Customer Service Left Me Broken Inside

(Source:Pinterest)

I’m on the hunt for a seasonal job right now. Although I talked more about my HR gig than anything else, it is actually the shortest position I have held in my entire working life. My experience predominantly lies with Customer Service; i.e., retail, restaurants, and, cabarets. Truth be told, I’m dreading the entire process. Yes, I need a survival job because the gigs are too few and far in between, and I need money. Normally I’m friendly with people:

(Source: Pinterest)

However, with all that is going on in the world today, coupled with my very low tolerance for abuse (thanks assholes in the entertainment industry); I’m having a hell of a time applying for things without having flashbacks and eye twitching.

No, not all people are bad and full of drama. Given the approaching spending season however…it can bring out the worst in people.

(Source: afuntumblr and Pinterest. This applies to more than just retail.)

I don’t know if I want to listen to Christmas music on repeat. (Especially ten different versions of “Last Christmas”.) Or have people screaming in my face over an expired coupon:

(Source: Facebook)

I don’t know if I have it in me to have regular customers at any bar or restaurant again:

(Source: Server Life IG)

I have basically turned I into an impoverished curmudgeon. I need to bite the bullet soon if I want to make any financial progress.

Reboots…

I probably shouldn’t be the one saying this, but…

Reboots are so annoying.

What’s worse, is seeing people on the internet so excited for films that are being rebooted that weren’t good the first time around. It really makes me wonder about people sometimes.

I’m all for making more woman centric stories or an adaptation of a story we haven’t seen on the big screen yet. But why on Earth do I need to watch a remake of the ‘Lord of the Flies’? Or another ‘Mortal Kombat’ movie? ‘Blade’ doesn’t need a damn reboot, and ‘A Star is Born’ is on its 5th remake!

Production companies and investors need to acknowledge that they are too afraid to invest in original ideas for fear of losing money. This isn’t the theatre where you have more leeway to do that because these productions are often short runs and rarely recorded. Even then: live theatre is more apt to take more risks with a new show, which is why I love them. Push the envelope a little bit!

Stepping off my soapbox now.

September Is Shaping Up

(Me looking at the month ahead.)

Without getting too excited, I’m starting to make plans for this month.

If I didn’t mention this before, I will now; I’m stage managing at Bootless for their upcoming production of ‘Tick, Tick, BOOM’. Since my role is different from before, I don’t have to make as many appearances until closer to the run. (Though I am planning to see a couple of the un-required rehearsals to get a feeling of the show and ultimately find out what I need to do behind the scenes.)

In addition to that, I did end up booking the volunteer gig with NYFW! I will post the Eventbrite link if you are in the area and want to support a good cause.

Starting this upcoming weekend, with the additional day that I will be working NYFW, I’m planning on staying in New York for a week or so just exploring the area. I never really get to do that since I couldn’t really afford the luxury of staying in the city and really get my bearings. I’m also considering flexible work with some of the catering companies or the burlesque club up there; when I’m not here in Delaware for the show to make some extra money. (The catering gig would be better, but OMG to perform burlesque in NYC would be divine!)

Overall this should be a shift in perspective since I’m spending more time in New York without killing my wallet. Hopefully I come back with more money too!

Getting Paid

Funny little story:

Yesterday I went to check the mail and saw an envelope from a production accounting company.

“My pay from ‘Bull’ is here, yay!”

I kissed the envelope and went up to my apartment. I opened it up and…it was the pay from my dress fitting for the shoot I did this past Monday. (Which is significantly less than what I am being paid for ‘Bull’)

“Aww.” I said, as I lost the wind in my sails.

Money is still money, so I celebrated receiving my check in the mail (albeit with a little less enthusiasm.) Hopefully after the holiday weekend I will see my pay.

The End.

In Today’s News

(Source: Kevin Gates, Facebook)

I just caught wind of the essay about a director, whose works I enjoy, and his ex-wife and I have thoughts about it.

