Some Thoughts…

(Source: Facebook.)

I don’t have TV in my home right now. I haven’t had access since before I got laid off from my job and became homeless. Which leads me to watching everything by way of digital streaming and DVD. I didn’t watch the Golden Globes because of limited access, however, I tried to keep up with the program by way of recorded highlights and Twitter. There were two major takeaways I wanted to address because they involve a bit of shaming, self-righteousness, and hypocrisy.

First: Why are we shaming actresses who are not wearing black?

It wasn’t required dress code for the Golden Globes. It was an option to wear if you wanted to stand in solidarity with the women who were abused. That’s not an open invitation to abuse more women who chose not to wear black. We don’t know their stories or motivations as to why. Truthfully, it’s not our business to know. Much of the shaming came from other women too, which is incredibly disappointing and hypocritical.

Second: I understand the point Natalie Portman was trying to get across.

She was genuinely trying to call out the selection committee for not choosing any women directors for a nomination. Yeah that is wrong. The people that are siding with her, missed that major point and for some reason got mad at the nominees. Lest we not forget, Guillermo Del Toro, who is from Mexico; the country which bigoted constituents from my country are rallying to build a wall against; the country which our current leadership says has “Bad Hombres” coming from there; the country which our leadership deemed so dangerous, that they have emboldened ICE more than ever to rip families (including women) apart, and wrongfully profiled legal American citizens…

won.

Sometimes we get caught up in the marginalization of women that we forget about other marginalized groups as well. But I have already addressed that issue a few posts ago.

(Source: Facebook.)

James Bond Needs to Die

(Source: Facebook.)

Let me clarify, first, by saying I’m a big fan of the Bond movies…but I’m tired of them. All of this speculation going around the internet about who the next Bond should be is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve gone on record on my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook crying out that Bond needs to die. I will go further in detail here.

Spectre:

The most recent film in the franchise is the one that did it in for me. Besides the fact that they pulled the storyline from the 3rd Austin Powers installment, they wrote a terrible Bond Girl:

Bond’s main squeeze is a classic example of telling you that a female character is strong/intelligent/empowered but having her get beaten down/captured at almost every opportunity. Lea Seydoux’s Dr. Madeleine Swann is the most useless “tag-along girl” that James Bond has had in decades.

(Source: Forbes.com contributor Scott Mendelson.)

The biggest issue I have with the franchise is that 50% of the films are actually any good. With that being said, why to we want to put a black man or woman in the starrer role that could potentially flop? Why do we need to reboot at all? There are so many options and stories to tell in the Spy genre, that we really don’t need another Bond.

(Source: IMDb.com Jeffrey Wright in Casino Royale.)

If anything, the production company should make a Felix Leiter film. Felix is the U.S. equivalent of James Bond and is a C.I.A. agent. The name Felix is unisex so the character can be a he or a she. With that in mind, and with a little bit of bias, I would like the character to continue to be portrayed by Jeffrey Wright. I say with bias because he and my uncle attended school together as kids and he has always been kind, even years later (when my uncle told us that he bumped into him in L.A.)

But I digress. It’s not my decision to make how they go forward with the films. Though my attendance to the newest film is questionable at best.

Bots

(Source: Facebook.)

This meme was originally tweeted out in response to Don Cheadle’s retweeting of a random bot on Twitter. It was directed to the bot and not to Mr. Cheadle. I decided not to sully Mr. Cheadle’s tweet with my response and instead, I’m using it here. Why? Let me share the tweet. Just so you know, Don Cheadle is a real person, David Goodman in this account is not:

(Source: Twitter.)

So, a few thoughts…First and foremost, I’m getting super tired and annoyed with bots and real people telling celebrities, who engage in politics, to shut up and entertain. They are tax paying citizens just like the rest of us. Believe it or not, I get tax deductions taken out of my acting checks and so do they. It’s also very rude to say that all an actor, musician, athlete, celebrity of any sort is only there to be a minion and entertain you. Especially since you have no idea where they came from or how they became celebrities in the first place. Some come from wealthy families, others like myself, came from the dirt. Either way it’s still a job, so we are working just like anyone else on this planet.

Second, I’m getting REALLY sick and tired of troll accounts and bots that are coming out of the woodwork on all forms of social media. They are doing the absolute MOST to divide and piss everyone off. For example: yesterday, a troll account tried to spread a rumor that black women were boycotting the upcoming Black Panther movie. The reason was that Michael B. Jordan, who plays the villain in the film, has a non-black girlfriend in real life.

(Source: Facebook.)

Seriously?! No black women are boycotting this movie! We don’t care! We are watching this film! And yet, a bunch of men on Twitter believed it and tried to drag us! 🤦🏽‍♀️

(Source: Tenor.)

