“Shit Happens.” I’m well aware; but having to cancel a booking sucks major donkey balls. My fear is (even though I have been super consistent with every booking I have ever done with this agency) they won’t trust me to take on anything else. Or maybe I’m just not meant to take on Non-Union work anymore. Either way, I need to continue to make money by any means necessary and I think I just murdered one of my sources by being a flake (even though it wasn’t my intention.) To say I’m upset is an understatement.
Frustrated, but not surprised. I won’t have accommodation for tonight and tomorrow in NYC. I put one last word out to friends in the area that may be able to let me stay but it’s not looking likely. The very last thing I have in my corner is the pending call time.
If it’s later in the morning, I can still go as there are plenty of early morning buses that can take me up there.
If it’s too early in the morning (like 5 or 6am) it’s a no go. There are no Greyhounds available, and I have to be in the city by then to take their subways to get to the shoot.
Its times like these when I really miss having a car.
As I still await my fate for Tuesday, I want to talk about people with no humor. With this said, I’m aware that not everyone is a natural born comedian or has good comedic timing (like me, for example.) However, I do think being able to identify humor when you see it, is very important.
Today, I shared something online that I thought was pretty funny…
(Taken today. Source of photo is from Pinterest and Olympic Channel Twitter.)
Look at it, and read my post about being a potato.
It’s supposed to be wishful thinking. Using the photo of a guy who semi-looks like me. The man has abs for goodness sakes. Even at my lowest weight, all my stomach did was go concave.
Yet someone (a repeat offender) couldn’t take the joke and it makes me wonder: how do these people live? Is there no color in their world? Who hurt them?
I think taking yourself way too seriously, takes away from your quality of life. No one wants to be around the person who doesn’t find anything funny or shames them for finding humor in such things. It also shows me that you may not be able to handle life when it throws you a curveball.
When I was first evicted from my apartment, all I could do was laugh. Not because it was super hilarious, but at the disbelief of it all. If I couldn’t find any humor in it, I probably would have walked down to the Brandywine River, right then and there, to drown myself. Instead, having humor kept me alive, calm, and sane.
Humor saves lives.
(Source: Facebook. When you finally think you’re getting momentum but God has other plans for your life.)
My life has been on one big pause in the past couple of weeks. It’s not just looking after my dad that is causing mass delays either. I haven’t been picking up too many bookings either. That is until today.
I won’t name the program, but it’s new. I’m slated to work on Tuesday when my mom has a day off to hang with my dad. I let my aunt in NYC know that I will be there and now I might not be able to stay. Not by her doing of course. She is going on vacation and they may not let anyone into her apartment while she’s away…damn.
I can’t drive there because the car broke down and it’s too expensive to repair. I’m still looking for regular work in the meantime and it’s been slow going. Needless to say, I’m getting a little frustrated.
There’s an old saying: “No test, no testimony.” I think I might have shared it on here before, but it feels like one of those tests of my patience right now. I’m not sure what will happen from here but at the moment, things look a little bleak. Too many obstacles in my path.
(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)
So I had to cancel my volunteer booking for NYFW. My dad needs attention right now and since my mom works all day, I don’t want to leave him by himself. As of this moment, I’m searching, once again, for gigs I can work from home (or overnight) until my dad’s condition improves.
Good news is, I do still have the stage managing gig coming up that doesn’t start until my mom comes home from work. However, I would have much better luck finding a day job like I used to have. Fingers crossed I find something flexible soon.
So the talk show gig I was going to do today was cancelled, due to the uncertainty of when my dad was getting out of the hospital. Good thing too, he got out today.
I’m well aware he is on a lot of medication and had multiple surgeries in two weeks time. But something is just not right. I’m not going to say what he went into the hospital for, that’s his business and it violates HIPAA; however, I can say he wasn’t functioning well at all today. The doctors have checked and didn’t find anything else wrong. I’m hoping it’s nothing permanent and more to do with his recovery. Fingers crossed.
(Source: Facebook. I don’t know if this meme is really appropriate but it was the best one I could find for this post.)
