all was not lost. Attending that open call was the best thing that happened to me as the casting agency ended up using me in a multitude of projects:

•Quantico (3 Times)

•Gotham

•Homeland

•An upcoming Rebel Wilson movie

•A new 2018 CBS show

•The Show I Was Dinged for Mentioning

For that I can be grateful to James Franco for launching my career.

Now about this movie…

I have a couple of takeaways about the film that I want to share:

First and foremost, The Disaster Artist is great storytelling of a very shady man with delusions of grandeur. For a while I forgot it was James Franco playing Tommy Wiseau. I first saw the original film, ‘The Room’, at my best friend’s bachelorette party. One of the bridesmaids did some Wikipedia research on why this film was so insane, and just who the hell is Tommy Wiseau? When I first heard that James Franco was making this film, I was so excited and he did not disappoint.

Second, I don’t know if I can watch anyone’s bare ass on the big or small screen ever again. Seeing Tommy’s rear the first time was traumatizing enough. James twisted the knife in for me. I felt a little violated.

(Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.)

Hollywood Feminism

(Source: The View ABC.)

I really wanted to avoid posting about this topic at all, however I cannot hold in what I feel about this anymore. Why? Let me show you the photo:

(Source: LA Times. What’s wrong with this picture?)

The reason why I call it “Hollywood Feminism” is due to the new wave of feminism made cool again, by famous women who are not of color, wealthy, cisgendered, and contemptuous of women who do sex work. We applaud these women and give them a damn medal, but the voices of women of color, transgender, and sex workers are missing. It just makes me want to throw up.

I will be flamed for this post, but I don’t care anymore. It makes it next to impossible for me to fight for the movement, when at the end of the day, my voice is neglected to be heard. No one cares, no one believes me, I don’t matter. So why should I bother?

(Source: Snapchat.)

There are ways to improve this narrative that is healthy for all: Like INCLUDING WOMEN OF COLOR IN THESE INTERVIEWS. Believe us when we also report that we have been sexually assaulted (side eyeing you Lena Dunham.)

Hire us, stop casting us in stereotypical roles, or whitewashing roles that are meant for us. Allow us to tell original stories and not reboot crap all of the time. It’s amazing what difference it will make in the long run.

End Rant.

I’m Stuck…

(Source: Someecards.)

The decision to go to school is rapidly approaching and this is everything I have ever wanted. However something else came up that I have always wanted too: my union eligibility.

(Source: Memegenerator.net)

Why not both? There are a lot of factors that come into play:

•Money. I don’t have an abundance of it and I don’t have the good credit needed to take out a loan for either school or for my initiation fee. All of it will come out of my pocket. I’m stuck in an either/or situation.

•I won’t be able to take advantage of my union membership fully if I’m out of the country and in school. I’m not saying they aren’t available, on the contrary, SAG is a world-wide union. However, my school schedule will be a full course load and they have a strict attendance policy. This means I won’t be able to miss any days to shoot, otherwise I will fail the course. Plus, in order to work in my new country, I have to be approved for a work permit. Which could take up to two months for that to happen, and I’m only permitted to work 20 hours a week during the semester.

• There are more gigs stateside that I am a better fit for. (Believe me, I checked.) Working on some of those with a union contract would greatly improve my financial situation.

• I was supposed to be fully eligible back in September, but the production company cut my shoot schedule from 3 days, down to 2. The fact that I earned my last waiver so late in the year, and so close to when I would have just said yes, and take off for Ireland gives me major pause. I feel like I’m on the cusp of something big here and I don’t know what it is.

•But still, it’s Ireland and what I really wanted. I collapsed and had a nervous breakdown when I couldn’t go. To just turn it away now would be insane. I don’t think the scholarship offer is set in stone if I need to push back my start date. But I really can’t afford to start right now either.

Needless to say, I’m sick and guilty about the whole situation. What do I do?

After Audition Review, Life Assessment and Self-Care

(Source: Someecards.)

As expected, I bombed my audition. I forgot the words to my monologue and my song, and just couldn’t recover. My nerves got the best of me, as well as the feeling of a panic attack coming on. Oh well.

If there was ever a better reason for more training, this is it. My lack of experience showed it’s ass last night. After my horrible audition, I had to go out to work in the snow, to put out real estate signs (the reality of being kind of a loser hit me right there and then.)