I don’t think the infidelities is hypocritical of feminism. However, it is abusive and we should call him for what he is: an abuser. This is not a bash against her, because her pain is VALID. As someone who has dealt with the same type of man herself, let me reword this in bullet points to convey a stronger message:

•A man or woman who puts their partner’s (and the people they cheated with) health and mental wellbeing in jeopardy is an abuser.

•A man or woman who gaslights his or her partner (and the people they cheated with) and doesn’t truly allow that partner to walk away and heal is an abuser.

•A man or woman who fights for equality, but is abusive to their partner is not a hypocrite; ACTUALLY, true equality comes from the fact that they are both free to be absolutely shitty human beings. (Terrible, but true.)

•A man or woman who is publicly self-righteous about being faithful, but is committing infidelities out of the public eye is a hypocrite.

•This will affect her with future decisions in picking a partner.

•This will deteriorate her trust in love.

•This will affect any mutual friendships they had.

•This has changed her entire life for better or for worse.

And for that, I pray for her peace and healing.

Journaling

There is a lot going on in this world right now, as well as in my personal life. Like I detailed before, much of it I was advised not to talk about on this blog. Because of that advice, I'm keeping it all within a journal. Not hard since I already keep one for work. The sad thing is, looking at my words written down reflects how truly low and angry I feel. I'm beginning to see where hate stems from: inadequacy and broken dreams.

The Background Actress’s Guide to Costuming


(Circa: Late July 2017 on the set of “Isn’t It Romantic?”, dress $16 from Clothes Mentor West Chester.)

Originally I had pitched this idea to Racked.com as a contributing writer. However they declined because they had articles of a similar nature. I was going to pass on writing this for my own blog. However, the store that I purchased the above cocktail dress from is hiring, so now this essay has become relevant.

Where to start? The beauty about working a background scene is that they give you a list of examples of how you need to dress for the scene. Like:

Gucci
Zara
Tory Burch
Prada
Etc.

They will also give you visual examples of cuts and fabric, plus what tones they need you to wear. Much of this depends on the scene you are shooting too. If you are playing a lawyer, obviously you would be expected to wear a suit of some kind. Playing a hipster would require a different wardrobe and so on and so forth. If they give you specific brand names as the type of look they are going for, it would behoove you to do some research. The best place for this is Instagram, with the next being Pinterest. Look at how your favorite celebrities dress and that will help you.

The roles I typically get picked for require me to be a wealthy, socialite type. Think Hillary from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:


(Source: IMDB.com)

When you’re in my position of very little money and expected to look rich; what do you do?

This is where my friend the consignment store comes to play! The gold dress I’m wearing above is from a higher end retail chain. It’s original price is closer to, if not above, $100. Yet I only paid $16 for the dress and an additional $20 for all of the jewelry. (The purse I received as a gift and the shoes were on loan from the wardrobe department, since my original pair were considered to be too shiny.)

The next thing you need to do is to bring options. Yes, I bought and used this dress specifically for this shoot. However, if the director’s vision for this scene has changed in any way, it is as simple as changing into a different outfit.

A warning though: if you only brought one option this will force the wardrobe department to loan out an outfit and take your pay voucher (and maybe your driver’s license too) for safe keeping until it’s returned. This also means that you have to be extremely careful with the clothes (which you should anyway whether it’s yours or theirs) and make sure you don’t cause damage of any kind. (Or that could affect your pay or chances of being hired for other shoots in the future. One of the shoots I did, an actor walked out with a suit that was loaned to them. Needless to say that person didn’t get paid and is more than likely not working for that agency ever again.)

A few other things I keep on me for the shoot as well:

A jacket or hoodie (for when it gets cold.)

A luggage lock (so no one tries to break into your bag.)

Lotion that absorbs well. (So it doesn’t damage the clothes.)

A stain removal pen.

Deodorant that dries clear.

A robe or some kind of covering you can wear while eating or applying makeup.