Aren’t people aware that there are more sinister things at work here? These distractions are placed there to ruin us and they’re working. Bots like the one Mr. Cheadle retweeted, should not have had any sort of engagement whatsoever, and yet here we are. He has a massive platform and now that bot has more exposure. That means more fake profiles and cyberattacks.

Instead, here is a good rule of thumb: just block them. It’s not like the admins of Twitter are really doing anything to solve the problem anyhow.

Upcoming Podcast Interview, and a Blast From The Past

(Source: Urban Dictionary.)

Good news! One of the first bookings I have for the new year is a podcast. An acquaintance of mine launched a new website called Bored in DE, which details all of the interesting happenings in Delaware that doesn’t simply include drinking at the local watering hole or going to the new Italian restaurant around the corner (both of which are fairly common in this state.)

He is also highlighting many of the residents who are getting things done or have interesting careers. Prior to Joe Biden becoming our VP, Delaware was just a tiny speck on the map of the U.S. and well…we still are. It’s the reason why my Twitter account’s location is written as “Delawhere?” No one knows or cares where we are.

(Source: Wayne’s World)

Since I have an interesting career, I was invited along with two other actresses to sit down for a podcast interview that will also have a live broadcast on Facebook. A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine, Sara Jones, was just interviewed on the same podcast for her career in fashion: Anara Original, her blog: Blondie Jones, and her book: The Playbook to Essential Style; it was a great interview.

This isn’t the first time I was interviewed for a podcast. Last year during the summer of 2016, I was interviewed by Slate about my financial struggles. The podcast as far as I know hasn’t been released yet, which makes me a bit sad. I was hoping to share the link on this blog, but no such luck. Which brings me to my next topic on this post:

(Source: Jeffree Star’s Facebook Page.)

I wrote this comment two years ago before it was revealed that Jeffree Star made horrible racist comments which eventually led him to be canceled in my opinion. One of his fans liked my comment and I was half-tempted to delete it as I didn’t want to have any associations with him anymore. However I chose not to for a reason, this was my true story, and someone listened and liked it. I do need to make some corrections though because I had abridged an already long comment and I want everything I write to be consistent.

1) The job that I was living Paycheck to paycheck on was my HR job. I had previously posted how much easier it was to structure paying the bills and saving when working a 9-5 job. This was in fact the job I was referring to and I did save money…in the beginning. It was about a month later, was when I was living paycheck to paycheck after loaning my family money to live and my car kept breaking down. My savings was plundered and I wasn’t able to recover for a while. Hell, even now I’m still on shaky ground.

•I did find a job while I was on unemployment, working part-time at a restaurant. It was great timing too, because my unemployment money ran out not long after that. The only issue, I was making the same as I was on unemployment and I soon became homeless because, like I said, financial recovery took a really long time.

•I really didn’t have anything to lose by becoming an actress. I’m moving quickly for the time I started this career. It takes people up to a decade sometimes to get into SAG and I managed to accomplish it in only 2 years. I’m seriously looking forward to what the new year will bring. One of the projects I want to book begins the 2nd week of January. We’ll see what happens.

A Hard Promise To Myself

(Source: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bravo TV)

A concern was brought up to me by my mom and I’m in agreement with her. Since my school has officially been approved for deferment until September 2018, anything I do now must be dedicated to my success in school. She could care less that I go to school (I am an adult and can make my own decisions after all), but she knows that attending college overseas has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. She doesn’t want to see me lose it. So that leads me to make some hard promises and agreements with myself:

•If (in the unlikely event) of me meeting a guy that I want to date, I’m to never compromise for him. Either he is just going to have to make a way to see me in Ireland or not at all.

•I should still be acting as if I’m moving there. I’m not going to be comfortable where I’m at in Delaware and should be completely uprooted.

•I’m also working a regular job until it is time to go, so I have money and I’m not struggling to live or pay rent in Ireland.

•This is still my dream and unless I land some massive role in a major motion picture, I’m not to be distracted from it.

This should be fairly easy as I have way less patience for people wasting my time like they did in the previous years. 2018 is officially the “Get My Life Together” year.

My Christmas Gift To Myself

(Source: The Disaster Artist 2017 and Cine-Series.com)

Merry Christmas! It has been a pretty mellow one in my house. This year has been filled with so much chaos, plus being so busy, that we really didn’t do much as far as presents or anything big. We didn’t even get a regular tree this year, and had to settle for a small artificial tree from the dollar store. Still better than nothing.

However, I did try to do something for myself this year and that was to go see The Disaster Artist: starring James Franco and his brother Dave Franco. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I have had some acting training in Meisner and the first place I went to was James’ school, Studio 4 NYC. I went out of business a few short months ago, right when I was planning on going back…bummer.

