Manhattan Monologue Slam

(Source: Thespian Peacock Tumblr and Pinterest.)

I got a last minute invite to the Manhattan Monologue Slam. Believe it or not, I have never heard of this showcase until a couple of weeks ago. One of the background actresses I met on the set of Creed 2 was inviting a group of us to be a part of the Philadelphia branch of this project. They weren’t able to pull off the May start date like they wanted, so instead we were invited to the original in NYC.

They only give us 30 seconds of time to perform a monologue. If they like us, we can move on to a bigger event where we would perform a 1-2 minute monologue. Either way it is a good event to attend as there are agents, celebrities, casting directors, and a slew of creatives in the audience watching you. The event itself is great for networking.

My biggest hope is to perform the monologue all the way through. I chose a brief part from the play ‘Carmilla’ that I was in as that would be most comfortable for me. The last time I attempted to perform one, I bombed it and had a panic attack during my audition for ‘Twelfth Night.’……………………………………………………………Please Jesus, see me through this.

Cliché Dream

(Source: Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh.)

You know that dream that everyone has once in their lives? The one where you show up to take a test you didn’t study for?

I had that, but instead, I wasn’t prepared for a show and my director admonished me for it.

The funny thing is it started out with the director giving me the script and said come in for tomorrow for the first rehearsal. I did that and the first rehearsal ended up being the show instead. I asked for the cast to take a vote because they were more prepared than I was, if they wanted me to leave. They preferred that I face my shame and go on with the performance like normal.

My dream basically set me up to fail and I wondered what this meant in my conscious life. No production would ever run this way, but it is a common dream amongst many of us. Is the unpreparedness a signal that we are on the wrong path? Like if we were given a quiz or a script we didn’t prepare for, is the dream telling us that we are not prepared for an important moment in our lives.

For me I’m going to say yes.

I’m trying extra hard to do the right thing, taking on extra jobs, setting myself up for success in Ireland, but something in my gut is screaming “WRONG WAY!!!” My only hope is to figure out the right way soon, so I’m not wasting my time.

HAMLET AHHH!

(Source: Facebook.)

I’ve mentioned more than once that I have yet to see a live performance of Hamlet. Some good news was delivered to me, by way of Shakespeare Magazine, as they announced a new production of Hamlet at the Gate Theatre in Dublin.

This run with Ruth Negga as the lead, coincides perfectly with my move to Dublin. The tickets are a decent price too. My butt will be in a seat, late September for this production!

Another Dream

(Taken on May 3 in New York.)

This time it was a good dream: I receive an email about finally getting to work on a project that I have been waiting on.

The real question is, how does this play out in reality? Right now I’m taking on work that is as close to the industry as I can get. However, even with all that I have accomplished, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.

This dream that I had gave me a sliver of hope. Fingers crossed on a breakthrough.

Rocktopia

(Source: Broadway.com)

I’m heading to Broadway tomorrow! This weekend, I’m required to register with Tribeca to complete my paperwork and pick up my credentials for access to the festival. At the same time, my friend and former castmate from ‘Orange Is The New Musical’, Yvette, is performing in the show ‘Rocktopia’ on Broadway. She has been posting pictures of her experience left and right, and I’m super happy for her. To lend my support, I bought a ticket to see the show and let her know I’m going. I’ll post pictures on Instagram after the show.

Kind of a Bum

(Photo taken today. Filter courtesy of Instagram.)

I have things going on, and yet I don’t have things going on. On the positive side:

• I got booked to work Tribeca Film Festival this year.

• I got a mentor to help me with my voiceover portfolio.

• I have two jobs at the pole studio and the movie theatre.

On the downside though:

• I haven’t been doing much performing.

Much of my depression, I believe, comes from the fact that I don’t feel like I’m doing enough; even though I’m doing plenty.

There are a couple of things coming up that I’m going to try to dip my toes into. First and foremost: Saturday Night Live has this Saturday and next where they will air an episode. I applied for this weekend, but if they don’t take me this weekend, I’ll definitely apply next weekend since I’m already going to be in NYC for Tribeca’s orientation. Also the community theatre in NJ (that I had the amazing ‘As You Like It’ audition, even though I didn’t get picked) is holding auditions for ‘Twelfth Night’. Which is funny, because I bombed the last ‘TN’ audition with Shakespeare in Clark Park, Philadelphia. Maybe I’m just supposed to try again with a different group. It would be earlier in the Summer, which is good, and in a very hip little town in Jersey. The only conflict is transportation, but I will figure something out.

Ultimately, I need to get out of this rut. Especially since it appears that most of my friends are working on various projects and shows (like Creed 2, which surprise, surprise…I didn’t get picked again 😏.) I don’t want to get into that jealous phase where I’m judging myself by another person’s highlight reel; so I really need to do something of my own soon. Even if the part is tiny, I don’t care. I want to be productive.

Rest

(Source: Facebook.)

Earlier this month, I read my March horoscope. The advice that was given:

Take as many naps as possible this month. You are going to need it.

I found it hilarious that a horoscope would give me this advice, but you know what? I do need it.

Tomorrow is the first day of training at my new job. I also have a private pole dance lesson to teach that night. On Friday, I have a modeling gig and later, I need to be at Wilmington Drama League to work their lights again. Pretty much for the rest of March, I’m going to be running between three jobs, a community theatre gig, a modeling gig, and a podcast interview.

I’m going to take a nap right now. ✌🏽

Do I Bother?

(Source: Beyond Scared Straight, A&E.)