A couple of other things I would add would be:

1) never bring real jewelry to a set. There was an unfortunate instance of an actress that brought real gold bracelets to the set and lost them, only to never find them again. Even if you get camera time, no one is going to know the difference; so keep it fake at all costs.

2) don’t wear anything with a very distinct pattern or logo. Production crews do a magic trick what’s called “cheating the shot.” Meaning to make a scene look like it has more people than there really are hired on set. They do this in many different ways, by adding an accessory, or changing your hair or putting you in deep background. This means more camera time for you, so help them out!

I hoped you liked this essay as much as I liked writing it. I also hope I get the job at this particular consignment store since I do get a lot of my clothes from there. Fingers Crossed 🤞

Keeping to Myself

Yesterday I was scheduled to work a gig at an event that would have paid me a little bit of money. The company ended up not needing me, which added to the list of lost gigs that I had this summer. Me, trying to be transparent, posted about my lost gig on my regular social media site. Some people misinterpreted as me quitting acting for good, even though I said I'm not but taking a different approach. Needless to say I got a little frustrated and made another post to clarify the situation which led me to getting a text from a friend of mine with some advice.

Basically he told me that I have such a huge support system now and everyone wants to help, although he admits it may not be the help that I'm looking for. So I have to tread carefully from here on out and not get frustrated with them. He's right. However it puts me in a very awkward position as I feel that now I can't be transparent anymore. I may have to flat out lie about my life being sunshine and rainbows when it's really not.

So it pains me to say this, but now all of my social media, including this blog, is not going to have as many updates unless it's good news. I don't think I'm a fashion influencer with the M2M network anymore (I emailed them to see if I was doing enough but got no response) but I think I will post more fillers from them. Also get back to writing my story prompts since I have to flesh out a story around the theme and vocabulary they give me.

This seems extreme, but there is good reason for it. I've already lost two friends from misunderstanding and I really don't have it in me to lose more.

An Update to the Update


(Source: Yuri!!! On Ice. Viktor Nikiforov 💗)

So what I thought was "No" was actually a very delayed "Yes" the film project wrote me back and sent me a script. I still have no idea what part I'm playing (there are only 2 female speaking parts and the rest are background.) I sincerely hope I have one of the parts as I really need the experience to list on my resume. The only reason why I agreed is because of the concept of the script.

I can't go into too much detail but what I will say is that I could be a witch in this shoot. (Since I'm a crystal hoarding, tarot reading, incense burning, somewhat clairvoyant woman with a very loose Christian affiliation; playing a witch is probably closer to who I really am.) This also fulfills my dream role of playing Hecate in The Scottish Play. (Which was already cast when I came to audition last year 😢 However, I'm not playing Hecate in this shoot.)

Another good thing about this film is that they want us to wear as much black as possible. (Easy enough for me, that is the staple color in my wardrobe.) They also want us to bring a prop.(My tarot cards of course!)

One more thing to add about this film is that it is structured very similarly like my story writing prompts. This is a film competition with the contest runners making up strict rules that the production crew has to follow.

•A specific set of lines need to be included.

•A specific character and their background has to be included

•The production company has a time limit as to how long this film will run (roughly about 5 to 6 minutes.)

Both the lines and the character were selected in a random drawing last night and the writers had to structure the story around that. All of this shoots tonight and be a completely finished product by tomorrow night. (Talk about pressure!)

Hopefully, with their permission, I can share the final product with you on a later post.

Audition Review

I just got out from my audition for the role of Orlando in As You Like It, and I feel pretty damn good about it!

Will I be offered the part? Who knows.

When I auditioned for my very first production (which happened to be Troilus and Cressida) I will admit that I had the "nervous poops". This time I felt confident with the text and speaking the language. Much of that is to do with the sheer number and quality of productions I have performed in prior (and a little bit of studying too.)

No matter what happens, I felt like I was home again. Auditioning for Shakespeare was the correct choice for my confidence.