Last night after the Eagles won, a guy that I used to date frequently told me that he was in love with me. But… I’m not in love with him back.
Now I feel like a garbage human being.
Back in early 2014, I thought for sure he would be my boyfriend, but he didn’t feel the same way. Sad and rejected, I had to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
Which brings me to the present moment: I’m keeping my agreement to myself about staying single to achieve all of my goals and dreams. However, I’m really frustrated that this happened. Mainly because of me being the Goddess of Poor Timing.
Telling him all of this hurt my heart, but hearing that he supports my dreams is wonderfully kind. He doesn’t want to stand in my way, and I’m truly grateful for his understanding. Needless to say, we’re both are going to be a little blue for a while.
(Source: ABC News)
This past Sunday, I did a podcast interview with Bored In DE with our segment called ‘Black Women in Theatre.’ To summarize the interview, it was a series of questions about how we got into theatre, what is our perspective about theatre as black women, and have we ever encountered issues because of it. Here is the link to that interview. A couple of things in the interview I want to clarify: 1) the moment we began recording, my stomach decided to mimic a whale’s mating call. I was a little fidgety and distracted, because I thought the mic was picking all of that up and it was triggering a panic attack….ugh! 2) there is a part in the interview (I couldn’t pin down the time stamp) where I’m discussing about men getting weird with me when I tell them I’m an actress. I was having a hard time completing my thought, however, I wanted to add to my statement about “the perception of what men think actresses do to land roles, is sell their bodies”; I know with an absolute fact that is a total myth. I think many of these men turn a blind eye to sexual coercion because they think it’s acceptable. Also I’m intersectional, so the statement wasn’t a put down to the women who work in the adult entertainment industry either. It’s just a weird pattern I noticed with these men.
Moving on to today: I was invited to appear on a local Philly talk show. A friend of mine is connected with the host of that show and makes regular appearances. Since he is a fashion designer and stylist, I will be modeling clothes as he talks about them with the host. A fun gig and an opportunity to appear on TV.
The day before Valentines Day, I will also make an appearance at the Film and Theatre Artists Networking Exchange. I was cast back in September for a web series that will film in Philadelphia and the production company wanted the entire cast to attend. This will be an opportunity to meet everyone working on the project, as well as, meeting other filmmakers and possibly booking more work.
I will post more as I progress.
(Source: Classical Art Memes Facebook.)
Especially with my dad, a.k.a. The Six Million Dollar Man. He’s back in the hospital currently with multiple small surgeries already done and more to go. While non of his issues at the current moment are fatal, he was definitely teetering on that edge. Hopefully his medical team is able to repair him so his entire body doesn’t blow up.
All the while that is going on, I’m still trying to make headway at home. I went to the job interview I mentioned in a previous post, yesterday. It went well and I’m optimistic. It would be either administrative assistant work or in my old field of HR. I’m also trying to find some part time work, as well as applying for more gigs here and there. I will also be stage managing a show at the end of February, so there is some money to be made there. I just wish I have some kind of breakthrough work wise. Things are getting to be too stressful and hard to manage with little money and so many goals to achieve.
(Photo taken in my kitchen.)
I had to put my attempt at the Keto diet on the back burner due to my limited budget. I’m in between bookings without much money coming in so I had to make do with what was already in my pantry as well as purchasing some extra items.
No, it’s not the healthiest and no, I won’t lose weight (I gave up trying.) It’s basically sustenance until I’m in a better financial standing.
A few things you don’t see in the picture that I want to share with you:
•I have frozen vegetables, that I threw in with that bowl of ramen along with garlic and ginger to taste. It was super tasty.
•I have a bag of apples and oranges that are fresh and cheap. I eat them all of the time.
•We keep water stocked in the fridge at all times and the Hawaiian Punch is low calorie and my alternative to soda. I also drink powdered greens that I sell, along with an abundance of tea (decaf Earl Grey and Herbal.)
•I have both real milk and almond milk in the fridge and chia seeds to make pudding with.
At least I’m trying to do better right?