It looks like Twitter is cleaning house by suspending accounts left and right. Even if you did nothing wrong, but have certain words arranged in a tweet, it can trigger an algorithm that will automatically suspend you. This is one of the social media outlets I have recently put more time into engaging with people. As you know, social media has become increasingly important for promoting yourself and your business.

The day may come, where my profile will trigger the algorithm, and I have to ask myself “is it worth saving?”

With everything that Twitter isn’t doing, like not suspending our “leadership’s” profile for serious violations. Barely, if at all, suspending accounts that target and harass others for speaking out; but God Forbid, you mention suicide.

*sigh*

The answer is probably No.

So what will I do from here? Probably focus on another platform and build that. Jack and Twitter are on the wrong side of history anyway.

Fenty Beauty

(Source: Black Nerd Problems Twitter.)

Ok. So. I’m super late to the Fenty game, but I finally put down the money to purchase a bottle of the company’s foundation for myself. Dear God, this is amazing foundation, and I’m not blowing smoke either! I did a tutorial on my Instagram stories (which I saved in the highlights btw); you could see that my skin looked smooth and translucent. I want to share my takeaways:

1) It didn’t turn orange, which is a common occurrence with me and liquid foundations. The only foundations that don’t turn on me are powders, but they are still just a twinge too yellow for me. My skin didn’t turn greasy either. Fantastic.

2) This is the only brand I’ve noticed that managed to crack the code relating to olive undertones. This is a huge struggle for many cosmetic brands. Bare Minerals (the company I used to work for) came close, by making fair to deep foundations with more golden undertones. However, they were still not able to get this close. When I pumped out my Fenty foundation, it was a soft green. Most brands make foundations too red. Hence why I mentioned that most of my foundations in the past, turn me orange.

3) The product comes out watery, but dries to a powder finish. I love that. I didn’t have to use a lot to get good coverage, and it feels super light. Believe it or not, I don’t like to look or feel super “done” like many makeup aficionados you would see on Instagram. Especially when auditioning for various projects. The casting directors and production companies want to see me for who I am. If I look too made up: it can screw me out of a job. Needless to say this foundation was a good investment.

4) The foundation matched me so well, that it confused my mom. She thought I looked too clear, pale, green, etc, because she wasn’t used to seeing me not orange. My mom never had acne or uneven tone, so she never had to use foundation in her life (lucky.) Because of this, she has a hard time differentiating between what is good makeup and what is bad makeup.

5) The packaging is really simple and it looks like you get a good quantity for the money. Like I said earlier, it didn’t take a lot of product for me to get good coverage. If I were to forecast my cost per wear, I’m looking at about 25-35¢ each time. Probably even less.

6) I also went into a darkened room and took a flash photo. The reason is to see how the foundation does under bright lighting. Working under bright stage lighting, set lighting, and flash photography, creates a problem with foundations. The term is called Photo Flashback. See example below:

(Source: Pinterest. It happens to the best of us.)

I had no flashback and no melting from sweat or oil.

From now on, I will be preaching the gospel of Fenty to the masses. I’m super satisfied with this product and will definitely continue to purchase it in the future. Does Rihanna have to be awesome at everything she does?

(Source: @chuuzus Twitter.)

The answer is Yes.

Reels

(Source: Pinterest.)

I don’t remember if this is a subject I touched on here, but today I wanted to talk about reels. If you’re new to this industry a reel can be summed up as 2 minute footage of an actor’s previous work. The premise of it is for the Casting Director and the client they represent to see how well the actor looks and performs on film. Often times when you submit yourself to a casting, you would include a headshot, résumé, and a copy of your reel.

Here are some issues that come into play with a reel: 1) you need to work on projects that will give you reel copy, like very low budget and/or student films. Even though I submit myself to projects like these quite often, I very rarely get picked. 2) In place of not getting picked for projects like these, what you can do instead is pay to have a custom reel made…however, you are looking at paying a considerable sum of thousands of dollars for a quality reel.

Now the latter half is only a temporary problem. Yes, the cost is high and I need to raise the capital first, but it can be done nonetheless.

My issue is actually with the low budget projects, because the producers are now getting very bold about requesting a reel to even be seen for an audition. Why does this bother me at all? Well, if the low budget production was giving me monetary compensation for my work on their project, then it wouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s the NON-PAYING projects that really irk my nerves in regards to a reel. This is to do with the very fact that they offer the footage of your work as copy for your reel as compensation. Do you see the failed logic here?

If a production is offering me copy for my reel and credit on their film as compensation, what makes them think I have a reel to begin with? And if I did drop the few thousand dollars for a custom reel, why would I submit that to projects that aren’t going to offer me a return on my investment?

Where is the compensation?

Now mind you, there are plenty of people in this industry that would tell you, this is a labor of love, it shouldn’t be about the money. On some level they are right, but not quite. My landlord isn’t going to accept my labor of love as rent. The power company isn’t going to accept my labor of love to keep the lights on. My cell provider isn’t going to accept my labor of love to keep my phone on. So on and so forth. I also acknowledge that there are projects that I’m going to do for free and that is perfectly normal, but guess what? I do get some form of compensation for my time.

I get IMDB credit for my time.

I get another theatre credit to add to my resume for my time.

I get training to add to my résumé for my time.

I get reel footage for my time.

I get nominated for awards for my time.

Every step brings me closer to what I want out of this career, to do something I love and be able to take care of myself financially to do it. That’s the point.

This industry gets on my nerves sometimes.