(Source: Facebook. Extraordinary Journey of a Black Nerd Group.)

Back in the Summer of 2016, I went to an open call for his HBO show: The Deuce. Simply because I wanted to see Professor Franco in action. Of course professional set conduct prohibits me from talking to him or any principal actor/director and I was fine with that. I just thought it would be really cool to work with the founder of my first acting school. Kind of a bragging right if you will. Although I was selected initially in the first round of open calls, they never used me on the show. However, all was not lost. Attending that open call was the best thing that happened to me as the casting agency ended up using me in a multitude of projects:

•Quantico (3 Times)

•Gotham

•Homeland

•An upcoming Rebel Wilson movie

•A new 2018 CBS show

•The Show I Was Dinged for Mentioning

For that I can be grateful to James Franco for launching my career.

Now about this movie…

I have a couple of takeaways about the film that I want to share:

First and foremost, The Disaster Artist is great storytelling of a very shady man with delusions of grandeur. For a while I forgot it was James Franco playing Tommy Wiseau. I first saw the original film, ‘The Room’, at my best friend’s bachelorette party. One of the bridesmaids did some Wikipedia research on why this film was so insane, and just who the hell is Tommy Wiseau? When I first heard that James Franco was making this film, I was so excited and he did not disappoint.

Second, I don’t know if I can watch anyone’s bare ass on the big or small screen ever again. Seeing Tommy’s rear the first time was traumatizing enough. James twisted the knife in for me. I felt a little violated.

(Source: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.)

Hollywood Feminism

(Source: The View ABC.)

I really wanted to avoid posting about this topic at all, however I cannot hold in what I feel about this anymore. Why? Let me show you the photo:

(Source: LA Times. What’s wrong with this picture?)

The reason why I call it “Hollywood Feminism” is due to the new wave of feminism made cool again, by famous women who are not of color, wealthy, cisgendered, and contemptuous of women who do sex work. We applaud these women and give them a damn medal, but the voices of women of color, transgender, and sex workers are missing. It just makes me want to throw up.

I will be flamed for this post, but I don’t care anymore. It makes it next to impossible for me to fight for the movement, when at the end of the day, my voice is neglected to be heard. No one cares, no one believes me, I don’t matter. So why should I bother?

(Source: Snapchat.)

There are ways to improve this narrative that is healthy for all: Like INCLUDING WOMEN OF COLOR IN THESE INTERVIEWS. Believe us when we also report that we have been sexually assaulted (side eyeing you Lena Dunham.)

Hire us, stop casting us in stereotypical roles, or whitewashing roles that are meant for us. Allow us to tell original stories and not reboot crap all of the time. It’s amazing what difference it will make in the long run.

End Rant.

After Audition Review, Life Assessment and Self-Care

(Source: Someecards.)

As expected, I bombed my audition. I forgot the words to my monologue and my song, and just couldn’t recover. My nerves got the best of me, as well as the feeling of a panic attack coming on. Oh well.

If there was ever a better reason for more training, this is it. My lack of experience showed it’s ass last night. After my horrible audition, I had to go out to work in the snow, to put out real estate signs (the reality of being kind of a loser hit me right there and then.)

(Source: Spongebob Squarepants and Nickelodeon.)

I’m going to have to make some assessments about what I’m doing with my life and work; because even though I’m making some ground, I have to wade through a lot of crap to get there. No, I don’t expect to have things come easy. However, I shouldn’t be left worse off than when I started. A woman I follow by the name of Lux Atl (she’s an awesome lady) on social media asked an open question: how did you grow in 2017? I really didn’t have a good takeaway. Yes, I have had some damn good things happen to me this year; but the steps for me to get there left me angrier, sadder, less trusting, and for the most part…exhausted. I don’t feel like that is a good sign of growth, and trying to practice gratitude under those circumstances makes me feel more guilty that I’m worn out.

(Source: Facebook.)

So where does that leave me right now? Well, I decided to practice some self-care today by going to the Christmas Village in Center City between my work shifts at the Playhouse. I figure if I take in some of the sights and the sounds, I could possibly get into the Christmas spirit. I also may pop by a consignment store too for a pair of new jeans since I’m on my third busted denim casualty of the year.

Going Through Some Things

(Source: Facebook.)

I would sound like a broken record if I list off what I’m going through right now. In an effort not to bore you I won’t write about that. What I will say is that it is affecting me and making me really depressed. I’m putting in the work and praying for a breakthrough. It’s a lost time right now.

I Failed NaNoWriMo

(Source: Tumblr.)

I just couldn’t get it together at all. I had a couple of chapters written for two different stories, but nothing consistent. They will go as promised: in the garbage. For now, the short story prompt that sits as a blog entry from last year remains as is. Maybe I’ll add another short story prompt to it later.