Going Keto

(Source: Facebook.)

The company I’m enrolled as a distributor with, just launched a whole Ketogenic friendly coffee drink.

Friends unrelated to this company, and have no interest in this company; started talking about going Keto.

Two days ago, a K-Beauty blog I follow, talked about the benefits of going Keto for beautiful skin.

As one of my theatre friends once said: “When the Clue x 4 hits you over the head, you must listen.”

So now I have decided to go Keto.

(Source: Tom Davies and Witchcraft Down & Dirty Facebook page. This is the way I will be drinking tea from now on.)

I’m an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian. Unlike my vegan counterparts, I will eat animal products, just not the animal itself. Surely a vegan will flame me for eating dairy, however the big issue with my health (mentally and physically) is the over abundance of carbs and sugar (and not the caffeine and dairy as I originally thought.) Diabetes is also hereditary in my family, which means I have to keep my eye on it at all times.

There is also a lovely selection of the fruits and veggies I already eat that are included in the Keto diet (thank goodness.) The downside is having to let go of some of the things I love like bread (unless it’s low carb), pasta (I eat zoodles now), candy, alcohol (not really missing much here), sodas/fruit juices, potatoes, and other super starchy/high sugar fruits and veggies. Cheese, on the other hand, stays in the game.

(Source: Facebook. Dairy should still be consumed in moderation, but I will never let it go. I also have no intentions of getting married which should alleviate this problem.)

My first day on the diet was yesterday and I also included a cup of coffee with heavy cream and no sugar. I didn’t have a panic attack, and I had energy all day. As soon as I get my food right, my fitness will be next. I’m healing my body one step at a time.

I Got A Little Triggered Today…

(Source: Saturday Night Live and NBC)

I watched ‘Ingrid Goes West’ earlier today at the independent theatre I used to work at. It was a good film, but I got a little triggered. Much like the heroine of the film, I too struggle with mental illness; which left me questioning myself and life in general…am I like Ingrid?

The answer is quite possibly, yes. Though it was more on a “seeking out a boyfriend” level, rather than trying to make friends or try to be cool. (After being rejected several times, I came to accept being a bit of a loser with guys; but my friendships with women and men are my saving grace.)

In the end, Ingrid had a positive resolution. Me…well my luck in the guy department has not.

It is what it is.

Mad Money

(Source: Is featured on the bottom left of this meme and Pinterest.)

I’m definitely going all in with my acting career. However, I will always have some sort of a side hustle to keep me alive too. Why? Because of things like this, or like this; or the two instances of my loss of employment that both led to extreme poverty and initially to homelessness.

My mother passed down a term to me that she learned from her mother…”always have Mad Money.” If you are familiar with the term, great! For those that aren’t, all it means that if you are a woman who is on a date with a man that is untoward in any way, you always keep a store of cash on you to be able to take a cab home and buy your own dinner.

When it comes to work, it should be the same way. I nor you should be beholden to abuse by superiors because you really need the work; and although it is my dream to take my career as far as it can go, the entertainment industry is basically the Wild West when it comes down to workplace conduct. I would love to be able to have the freedom to walk away with my chosen finger in the air if I hear a producer, director, co-star, or any employer say “if you defy me, you’ll never work in this business again.” That is when you can walk away with confidence.

Sigh…😔

(Source: Facebook.)

The prognosis on my dad is not good and he is depressed. No, he is not dying, but he has to get additional surgery and tons of antibiotics. Honestly this sucks. My dad used to be so healthy. Once again, I feel powerless in figuring out how to make things better. I’m a little worried about his condition affecting his quality of life. The whole healthcare argument in D.C. isn’t helping things either.

(Source: Facebook.)

A Serious Topic

(Source: Ekhi-Guinea, Deviant Art.)

The artwork above is not meant to be funny. What it represents to me is what I see going on in the World right now. While it has been said that right now is the safest time to be alive and that media coverage just puts more emphasis on the negative; when you have events like the mass shooting in Las Vegas last night, Puerto Rico in peril, violence in Spain and Catalonia, and anger over athletes trying kneel for the deaths in the black community…I feel nothing but powerless and basically watching my planet die.

All of this seething hatred means there is a serious lack of love and deep rooted pain. We somehow need to disrupt the pattern or drown in it. But how?

No Sense of Urgency

(Source: Facebook)

I have a laundry list of things to do today and the only thing I got done was: laundry.

I have no motivation. Or should I say, I’m not caffeinated. Because of my bad panic attacks I made it a point to severely reduce and even cut out caffeine in the past couple of weeks. It’s been leaving me super tired, foggy, and dragging.

What can I do though? I can’t get crippled by a panic attack like I did in Manhattan. I just want to function like a normal human being again…sigh.

Theatre Mouse

(Source: Pinterest.)

As I was sitting backstage; I was in the middle of reviewing my notes for when I needed to place props and move furniture. I noticed something in my peripheral while I was writing. Lo and behold…it was a little baby mouse crawling on my shoe. 😮

No, our theatre is not dirty. It’s just that we rent the lower auditorium in a church that is basically a million years old. Because of that, we have the occasional critter roam through the building.