(Source: Spongebob Squarepants and Nickelodeon.)

I’m going to have to make some assessments about what I’m doing with my life and work; because even though I’m making some ground, I have to wade through a lot of crap to get there. No, I don’t expect to have things come easy. However, I shouldn’t be left worse off than when I started. A woman I follow by the name of Lux Atl (she’s an awesome lady) on social media asked an open question: how did you grow in 2017? I really didn’t have a good takeaway. Yes, I have had some damn good things happen to me this year; but the steps for me to get there left me angrier, sadder, less trusting, and for the most part…exhausted. I don’t feel like that is a good sign of growth, and trying to practice gratitude under those circumstances makes me feel more guilty that I’m worn out.

(Source: Facebook.)

So where does that leave me right now? Well, I decided to practice some self-care today by going to the Christmas Village in Center City between my work shifts at the Playhouse. I figure if I take in some of the sights and the sounds, I could possibly get into the Christmas spirit. I also may pop by a consignment store too for a pair of new jeans since I’m on my third busted denim casualty of the year.

Her…

(Source: Pinterest, uploaded by Sabine Julieka Danleon.)

I’m about a week late with this post. Last Wednesday marked my childhood friend’s 33rd birthday. The beginning of January will be the 5th anniversary of her death.

Around this time 5 years ago, I had wished her a Merry Christmas on Facebook. She had announced that she was planning to visit Delaware and she was hoping to spend time with family and meet up with old friends including me. I told her I missed her and I love her and that I will see her soon. When she got to Delaware, she had a serious falling out with her mother which ended up with her going back home. Her cousin, who is also her best friend, let me know that she was devastated. A week later she passed away.

I was so numb when I heard the news. I didn’t cry, not because I wasn’t upset, but because I knew she wasn’t in pain anymore. Without going into deep details, she, along with her siblings had a troubled life. She left 3 children behind, along with many friends. When the news broke that she passed, the outpouring of love she received was on a grand scale. I had some dreams about her during this time that she has been gone that I want to share with you:

• Immediately after her passing, she visited me in my new apartment. She looked around without speaking and giving me approval that I did a good job. She later giggled (she had a distinctive laugh) and blew as hard in my ear to wake me up (she was a prankster too.)

• This dream occurred a week after my car accident. It was really weird as it was semi-prophetic and the situation played out as she said: I was walking on a path when I heard a man’s voice telling me that my friend wanted to speak with me. All of a sudden I heard her voice clear as day warning me about her sister, and how she was going to make my life a living hell, instead of getting the help she needs to make hers better (her sister is the individual I referred here as The Snake.) The rest of the dream was about her visiting me again in my waking life. She said that she will be dressed as Captain America (there was a little girl at Wizard World who had the same name as my friend and she was dressed as Captain America. 💗) She also said she was staying at the United States Marine Corps HQ (I figured this was in reference to Quantico, since that is the real USMC HQ, and my first foray into national television.) The last thing she said was “I’ll see you in California. I love you and I miss you.” …….This one I have no idea about. I went to California this past summer, but other than having a nice time with my friends, nothing profound happened. I have yet to see how this plays out.

•The last dream I had was near Christmas time last year. She insisted that I study Hamlet. I read the play from my “complete works” book, but I wasn’t able to attend any of the performances this year. Thankfully, I’m a subscriber of Shakepeare Magazine, who announced that they are dedicating the whole January 2018 issue to Hamlet (weird that it coincides with her passing right?)

I think about her often and I consider her a guardian angel of mine. I know she is looking after all of her loved ones and I feel honored that I’m one of them.

Do I or Don’t I?

(Source: Facebook.)

I was presented with a good problem today (especially after some serious drama this morning) and I need to make a decision.

There are two Background gigs available that are paying well and multiple days…but which one do I choose? The reason why I’m having a hard time is due to the fact that I was hit with this before and ended up missing out on both gigs. One asked me if I was available and I replied “yes.” The other gig also called me in shortly after and I turned them down because I already said yes to the other. The gig I said yes to, cut me at the last minute and the gig that I turned down filled their spot. I was very disappointed.

I’m going to apply to both and see what happens. I’ll go with the boy who takes me to the dance first.