This post is inspired by the recent article about the Non-Sexual Assault, but Sexual Coercion by Aziz Ansari to a young woman named “Grace”. I’ve read the article along with many think pieces and social media posts with various opinions. I have my own thoughts and conclusions, based upon what I read coupled with my own experience…however I’m not going to delve that deep. Rather, I want to talk about one glaring element in the original article and the screenshot of the text messages between Ansari and “Grace”:
the fleeting hope of having some sort of a romantic connection with a rich and famous man, while not being famous or rich yourself.
Let it go. It’s not going to happen.
This makes me sound like a total bitch and I’m sorry. It’s the truth and I want you to understand why.
Yes, there are very famous men who do end up meeting non-famous women and/or fans and end up becoming their girlfriends. However, you have a better chance at winning the lottery than that ever happening.
The reason is because you’re not in alignment with him.
I’m not here to tell you that famous men, primarily actors, are gross. Especially since my dating history consisted of mostly military men, I can say without a shadow of a doubt they are WORSE than actors when it comes to romance. The big thing I want to convey is that these type of men typically date within their station. Someone, who like them, achieved wealth and status. This is why there are so many showmances and scandals, because they date their co-workers who are like them. Why do you think Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle? Because she is within his station due to her success as an actress and a humanitarian. They shared common interests and their mutual friend felt safe to set them up. This relationship wouldn’t have worked if they were at odds with each other.
Now that’s not to say that “Grace” didn’t have some prestige. She was invited to the Emmys and all, but the only thing she had to find in common was to talk about an old camera Ansari was using…and that’s the ONLY common ground they had. Even then he brushed her off at first, which really should have been the tip that this wasn’t going to go her way. All I’m saying what “Grace” really should have done, is to continue to put her nose to the grindstone and work until she is the master of her craft. Then at that point, and only then, would she get the man she truly wants.
With that said, do I feel that men like Ansari are blameless? No, absolutely not. Consent is important and it something that he, and other men can benefit to learn. What I am saying is that we need to stop chasing these stupid men. Accept the fact that you may be single for a while or never be with someone at all. It’s better than putting yourself in a position that harms you rather than serve you.
Anyway, that’s my two cents on the subject.