I don’t have a fear of rodents really (I had a hamster once, named Hooba), but I don’t want it crawling all over me like this little guy did. I kind of want to name it too. Since we are performing Tick, Tick…Boom!; I think I will name it Jonathan, like the lead character and writer of the show Jonathan Larson.

Updates

(Source: The Simpsons and Fox. This is my current mood)

Hello! I didn’t mean to be so sparse in my writing, but I was all over the place both physically and mentally that I haven’t really been able to pull it together. I have good news and not so good news.

The good news first: I won my court case to get my medical bills paid from my car accident. My medical team did everything in their power to put me back together and my insurance wouldn’t pay for my care. Yesterday, my parents and I signed off on the paperwork to officially close the case and my medical team has now been paid.

The not so good news: My dad is still having issues related to his illness and has to be re-admitted to the hospital for another surgery and treatment. It’s not life threatening (at least I hope) but it is getting ridiculous and very upsetting.

What I do have upcoming: As I said previously, I’m stage managing at Bootless for Tick, Tick…Boom! Our preview shows are this weekend and we run our regular shows the first two weekends in October.

I have an audition during the day this Saturday for a SAG backed project as I am on the hunt for my last SAG waiver to get into the union. No matter what happens, I will at least know that I took a chance to achieve a goal.

After TTB finishes it’s run, I will have a small box office gig at the Penns Landing Playhouse in Philadelphia. It will be a fair little bit of money for me to earn while I’m working on other projects.

I’m still trying to book other gigs and maybe a part-time day job. I need to stack cash right now (especially since I may have to pay a large membership fee to SAG), so I’m looking for what will give me the most money. I may go back to bartending or serving for that.

That’s all I have for now.

Customer Service Left Me Broken Inside

(Source:Pinterest)

I’m on the hunt for a seasonal job right now. Although I talked more about my HR gig than anything else, it is actually the shortest position I have held in my entire working life. My experience predominantly lies with Customer Service; i.e., retail, restaurants, and, cabarets. Truth be told, I’m dreading the entire process. Yes, I need a survival job because the gigs are too few and far in between, and I need money. Normally I’m friendly with people:

(Source: Pinterest)

However, with all that is going on in the world today, coupled with my very low tolerance for abuse (thanks assholes in the entertainment industry); I’m having a hell of a time applying for things without having flashbacks and eye twitching.

No, not all people are bad and full of drama. Given the approaching spending season however…it can bring out the worst in people.

(Source: afuntumblr and Pinterest. This applies to more than just retail.)

I don’t know if I want to listen to Christmas music on repeat. (Especially ten different versions of “Last Christmas”.) Or have people screaming in my face over an expired coupon:

(Source: Facebook)

I don’t know if I have it in me to have regular customers at any bar or restaurant again:

(Source: Server Life IG)

I have basically turned I into an impoverished curmudgeon. I need to bite the bullet soon if I want to make any financial progress.

Gucci SS18…My Complaints

(Source: Pinterest)

I’m back. After several days of rest and recuperation to try and get my anxiety under control, one of the things I did as a functioning human was watch the Gucci SS18 show live from Facebook.

I consider runway shows to be as much a theatrical event as I do live theatre. As a brand you want to put on a good show for your audience, but I had some issues with this show in particular.

The Lighting:

Pre-show they had normal “work” lights on for the attendees to take their seats. With the drone cameras flying above, you could see this beautiful set inspired by Ancient Rome and Egypt as well as a massive, winding runway. Along with that set you could see that the guest list for this show was incredibly large as there were many butts in seats. Once the show started, the workers went off, the room went dark, the strobes began, and continued throughout the entire show.

Aside from the main area where all of the photographers and videographers were stationed to capture the clothes, there was no light. This is a disservice to the remainder of the audience (who are also members of the fashion industry in their own right) because they are not privileged enough to sit in the designated area to see the collection.

Also I noticed during the final tracing of the runway the lights literally went off in some sections. It was so dark, that it took a few moments for the audience to understand that they were doing a final trace and didn’t clap initially. Plus a dark runway is incredibly dangerous for the models. The set and lighting designers should have given them the courtesy of spiking the runway with glow tape, so they don’t crash into the audience.

The strobe lighting gave me a headache and I was watching on video. I could only imagine what the live audience suffered through.

The Pacing of the Show:

I’m not at all bashing the collection or the models. The collection was beautiful, from what I could see, but that is also a major problem I had with the show. The models were practically racing down the runway! Since I have experience walking in runway shows, I’m sure they were given the direction to continue walking at a fast pace and don’t stop for the cameras. Yes, they practically had an army working this show. Still, if they couldn’t stop to pose, at least let them walk at a slower pace for the small portion of the audience that had good lighting.

I’m going to have to look at the photos later to really look at the clothes. The production value of this show was piss poor with the set, the collection, and the lighting wasted.